Good Advice from Brad

Good Advice from Brad
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Saturday, November 26, 2011

Friends and lunches

1. What do you do if your best friend is angry and jealous about something that she won't talk to you about it?

2. What do you do if one of your friends takes your lunch box and then eats something out of it and won't give it back no matter what you say?
( P.S. these are not the same people.)
Thank You Brad!!!!!
Hallie - Ogden, UT

Dearest Hallie,

I am happy you have come to me for help. I will solve all of your problems and your life will be better than ever.

So your friend is jealous and angry? Well, if you want to know why, there are a few simple steps you can take to get in the "know". When she is asleep, dress in all black, sneak into her room and steal her diary. Surely, if she (Assuming it's a she) is a true blooded American girls she has written all of her feelings in the diary. WARNING: If she wakes up while you are thumbing through her diary, throw a white sheet over your head and act like a ghost. This will A: Freak her out. and B: Keep her from seeing your face. A Win Win if you ask me.
Or, you can ask her about it. Tell her it seems like something is bothering her, and as her friend you want to help her out. If she still won't tell you, then you just half to chalk this one up as "Crap that happens when you're growing up". Usually, if she won't tell you it is because she doesn't really know how to do it without making you mad. If she refuses to talk about it, then try to get her mind on something else. Just make sure she knows that you are willing to talk, as her best friend, whenever she is ready.

Problem #2. Now this one is near and dear to my heart. Not because it happened to me, but because ain't nobody gonna live messin' with my hoagie! Step one: Collect all of you cat and dog droppings for 3 or 4 days. (Make your brother do it.) Then make him smash them all together. Cut thin slices of the "Dog Poop surprise" so they look like slices of ham. Then make, or have your brother make, a delicious looking sandwich. When this "Hoagie stealer" takes your lunch they will be in for a giant surprise. If they don't take the Hoagie, then have rice pudding filled with rabbit droppings as a back up. Soon, the joke will be on them. "Ha ha, good one." is what the other kids will say.
If you don't feel up to packing this "Dog Poop Sandwich" in your backpack for half of a day there are other, though not as fun, things you can do. First of all, you need to realize something. When someone picks on you, or steals your lunch it is usually because they are jealous of you. Most people, instead of just being happy with who they are, will tease or bully other people to try to feel better about themselves.. Of course, this doesn't make people think they are cool, just jerks. Luckily, most kids outgrow this when they are older. (But outgrowing this lunch stealing fiasco doesn't help you now. So let's find more ways to clear it up.)
Again, the first thing is to talk to them. Saying: "If you don't have enough to eat my Mom can make you something to eat too." This might make them kind of embarrassed, and it takes the power away from them. They are taking it from you to bother you. Turning it around on them can take the wind out of their sails. You could even, one day, bring a sandwhich that has their name on it. You can say: "I figured you didn't have enough to eat since you always take some of mine, so I went ahead and had my Mom make you one." They won't really know what to say.
But if talking to them doesn't work, you only have a few options. Tell a teacher (Privately of course) guard your lunch with your life or just continue to let it happen. It is tough because you don't want to make the bully target you in other areas. But sometimes ya just gotta tattle.
But the biggest thing you must realize is that they are the problem NOT YOU! You didn't do anything to deserve someone picking on you or stealing your lunch. It is their problem. They are the ones who feel they need to pick on you to feel good about their self. You are a great person, and you can never, ever, ever, ever forget that no matter how many Hoagie Sandwiches, brownies, Cookies, Corn bread, Lima Beans, String Cheese sticks, Pizza balls (A Personal favorite), salads, cupcakes, or Corn Dogs end up inside this lunch box stealer's belly.
No get your brother out picking up dog poop. I'm sure you're going with my first, and best idea.