Good Advice from Brad!

Friends and lunches

2011-11-26T13:50:00.000-08:00

1. What do you do if your best friend is angry and jealous about something that she won't talk to you about it?

2. What do you do if one of your friends takes your lunch box and then eats something out of it and won't give it back no matter what you say?
( P.S. these are not the same people.)
Thank You Brad!!!!!
Hallie - Ogden, UT

Dearest Hallie,

I am happy you have come to me for help. I will solve all of your problems and your life will be better than ever.

So your friend is jealous and angry? Well, if you want to know why, there are a few simple steps you can take to get in the "know". When she is asleep, dress in all black, sneak into her room and steal her diary. Surely, if she (Assuming it's a she) is a true blooded American girls she has written all of her feelings in the diary. WARNING: If she wakes up while you are thumbing through her diary, throw a white sheet over your head and act like a ghost. This will A: Freak her out. and B: Keep her from seeing your face. A Win Win if you ask me.
Or, you can ask her about it. Tell her it seems like something is bothering her, and as her friend you want to help her out. If she still won't tell you, then you just half to chalk this one up as "Crap that happens when you're growing up". Usually, if she won't tell you it is because she doesn't really know how to do it without making you mad. If she refuses to talk about it, then try to get her mind on something else. Just make sure she knows that you are willing to talk, as her best friend, whenever she is ready.

Problem #2. Now this one is near and dear to my heart. Not because it happened to me, but because ain't nobody gonna live messin' with my hoagie! Step one: Collect all of you cat and dog droppings for 3 or 4 days. (Make your brother do it.) Then make him smash them all together. Cut thin slices of the "Dog Poop surprise" so they look like slices of ham. Then make, or have your brother make, a delicious looking sandwich. When this "Hoagie stealer" takes your lunch they will be in for a giant surprise. If they don't take the Hoagie, then have rice pudding filled with rabbit droppings as a back up. Soon, the joke will be on them. "Ha ha, good one." is what the other kids will say.
If you don't feel up to packing this "Dog Poop Sandwich" in your backpack for half of a day there are other, though not as fun, things you can do. First of all, you need to realize something. When someone picks on you, or steals your lunch it is usually because they are jealous of you. Most people, instead of just being happy with who they are, will tease or bully other people to try to feel better about themselves.. Of course, this doesn't make people think they are cool, just jerks. Luckily, most kids outgrow this when they are older. (But outgrowing this lunch stealing fiasco doesn't help you now. So let's find more ways to clear it up.)
Again, the first thing is to talk to them. Saying: "If you don't have enough to eat my Mom can make you something to eat too." This might make them kind of embarrassed, and it takes the power away from them. They are taking it from you to bother you. Turning it around on them can take the wind out of their sails. You could even, one day, bring a sandwhich that has their name on it. You can say: "I figured you didn't have enough to eat since you always take some of mine, so I went ahead and had my Mom make you one." They won't really know what to say.
But if talking to them doesn't work, you only have a few options. Tell a teacher (Privately of course) guard your lunch with your life or just continue to let it happen. It is tough because you don't want to make the bully target you in other areas. But sometimes ya just gotta tattle.
But the biggest thing you must realize is that they are the problem NOT YOU! You didn't do anything to deserve someone picking on you or stealing your lunch. It is their problem. They are the ones who feel they need to pick on you to feel good about their self. You are a great person, and you can never, ever, ever, ever forget that no matter how many Hoagie Sandwiches, brownies, Cookies, Corn bread, Lima Beans, String Cheese sticks, Pizza balls (A Personal favorite), salads, cupcakes, or Corn Dogs end up inside this lunch box stealer's belly.
No get your brother out picking up dog poop. I'm sure you're going with my first, and best idea.

Freaky Roomates

2011-10-06T12:57:00.000-07:00

Dear Brad, I have recently moved to a place where I share my living space with 5 girls who I am unfamiliar with. For the most part, they are really nice. We don't seem to have problems with like catfights or anything...yet. However there is one roommate who is very...abnormal. She freaks out about every little thing and takes it as a personal offense. One night she got mad at me because the sink was dripping and I was the last one to use it (how the heck would she even know that?!), she calls her mom about every homework assignment and gives her a play by play. And she has zero tolerance for pain (she went to a physical therapist when her hands got tired from typing...). These abnormalities aren't TOO bad. I mean, I can easily brush off her little freak outs about dripping faucets, I don't take that personally. And seeing as I'm thinking of becoming a PT, I don't mind the fact that she gives them steady business. The problem is that SHE does things that if I did, she would way more than freak out at me. For instance, I came home today and noticed that her hair dryer and straightener were on my bed. My first thought, "ew, does she like, do her hair on my bed?" Then I realized that her straightener was ON and had been all day! I'm pretty sure that could have burned my quilt. I don't feel like that is an acceptable behavior. But when I was irritated by the fact that her hair tools where on my bed and as hot as can be, she acted quite offended that I would call her out on it. The thing is, I want to be polite, but I also want to be respected. But if I say nothing, nothing happens and if I say something, nothing happens and she thinks I'm the bad guy. I don't care if she's weird, she thinks I'm weird too. It's just that when her weirdness overflows onto my things...that isn't ok. I don't like finding half-eaten plates of tofu on my desk. I still have like 8 months of this and transferring living quarters isn't really an option at this point. What do I do?

Jessica- Provo, UT

First things first. Begin by writing up an official declaration of war. And then run down to Home Depot and buy some 2 x 4's and plywood. Divide your room in half. Once this nut case steps foot on your side, hand her the declaration of war. Sure, she may balk at this declaration, but that's not your problem...she is now, officially the enemy.
Then offer no mercy for the rest of the semester, leaving the tap on any time you want. Dirty dishes in the sink? Not your problem either. "Oops! Her hair gel is mixed with glue!" Did you do that? who cares. This is war baby! and treating your apartment as such will bring joy to your Freshman year.
OR
You can TRY to make the best out of a bad situation. Trust me, there is nothing I hate worse than someone who makes a big deal out of nothing, or is all up in my grill about my bees wax! But you need to realize this is her problem. You will not change her. And you have a choice. 1: Be annoyed all semester. or 2: Try and work it out. If it gets worse you may need to sit down with her and talk about it. You can tell her your concerns and she can cry about it... I mean, express hers. Point out that a dripping sink is not a big deal. When the sink is dripping acid on babies, then she can come cry about it to you.
She is going to do stuff that bothers you. You choose to let it bug you. Instead of it bugging you, find the humor in it. It is funny she calls her Mom over everything. The play by play is funny. Try laughing to your self. Her doing annoying things will only get more annoying unless you find the humor in it.
You are going to deal with any people in your life that will drive you nuts. They can either ruin your day, or give you a chuckle. I had room mates that drove me nuts. My first one in fact (Pictured below) lives in infamy. Some of my room mates and I still laugh about it. We turned what he did into something funny to us. And we have had years of smiles because of it. (Ask me about him sometime. Trust me, you will laugh.)

The Boaz- "Wanna Grapple?!?!
(Picture taken WITHOUT strict or written permission from Jeremy Boaz and was used in the "Learn how to wrestle" flyer placed throughout the campus of BYU-Idaho.)

But I am not trying to act like we didn't have little acts of war from time to time. In fact, those acts of war are some of the funnier things we talk about.

This is your freshman year for Heaven's sake. Don't let a crazy room mate screw it up for you.

ROOMMATE DRIVING YOU NUTS TALKING ABOUT HIS SINGING PROWESS?

Talk him into putting on a show in your apartment.
Name your apartment the "Show Boat Theater" and get "The Magnet Man" to be your headliner.

Have him put on a "great"...or a show!

Earn yourself so extra cash selling tickets to his show by telling people it is for a business class. And then sell out your apartment.

Parking Bum.

2011-09-06T09:03:00.000-07:00

Hate looking like an inconsiderate bum? I bet. Well, here's a tip to keep your lazy butt from look so danged inconsiderate.
Now, we know you aren't the most important person in this Universe of ours. It's time you know that too.
When it says "No Parking" in the fire lane in front of a store... Well, that means you too. No, it doesn't matter that you are sitting in your car while your wife, husband, buddy, son or 5th Grade PE teacher runs in to get Ho Ho's and Slim Jim's for your party. Yep, it's still a fire lane.
I know you assume since you have a party, and guest are chanting "Ho Ho's" that you are now able to park there. But let me assure you that it is still a fire lane.
To help you avoid the rolling of eyes, and gnashing of teeth, find a parking spot like the rest of us. You may even burn a calorie or two. (I know. I know. Heaven forbid.)
Look, no one likes an A Hole. Just park and walk.

You're Welcome.

The Best Friend.

2011-02-08T13:38:00.000-08:00

Dearest Brad,

Here's the situation. Over the past couple of years, there has been a girl that I have been somewhat attracted to. We talk every now and then and both have wanted to go out on a date for some time, but because of her hectic schedule and my running schedule, we haven't been able to do so. But recently, I have noticed another girl, one who just so happens to be her best friend. And of all the best friends I've ever seen, she is definitely the BEST. I haven't actually had a conversation with her, but when we pass each other in the hall at school, we smile and say hi, each one feeling the intense chemistry. I would love to ask her out. Now here's the question. Should I ask the first girl on a date first? Or should I follow my heart and just head straight for the second. Either way, I know they will talk about that date, and if I go with the second girl first, the first girl might feel a little jipped. What do you advise?

Sincerely,

Joe...alone and confused

My advice for you is simple. Take them out on the same date and they can have a knife fight to prove their love for you. Last one standing, or has the most fingers left gets your love.
OR
You really need to pick which one you want the shot with and go for her. With the two of them being best friends, a lot of times it's one or the other. Many times in my youth, I tried the ol' "Get the girl by going through her best friend", only to find that once you have dated the best friend, your chances with the other girl are no longer there.
If you don't single one out you'll be sitting on your porch in overalls with a mason jar of Kool Aid, and a harmonica singing: "I kinda loved two girls but now I kinda lost them both..."
Now go forth and replenish your heart!

Pushing yourself to the limit.

2010-12-12T12:52:00.000-08:00

Dear Brad,

I have somewhat recently come to the realization that while I am progressing in running.... I could be better. It seems to me that I have a lot of things going for me when it comes to body type, endurance, speed and such things. I have been doing alright in races and workouts and such, but I am not satisfied with the results. I feel like I could be doing much more than I really am. After talking with some friends it seems as though many people who beat me have the ability to push their bodies to a higher limit. When I race it is hard and everything. But I don't suffer any lasting discomfort, I rarely throw up, and I am never sore following a race. It seems like I recover fairly quickly and within minutes I am feeling just fine. Races feel more like just a moderately hard workout. Do you have any tips on ways to fix this? I want to take my running to the next level but I can't do that unless I am running the races that I am capable of. I just need to find a way to push myself better.

Logan

If throwing up after a race is your main goal then I suggest eating about 6 to 9 donuts, and a half gallon of chocolate milk 5 minutes before you race. This should do the trick. Then you will feel good about your race, but not so good about the vomit on your racing flats or spikes.
Actually, throwing up after a race is no indication of how hard you ran. In fact, I have never thrown up after a race. But I ran with a kid, who went on to run at BYU that would throw up after every single race...no matter how hard. That's just how his body worked...or didn't work.
And lasting discomfort isn't necessarily an indication of how hard you ran as much as how in shape, or not in shape you are. Maybe you have seen some of the winners of marathon's doing push ups or cartwheels after winning. If you are in great shape, you should feel better after a short recovery. That's one way I gauge my fitness.
We are all built differently. I don't race any easier than I did in my prime, I could just get from punt A to Point B a lot faster back then. A lot of times that is the only difference between the fastest and slowest kid on the team...Pure, downright and dirty genetics.
That being said, Yes, you do have a lot going for you. What you are lacking is patience. Believe it or not, I am very close to your High School coaches. They know they could have run you harder in High School. Had you log more miles...but that was not the goal. The goal was to give you a great base, and let you gain a love for the sport without burning you out. It is what they feel is the best way to get you ready for college. Now you body is adjusting to running more miles, and longer intervals. Give it time. Most of my friends who had very successful college careers didn't get fast until their Junior or Senior years. (One was All-American in the 10,000 Meters, and he was a walk on.)
Focus on what you can control. Put in the miles. Work your tail off in practice. Take care of your body, and eventually the times will come. Again, THEY WILL COME. A couple of years will make a world of difference. Let your body adjust.
Don't forget why you are running in the first place. It's not to take first. It is to push yourself, and become the bet. Your best now is slower than your best in the future. That's life. And that' running.
Good luck...You will be just fine. Trust me.

Fogotten kisses.

2010-11-08T11:48:00.000-08:00

Dear wise Brad,

For reasons that will soon be obvious please keep this anonymous(damn spelling!). Once upon a time on a glorious halloween night my dearest friend shadly of "Gnar-nia" and myself became very intoxicated and there was much locking of the lips and rejoicing and more locking of the lips..........unfortunately the bad ass climber from "Gnar-nia" was sooooooo intoxicated that he does not remember the lip lockage (it feels like I would imagine the movie 50 first dates except not that bad) now.....do i awkwardly explain that during his drunken stuper there was much locking of the lips? Or do i pretend said event never happend again and wait to see if he soberly puts the moves on me? Cuz damn i like me some shadly climber boy.

sincerely,

Lady
Some Cliff in Utah

Well, first of all, I bet he remembers. He may just feel awkward, not knowing what you are thinking. They only way you will know if it will happen in a sober state is if you bring it up. You can even joke about it. You should be able to get a vibe of what he is thinking. I bet, he remembers, and would gladly sober kiss any time. If you don't get the vibe, you too can chalk it up to the whiskey making your lips pucker.
In the world we live in, we need love. Any love is good love so take what you can get.

What to do?

2010-10-18T15:44:00.000-07:00

Dear Brad,
Being a senior is a lot of fun! But it seems like everyone already knows what they will do with their lives after we get diplomas in June! Except me. I have no idea! I sit in class and hear people say things like "Well I'll probably start out at Utah State and go into elementary education, then when my boyfriend gets home we'll get married and move to New Jersey where he'll go to law school and we'll have five kids and be successful and have a great life. Because I have a plan." or "I'm going to SUU where I can play on scholarship for a year, then I'll go on a mission, come home, marry a pretty girl, and become a physical therapist. It will be sweet!"
I have no idea what I will do! There's a lot of things I like and I don't really want to get stuck doing something I thought I liked, but actually don't like as much as I thought I did. Plus, I want to live it up right now while I'm young and beautiful and charming and all of those other things that may fade with time. Of course I want to get an education, but I also want to have fun... Is it ok to not declare a major for a while? Is there still hope for me to have a sweet life even if I don't have a 20 year plan for it?
Thanks,
Jess

Sorry Jess, you are screwed. Your life will amount to nothing if you haven't decided already. You may want to start collecting cats and I assure you that you will end up as the "Cat Lady". You will only need a one bedroom apartment as you will have no need for more. Save the money to buy toys for your cats.Yep, if you don't know by 17 or 18, you are down right screwed. You should have been thinking about your future instead of dating guys and going to dances.
Actually, the curious thing about life is that it usually doesn't end up like you plan it anyway. I changed my major 3 times. I wanted to be a teacher, Occupational Therapist, among other things. But as I grew, and had more experiences these things changed. Sure, some people know when they are a little kid what they want to be...but MOST people don't. I was out of High School 10 years before I really decided on a career.
Fortunately the beautiful and charming will take you places. Look, you are going to spend the rest of your life in the "Real World", you may as well live it up for a while.
This doesn't mean don't have goals, or think about your future, but come on. Don't lose sleep over it. Things happen very fast. Life passes you buy. Are you going to miss it worrying about tomorrow?
Best advice I have is just be ready for anything. Be flexible. Life WILL WORK OUT! You'll make plenty of mistakes just like everyone else.
Again, I'm not saying you shouldn't think about the future. You should have an idea of what you want out of life. But that doesn't mean you need to know what you are going to do for a career, or how many kids you want. That will probably change too. If you would have asked me 10 years ago, I would have said I wanted 6 kids, and I wanted to live in Morgan. Well, we had 3 boys and that was enough for us. Morgan is a nice place, but I would never move back there. I've changed. What I want changed...but I love my life. As far as I am concerned, if you're not living in my world; it sucks to be you. I can't imagine a place more beautiful.
So go out and see the world. Enjoy your youth and all of the beauty and charm. There is too much out there, and you don't want to miss it. Good luck!

Older women

2010-07-05T13:41:00.000-07:00

Dear Brad, I am faced with a problem and I come to you because of your wisdom and studliness, you see there is a girl on the team that in my opinion is the prettiest girl in the world, but she is older than me. What should I do?

Sincerely, Brayden

p.s. I think the other freshman could use this advice too. ;)

My advice is simple. Do what you would do if she were your same age. Though my wife is younger than me, most of the girls I liked and dated back in the day were older than me. So go for it. The only problem was by the time I was a senior they had all graduated. But luckily for me there was a sexy lass who was a sophomore. A wise man once said to me: "Love Knoweth no age, and if she is hot, then go get her and give her a big kiss."
If you like an older girl then ye shall asketh that girl out. And in as much as ye ask her out she will rejoice in her room for the space of many days. And when she is done rejoicing by her lonesome ye will take her out on a date. And you may even locketh thy lips in an embrace of love. And Brad will be pleased. Thus sayeth the Brad.
Go get her my man!

Running slumps!

2010-07-05T13:33:00.000-07:00

Dear Brad-A,

I am in severe need of advice from a superior, experienced runner, such as yourself. What can you tell me, or help me out with, along the lines of a major running slump? my summer has been quite difficult with hardly anything to be happy about. this summer i have expectations and i haven't yet found that zone i was in last summer.
your thoughts would be much appreciated!

Nate - Kaysville, UT

Dear Nate,

I wish there was an easy answer, but unfortunately this is just how running works. It sucks, I know.
All you can do when you run into these slumps is run like you are not in a slump. The more you worry and stress about your "slump" the worse it will be or seem. This is just part of running and racing. Just take care of yourself, hit your runs, take your rest days, and pretty soon you wil come out of it. This is nothing new.
In fact, there was this guy named Adam a long, long time ago. He liked to run. But this was so long ago, that adidas had yet to be invented...I know, a world without adidas is no world I'd like to live in. He ran barefoot, with only a leaf as split side shorts. His wife Eve,w ho was smokin' hot, and clothes-less as well like to run a bit too. One day while they were doing intervals she gave him a piece of fruit as a snack. Well, long story short, he got a major side ache and didn't run well. He thought he would never run well again. But he kept at it at pretty soon he was running well. The End.
Your zone will return! Just work your tail off and you will get back. I know this to be true with every fiber of being.

Friends

2010-02-26T14:53:00.000-08:00

Brad-
Hey Brad it is me again but this time instead of advice on girls, I need some advice on friends. I think I have many friends and that includes hopefully the whole team and some others that don't do track or long distance. How do you I know that the people I am friends with are REALLY my friends? Everyone on the team who I pretty much consider my friends are high spirited and overall are just good people which are qualities in friends that I look for. I hope everyone can see a good friend in me and that I am always looking forward to being a good friend to them. Any advice you have on friends would be great! Go Darts!

sincerely,

Just another distance runner

True friends weed themselves out over time. Over time I have realized that my true friends accept me for who I am, and support me in the decisions I make. True friends don’t care what makes you happy, they just care that you are happy.
Just be yourself. I want people to like me for me. Life is too short to be someone you are not so someone likes you. They are not really your friend if that is what it takes.
It is very easy to tell who your real friends are. Do they do what you feel a friend does? Do they treat you like you feel a true friend does?
Trust me, you’ll know.

Will Pre return?

2010-02-26T14:34:00.000-08:00

Brad, Do you believe that the next Steve Prefontaine is really out there somewhere? Will Pre ever come back?

-Brayden Cromar

Well, no. But will someone make an impact like Pre? Sure. Why not? There will never be another Pre. He came at a time when a guy like Pre was needed to get the sport here it is today. That is why he made the impact he did.
You also need to realize that Pre has been turned into a nearly mythic runner. That happens when you die way too soon. He was a great runner, with a lot of guts. But if you really look at some of the current runners out there, like Ritz, for instance you have someone with just as much killer instinct as Pre. You don’t get to that level without that drive that made Steve Prefontaine so great.
People from the past always seem nobler than people today. Just like when you hear: “Oh Kids these days.” Older generations have been saying that about younger generations for as long as humans have spoken words.
Pre was great. He is a great runner to want to be like. But waiting for the next Pre is like waiting for the next “Beatles”. Life is like a big river. No one owns the river, but we all get to throw in a little something to make it better. We don’t need another Pre. We already have one. We need a “Crom” to take us further. Don’t look for Pre’s foot prints, make your own.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Steve_Prefontaine

To love and to hold.

2010-02-26T14:33:00.000-08:00

Dear Brad,
I'm not sure what to think about my date last night. It was with a girl that I like. It was fun and the concert was great but I'm still not sure where I stand with the girl. I didn't try to kiss her, but when I tried to wrap my arms around her during the concert she got a little uncomfortable and said, "I'm just a really slow mover." I was a little confused because it was our third date and I didn't see that as moving really fast so I don't know how to interpret it or how to proceed in future dates. Do I wait for her to get close to me? Do I wait for her to kiss me? And how slow is really slow? She didn't have a problem holding hands during the rest of the concert but I was paranoid the rest of the night that I had royally screwed up. Everything else was fine, we talked a lot and had fun, we had dinner at her parents place and they seemed really nice. I just don't know what to make of her "slow mover" comment. Help!

Laters
Matt

Well Matt, welcome to the weird, strange confusing World of Women. I have been married for almost 12 years and still end up confused.
I have dated “Slow Movers”, but this, my friend, seems more like a “Not movin’”.
You are doing the right thing by not pushing her to move quicker than she would like, even though this seems strangely slow. But, she may have her reasons, and who am I to question her.
Here is my advice. Have your buddy dress up and deranged murderer. Have him chase you two. Pretty soon she will be begging you to wrap your arms around her to protect her from your buddy.
Or, you can talk to her. Let her know what you are thinking, and how you feel. If you are holding hands, then I can only assume she sees you as a possible “Lover Boy”. A quick talk should be able to help you decide if this whole relationship is going in a direction you would like. You can sit around for 3 months wondering, or cut right to the chase and ask her. I know that worked for me a few times.
Just remember: “Any love is good love. So take what you can get.”

Even the French kiss.

2010-02-26T14:17:00.000-08:00

" I have a question...
If a person kisses someone with a piece of paper between their mouths does that mean they're still VL (assuming they've never kissed anyone before)?"

-- Ça ne fait pas grand bien de s'installer dans les rêves en oubliant de vivre.
It does not do to dwell on dreams and forget to live. -Albus Dumbledore

Dearest Albus,

It’s not so much the act of touching lips that means anything. It is why those two soft, most luscious lips are coming together for that brief moment that means something.
Whether or not a piece of paper was between your lips means nothing. It’s like asking if it’s a real kiss if there is thin barrier of Chap Stick between your lips.
Kissing is great. Forget about VL clubs and get to showing people you care.

Tale as old as time.

2010-02-10T09:20:00.000-08:00

Brad-
There is a girl on the team that I have a killer crush on. I think she is way nice and pretty and I maned up and got her number at a meet but I don't know where to go now. I am in such a struggle I listen to the rest of the guys and their advice stinks. I am looking to you for some really good advice because I know you are the advice king.

Sincerely,

A Distance Runner (Austin Allred)

Oh, if I only had someone as wise as me to get advice from when I was a youngster, I wouldn't have spent so much time fumbling around for the right words. Waiting around for the right time. Hoping that she was the right one. Nope, I wouldn't been sailing on an ocean of love like a giant Carnival Cruise line filled with retired people trying to catch up on days gone by. You came to me just in time.
Well, step one is done. Now CALL HER. (If her number works, you are off to a good start. If the number has been disconnected, move on to another sweet young lass.)
Step 2, get a group of people, and ask your crush out on a hot date and woo her with your charm.
Or, just take her out on a fun date, filled with fun, interacting activities and just be yourself.
Just remember, you are here wondering if you should call and she is probably wondering what she will say when you do call. I have a feeling I will be answering a question for her soon. "Dear Brad, this hot guy from the team asked me out. I am so nervous. He is so dreamy. He reminds me of Fonzie from that 70's show "Happy Days" that was supposed to take place in the 50's. How do I get him to love me and want to marry me and we will have lots of kids, a mini van for me and a BMW for him, a trampoline, an English Bulldog, a picture of the two of us over our fireplace, a fridge filled with fruit, and a t.v.?"
Well, none of this will happen until you call her.

Too many friends.

2010-02-05T12:24:00.000-08:00

Oh dear the god like brad,

Much help is needed. As well as much advice. The conundrum that i am facing is very difficult, and much too hard for me to face on my own. For this reason i come to you, oh wise brad, with my dearest plea for help.

Anna and I (anni) would like to be in the same room at simplot, but we simply have too many friends, we don't know what to do. We don't want to leave any girls out and cause a riot over our friendship, we want no tears over our amazingness and popularity. We love them all, but how do we tell someone no?

Sincerely

You're two favorite fans and admirers

--anna and anni

Well, this is something I know way too much about. "Hey Brad we all wanna drive in your car." "Hey B to the Rad, they say that Hotel only has 184 rooms, and all of your other friends are staying there." "Hey Brad, how do I get to be on your awesome blog www.corbinandbradhavinggoodtimes.blogspot.com ?"
See, this reminds me of the wonderful, touching song from Pete's Dragon, called "There's room for everyone." Well, that is bull crap. My car seats 5 people. That hotel only has enough rooms for so many people. YOUR room at Simplot only fits so many people.
Let them know that this is nothing personal. It's like my wise older brother David once told me: "You can't F with math." There just isn't enough room.
You must remind your group of followers that until lights out, that party will be rolling in your room. Gatorade will be flowing like water. There will be Power Bars galore. There will be laughing, and even a little crying, that will be turned back into laughing. They are all invited to get down and get back up in your room.
But do realize, that if you are always with a certain group, you will give the impression that you are exclusive whether you are or not. If that doesn't bother you, it's fine. But if it does, sometimes you gotta mix stuff up. If you have the "Party Room" that is open to all hip, trust worthy, Gatorade drinking, party goers until lights out, everyone will realize what room they are assigned to, only means it's the room that the will be SLEEPING in.
Now carry on, and get ready to PAAAAAAAAAAAAAARTY!

Water doesn't kill germs.

2009-12-18T14:54:00.000-08:00

After you use the restroom at the store, Energy Solutions arena, the hospital, Olive Garden, Outback Steakhouse, or anywhere else you just used the potty, I think you should be aware that running cold water over your hands for 3 seconds doesn't kill germs. In fact, if you listen really closely you can hear them laughing. If it were boiling water it would if your held your hands under a bit longer, but I don't really recommend that...all that much. Unless I hate your hands. But I don't. At least not yet anyway. Ruin a good hair day running your hands through it and I may hold a grudge.
If you're not going to wash your hands and you want to spread your germs all over the place then man up, and own it. Zip up your trousers, flush the toilet and proudly grab the door handle we all use, open the door and walk out. Stand tall as if to say: "I am a man who doesn't need no washin'. When I's grew up in dem woods we aint gots no soap. We just rubbed dem germs off on a rock and called 'er good."
I admit that my first thought is: "Wow, that's cool, the faucet is pouring out rubbing alcohol." But soon I realize it is nothing but very day H2O, and the soap, under warm water for at least 20 seconds is what you need to get rid of those germs.
Now I know that going to the bathroom isn't necessarily when your hands get dirty, and it's mainly just a good time to remember to wash your hands, which should be done many times over the day. If you're not going to wash your hands this flu season, fine. But for heaven's sake quit acting like you are because we all know you are just trying to fake us out. You just makes germs laugh. And remember, those baby back ribs out on your place are not going anywhere.

More words to live by.

2009-12-14T19:25:00.000-08:00

1-When you are texting while driving...tsk tsk tsk..don't think that because you are holding your phone on your lap that everyone else doesn't realize you are texting. We know why you are driving slowly, and weaving like an idiot. Just because we can't see your phone doesn't mean we don't know what you are doing. If you are going to put our lives in danger, then be open about it. Hiding it just makes you look even more like an idiot.

2-If you are telling yourself that you would run if you only had a treadmill, you are either really delusional, or a complete liar. If you don't run outside, you won't run inside. Save money and buy hangers instead of a $1,500 clothes hanger.
Better yet, get out and run. If you can stick through the opening stage of getting in good shape you will probably stick with it indefinitely. If you run outdoors, then you will run on a treadmill on those extremely yucky days.

3- Everyone doesn't think like you. The minute you realize this your life will be so much easier, and people will like you much, much more. Now, don't let me lead you to believe that you shouldn't think like I do, because you life will be better if you do. But I do realize, everyone doesn't like to run, drink Mtn. Dew, listen to good music, and live a kick ass lifestyle. And I'm okay with that. But really, everyone doesn't hold the same arbitrary values you have, like the same things you do, or respect the same people. See it for what it is...They are not attacking you, they're just giving you a chance to see things differently. And maybe, just maybe, one of us might change the way we think. If you always assume you're right, you'll never learn new things.

4- Be nice to people and your life will be easier. When our boys came home with their report cards with great grades, what we raved about was their Honor in Citizenship grade. Both of their teachers said they give very few over all Honors. It is graded on about 10 different things. This is exactly what I told Ethan. "Why we are most proud of that is because it shows what kind of person you are. Any asshole can get straight A's, but only good people will get all Honors. Trust me Ethan, if you are nice, respectful, and caring towards other people your life will be much easier." It's true. Doors will open for you that you never imagined. People hire, buy from, want to be with, want to help out, and include people that are nice. I have found it also helps to be really, really awesome. Being cool is a plus, but Really, Really Awesome is a shoe in for success.
Being nice to people helps you out, and helps other people out. Everyone's life gets better. Remember, everyone, if they live long enough with lose everyone they care about, isn't that reason enough to be kind? I think so.
No one likes and A hole...don't be one! And that's my advice for the day!

Ben who?

2009-09-02T20:45:00.000-07:00

Dear Brad,I need your help. What would you do if you once had a great friend, coach and mentor that totally changed your life, made you a hero and a legend, taught you to run and talk at the same time, peed with you in the park before a meet, trespassed over half the land in Morgan in Fugitive, put on races together with boxcutters and sandpaper as prizes, laughed, cried and bled together, popped each others' zits, shared ice cream and campfires, and became immortal in song together,* AND THEN, out of NOWHERE, this mentor, friend, coach cuts off contact and stops talking to you and leaves you in a strange new city alone, with no freinds and no running routes. What would you do? Advice is needed. Plus, I am pissed off you never gave me advice on my last question, honestly. Though it was a while ago.

Ben "The forgotten One, though you named your son after him" Ure

Oh Benjamin, oh dearest Benjamin, it is you that has forgotten your roots. I long for those days of us running to and fro in Morgan in the dark night. I keep looking at your Blog which has not been updated since early 1986.
In fact, once you left the country, I didn't hear from you. I wept myself to sleep at night holding little Benjamin hoping to some how feel your spirit. I tell him stories of you in hopes that he will know the legend that I once laughed with, took a pee in fields with, and acting about 1/4th my actual age.
If I were you I would come back from the big city and live in piece here in Utah...the place where you belong. You are still my favorite Benny Boy.
Also, I have looked back at my records and I answered your ONLY request for advice.
Come home Benjamin!!!

Should I shave or let it grow?

2009-09-02T17:36:00.000-07:00

Dear Brad,
My question is simple, should I shave my runner legs or not?

-Brayden, Kaysville, UT

Well, if it were me I'd say "Yes". If it were my wife she would say "Yes". I like it, she likes when I do it, and we are the coolest people in the World, so I don't see that you have an argument.
But then again, it should be up to you. If you ant to, then do it, and don't care what other people say. Your life is yours.

How do you do it?

2009-09-02T17:23:00.000-07:00

Hey Brad, it's me, "Adams" or Seth, or Seth Frischknecht. I hope you remember me (that's actually what my question has to do with). Anyway, I was just wasting time (or so I thought) when I came across your good advice blog! I can't believe I've made it this far in life without all of that. For some reason, the gods have been good to me and have given me this chance to start receiving your advice. Anyway, my question is how can I get people like you and Coach Talley to think I'm still cool? I mean, in High School, Coach Talley and I were friends and stuff, and now I think he thinks I was just another one of those kids, you know? And you - I still remember you talking to me right before the 800 at State my Senior year, telling me to go out there and have fun and all. How does someone cool stay cool?
Thanks man,

Seth - Fruit Heights

First things first. I doubt a God sent you to me. It was just dumb luck. But luck all the same. And not luck as in some super natural force.
Secondly, I too, am surprised that you made it this far in life with out royally effing up without my advice. It is lucky you found this site when you did.
You will never be be just another one of the kids. When meets get rolling, Coach Talley has a hard time remembering to eat. In fact, one time he was so wrapped up in the races he forgot to breath. 2 or 3 minutes later he started to turn purple I had to throw a glass of cold water in his face to get his attention. I swear he was seconds away from passing out. What I am trying to say is; don't take it personally. Talley has a job to do at meets and he doe sit well. The Darts aren't where they are because Coach Talley is shooting the breeze with people. It's not us, it's him. ;)
Secondly, if you want to stay cool, then be cool. You don't people to tell you that you are cool. Just be cool. It's more of a state of mind. Just be who you are and don't worry about it. In life there are going to be people that like you no matter what, and there will be people who do not like you. Why waste your time worrying about people who do not like you, when you could be hanging with people who do?
If I worried about the people who didn't like me...well let's for the sake of this advice say that there are actually people who don't like me...well, I would have less time to be cool and give great advice.
Without getting into B.S. crap like "The Secret", just be what you want to be. Having other people think you are cool starts with you thinking you are cool. The rest is just sitting around chilling out, and letting the ladies swoon.

Should I push or should I shove?

2009-09-02T17:17:00.000-07:00

My Dear Brad, most of us XC studs like to run the 1600 in track. While running the 1600 at that first 100 meters or so there is always that slower child (who unfortunately did not choose to run XC) who likes to cut you off and go his pace. This can create great problems if you are boxed in. Others also like to throw elbows and make you stumble, this is also unacceptable if you are faster. Should I hit back or blow his mind away with my insane running skills, or should I completely blow out of the starting line like a certain member of our team, Brad Nye?

-Brayden Cromar Kaysville, UT

Unfortunately slower runners shooting out like a bandit is just part of the sport. But even though Track is a non-contact sport, you can't be a wuss. You need to be aggressive the first few hundred meters and when the race really gets going later in the race. If you had a chance the watch the 2009 World Track and field Championships, you saw many people fall, get shoved down, or shoved back.
You should never shove or push to get ahead, but be prepared to protect your territory. If not, you will find yourself boxed in when the race really gets moving leaving you running for 2nd place.
But in the first 100 meters it is better to get out fast enough to keep yourself out of the shoving matches. This is not saying blow out so fast that 200 meters later you are gasping for air, but in track position can be everything. Especially the bigger races. So don't be a fool, stay in school, and get out fast.

BYU?

2009-05-28T20:08:00.000-07:00

Dear Brad,

as of late, i have been receiving a few calls from in-state colleges and i just don't know where to go to school. my family and neighbors and everyone i talk to seems like they want me to go to byu but i just don't feel like i would fit in there at all. can you give me any advice?

your indie pal devin

Devin, you came to me in the nick of time. This is no time to be messing around with your future. Understand that I am collecting funds right now to buy BYU and shut it down. Do you really want to go to a school that may be nothing more than an industrial park come next year? I doubt it.
Do you like shaving? Do you like short hair? Do you like having things suck? If so, go to BYU. Do you like me? If so, Don't go to BYU.
Okay, okay, I'm just yanking your chain. Though I am not a BYU fan, to say the least, and I am working on the funds for the buy and bash, what I think of you has nothing to do with your choice of college. I think their XC Coach is a swell guy too.
You need to think about this, as it is a big decision. What do you want to get out of this experience? You'll find friends wherever you go, but if it were me, I'd go where people are a little more like minded. You will excel at a runner at BYU, or any other school you go to. I am partial to Weber State, and think it's a great school, with great coaches. But like I said, this is your decision. You need to forget what your family, and neighbors are saying and only listen to me. Bake me cookies, and bring me a Mtn Dew ASAP.
In closing, all you need to do is think about what you ant from your college experience. Both with Track, and life in general. Don't let other people decided for you. You are a great runner, and an even better person. Your taste in music is second to none, and your World View is right on track. Now get off the Internet and register for classes at Weber State.

Selective hearing.

2009-05-20T08:48:00.000-07:00

Dear Brad,

I have a wife that thinks I don’t listen. Sometimes she tells me I am deaf. So much so that I went to the audiologist and got my hearing checked. I can hear perfect. So, Brad, man of many answers, is it me or my wife that is wrong?

Signed, Deaf only part of the time

It's your wife's fault. Plain and simple. She should start telling you things you want to hear like: "Hey hunk of muscle, do you want me to get a dozen of your favorite donuts, or two dozen?" or "Hey Super man, do you prefer a foot massage, back massage or both?" See, I bet you will hear things like that. If she could just grasp this, she would no longer think you are deaf. I don't think it is that hard of a thing to understand. Tell me things I want to hear and you can bet you bottom dollar I will hear it.
But since I do live in the real world, lets examine this better. It reality, it is probably both of your faults. I know my wife will tell me something when I am not paying attention, and as an automatic response I say "Yes", or what have you. I should have stopped and realized what she was saying.
The second problem is that your wife may be suffering from confirmation bias. Once she thinks you never listen, she remembers the times you didn't listen and doesn't remember the many times you do. You leave you shoes on the floor 2 days out of 7 and "You never put your shoes away." When in reality you put them away most of the time.
Once she thinks you are deaf, she will notice things that confirm what she thinks. I would be willing to guess that you do hear what she says more than 90% of the time. But those times go unnoticed.
So where does this leave us? Right here reading a blog from a guy that may or may not know what he is talking about. But as that guy that may or may not know what he is talking about I think that should be pointed out. I used to "Never put my clothes away." But once I pointed out that in reality I put them away most days, it isn't as big of an issue. I do try to put my clothes away everyday, but come on, I get busy being cool, and pretty soon I have run out of time to put my clothes away. It's the curse of awesomeness.
If this doesn't work, take a Q-tip and get some of that wax out of your ears. Make a candle out of it or something. Your wife will appreciate the thoughtfulness and new decor for the house. Just hope the candles are not scented.

Parting advice.

2009-03-27T09:11:00.001-07:00

B-Rad-
I read the note below about living it up, and I was impressed with your reply. Sadly, I am a senior, along with several other xc/track kids.... and this means that some of us just aren't gonna be seeing too much of you after graduation. Any parting advice for the seniors?

-Cromar

Well if you are talking about parting you hair, i think I can give a little advice. First you need to decide which side to part on. Being right handed, I naturally want to part my right side, but after looking in the mirror, my hair looks better parted on the left side. So I try to part in on the left side.
There was also a time in my life when I had much, much, much longer hair when I would part almost in the middle. Yep, the 90's were great days for hair fans, or fans of the hair...not to be mistaken with fans that blow air into your hair. It was parted nearly in the middle, though favoring the right side. It's what all the kids on the block were doing.

But sad to say, I have not parted my hair since before I was married to my sweet young bride. For that is the last time I had hair of parting length.
Truth be told, I actually don't even use a comb. I have not used a comb for 7 or 8 years. Why? Beats me. I can do a better job with my fingers I suppose. I've got millions of years of evolution in these babies, while a comb just has a few thousand years of engineering. It is obvious that the primary function of the hand is the comb ones hair.
Upon reading your question again, I think I may have been mistaken. You may not be talking about parting your hair. OS let me try this again.
If there is one thing I think everyone should realize is that life is short. I know you have heard that before, thousands, if not millions of times. But it is true. People spend the first 20 years of their life wishing they were older, and the next 60 or 70 years wishing they were younger. Always remember, Summer vacation is going to come. You next birthday will come. Soon enough you'll be able to rent a car, buy a home, buy whatever you want to, stay up all night with out asking for permission. But don't spend the time you have now waiting for those days. Trust me, the next thing you know you will be 30, 40, 50 and wonder where all of the time went.
We've all seen the insurance commercial that says: "Life comes at you fast." It's true. It seems like last year I was staying until 4 in the morning playing Ping Pong with my wife (then girlfriend) at her college apartment, thinking how great it will be when we are married. Well, being married is even better than I ever hoped for. We have 3 amazing kids that are the light of my life, a Bulldog like I always wanted when I was a kid, the tramp I never had growing up, a wife I love more than anything...even running, I have better friends than I have ever had in my life, and I think life is pretty darned sweet. But every year my kids get a year older. Things come up and we get to spend less and less time as a family. We've got soccer and basketball practices, overnight trips for work, sleep overs are friends houses. I am very happy that I am not looking back on the last 8 or 9 years thinking, you know, I didn't spend enough time with my kids. I knew the trip Amber and I took to Mexico last year was going to come. I didn't waste my time thinking about it and wishing it would hurry up on get there. It has almost been a year since we went.
I did however spend many nights sleeping on the tramp with my boys, building forts in the living room, burying treasure and making maps for them to look for it, family movie nights, coaching soccer games, wrestling, playing tag, shooting hoops, and reading children's books. I know that pretty soon they will want to be hanging out with girl instead of Dad. They won't always need me to drive them to the store, turn the shower on for them, help them find their shoe, show them how to swing a golf club, zip up their coat, help them with their homework, tell them what some word they heard on on TV means, put a band aid on for them, and that is why I love doing it now.

You need to think about the future, don't get me wrong. It will serve you well, to have goals, know where you want to be, and how to get there. Worrying about what needs to be worried about, and forget the rest. You will lose a lot of things in your life, a lot you can get back. But today is something that is gone forever. Spend time with the people you love. Do the things you want to do. Do it today, because once life comes at you, you may never get to do these things again. You may as well live your life as if this is all there is.

So my parting advice: read what I just wrote in the paragraphs above, and you should be able to get what my advice is. If not, shoot me an email and I will spell it out for you.

Livin' it up.

2009-03-10T22:02:00.000-07:00

Brad,

I am in need of serious advice. I am faced with the last term of my high school career, and I have been told to, "live it up. Make the most of what time you have left with those you will probably never see again. You are only in high school once," but here is my problem.....as of late I have been feeling so overwhelmed with school, scholarships, running, this singing group I'm in, etc. My time is just very strained. I just want advice on how I can live it up and make the most of this last term without feeling stressed. Is this impossible??

Thanks,

The Lizard - Layton, UT

Well, you need to go to a party with Corbin and me. We, as you know from the Fun Report that comes out weekly, are the funnest people in the world. You need to shadow our every move. Find out what makes us tick? Why are we so awesome. Why is it, that when we cough, people start dancing?
But I know your time is very valuable, and as much as you'd love to do that, you can not. So now, I give you plan B.
PLAN B: Prioritize. You've got to get rid of the stress. You can't do everything. You can't spend time with everyone. And you've got to stop worrying about doing it all. Despite what you think, the friends you really care about you will see again. And thanks to Facebook, it will pretty easy to stay in contact. When I was your age, I just had to look out at the stars and sing "Somewhere out there", hoping whomever I was missing was wishing upon that same star. But you've got the World Wide Web at your finger tips.
Do you love running ?(Say no...you die.) Do you love your singing group? (So no...I won't care all that much.) These are great things. I would not suggest dumping these things as they are things you probably won't do as an organized sport after you graduate. If you throw them out, you will regret it.
So this leaves us with school. I suggest you drop out. Okay, that is not an option either. So I guess I'll have to give you something useful.
You just have to deal with it, and not stress about it. Living it up is doing what you want to do. There is no map to living it up. Being with the people you love. Doing the things you enjoy. That is living it up. If there is something you are doing now that you don't have to do, and you don't like doing it anyway...then don't do it. Spend time doing the things you NEED to do, and the things you WANT to do. I know this sounds simple...but trust me it really is. Just do it.
You are very lucky in the fact that you have great friends that are involved in the same activities you are. What is more "Living it up" than doing what you like with people you like? Nothing. You are living it up. I know things get stressful, and that is no fun. But don't let trying to "Live it up" get in your way.
I remember starting my senior year. Unlike years prior I decided I was going to get involved. I was going to get involved with school activities outside of running and sports. So, for the first glorious week I did just that. Then I spent the next few months in a hospital bed, but I still made the most of it. As you can imagine I had a lot of time to think. I also learned that it wasn't about what I did, but who I did it with. Even though I couldn't really do anything but fill the urinal up with apple juice, and sit in my wheel chair staring at the vending machine deciding what I would get when I learned to eat again, all I looked forward to was seeing people. It was then that I realized I had been doing what I loved (Running, sports, goofing off with great friends) I had great friends. People are what make the world go round. I was amazed at the people who supported me. Past loves, old friends, lover's spurned, teammates, and casual acquaintances were all there. Most have no idea what their visits meant to me. I was a 17 year old who couldn't walk, eat, or move my left arm, but I was still living it up.
So what does this mean to you? Stop worrying about "Living it up". Do what you love, with who you love. And if you do that, you are "Living it up". I wish I had some "Magical recipe" for you, but sorry to tell you, most things in life are that simple. I don't have to jump out of a plane, ride a 75 foot wave, or climb a mountain to live it up. I just have to be sitting on my couch with my kids on my lap, jumping on a tramp with 3 little boys who think I am a stud, packing a 6 year old on a bus to Phoenix or California to a Cross Country race for 3 days or go running with my best friend who I married to be living the dream. I can even go to Davis High School where my BFF is a teacher, laugh and joke for a bit and talk running with a bunch of kids who are eager to learn a thing or two about how to run the mile, from a guy who at one time in what seems like a past life was a pretty good miler. It really doesn't get much better.
Your life is in your hands. You know what you love.
Now get out there and "Live it up."

Here are pictures of me Living it up. As you can see: No Magic involved.

Hanging with my fellas!

The family.

Hanging out with my Child bride in Monticello, Utah
Playing Hoops.

XC Camp.
Hanging out with my lady, and my bro and his lady roasting hot dogs over the stove.
A few friends.
A few more friends, and brother, and my lady.
The AF boys. We're just shot at crap after a night of camping out.

Filling balloons with shaving cream, for some reason with some roommates. I decided to seize the day and shave.
Hanging out at Albertson's at around 4 AM with Heather, Kelly, and some worker.
Running at State XC. See, I did run.
A late night of shooting hoops with the guys. We went well into the early morning hours.

It is these times I miss, and love most.

Darwin's train.

2009-03-06T12:49:00.000-08:00

Brad:

I spend a lot of time keeping up on current events around Utah. I've noticed that lately there have been a lot of incidents of people getting hit by Trax-- Guys on skateboards, drunk pedestrians, careless vagrants... you name it. Am I sitting upon a high horse thinking that someone would have to be pretty stupid to get hit by a train? Its not like a train can sneak up on you. Even if it can sneak up on you it is no surprise where the train travels--on the tracks!! My question is: Do you think that Trax is helping society in Salt Lake City through the process of survival of the fittest--you know, Darwin's Natural Selection?

David - Salt Lake City, UT

You know, I've thought the same thing David. We need to come to grips with the fact that some people are just really, really stupid. I too, have wondered how some moron could ride his bicycle, perhaps built for two, into a train. As you pointed out, it is not like it can sneak up on you or anything. At times I do think it is natural selection at work.
TRAX seems to be the perfect "weeder" for the Salt Lake City area. It takes out the dummy's while keeping you from getting blood on your shoes. It genius really.
Now it is in your hands to support this "Darwin train". Make sure we keep it around, so we can rid ourselves of ding dong's.

Facebook or life?

2009-03-06T12:44:00.000-08:00

Which should I do first: Write my paper for Introduction to Islam, or
study for the midterm in Political Science 200? Or should I just keep
surfing facebook?

Timothy (The Bishop) - Provo, UT

Don't be stupid Tim...Facebook always wins. I'm not sure what else to tell you. Would you rather do what you need to do, or what you want to do? It's a simple choice for for me.
For instance. I really want to kiss Amber, french style, and I need to mow the lawn. Of course I'll be kissing French style FIRST.
I hope this helps.

Afraid of the night?

2009-03-06T12:38:00.000-08:00

i am in desperate need of some advise brad....it's my daughter......she is 8 years old....and the poor little girl is scared to death of the wild animals she hears at night....she says it's animals that don't even exist....she doesn't want me to shut the door now and is pretty scared of her room.....i think we have traumatized the poor girl....what should i tell her....how can i explain where these noises are coming from?

Emily - Ogden (Greatest city in the World) , Utah

Emily, I have heard this all too many times. But see, kids are afraid because they think they should be. Here is a poem I wrote me kids.

Night Time

by Brad Anderson

1/6/2005

Night time isn't scary.

It's just different. That is all.

Although it might be spooky

when you're young and kind of small.

In a lot of ways it's better

than the day when sun is out.

I know a couple of those things

I'll tell you all about.

In the day time you can't see the stars.

and they are all so neat.

I like to watch them twinkle.

That is such a special treat.

It looks like they are winking.

It's a show that's just for me.

Sometimes they run across the sky,

so everyone can see.

And the moon is the Sun's brother,

'cept he isn't quite as bright.

He likes it when I come outside

to look at him at night.

The Moon will change his shape.

I like it best when he is round.

It looks like he's a ball of cheese

that's high above the ground.

It's not scary when it's dark out,

it's just different 'cause you can't see.

But the flowers are still out there.

Just like every single tree.

And all the birds are outside too,

except they're in a nest.

And when it's time for them to sleep,

they like the dark the best.

Even though it's dark outside

I know my bike, and toys are there.

They're laying where I left them

with no worry and no care.

When it's dark the world is not so loud.

There aren't a lot of cars.

Then I don't have to speak so loud

when talking to the stars.

And I like things when they're different.

It is nice to have things change.

But if you never try it out at all

you'll always think it's strange.

And then it might seem scary

even though it's really not.

I bet if you give night a chance

you'll like the dark a lot.

* NOTE TO READER: I never wanted the boys to be afraid of the dark. So I have always tried to get them to see the good parts of it. If they seem a little scared I've always said:"See the Dark isn't scary. It's just different." Then I point out all of the things are out side, but they just can't see them. So neither of the boys really have a problem with the dark. I figured the only reason people are afraid of the dark is because they have been told they should be. Anyway, that is where the idea for this came from. (Do realize I still run inside as fast as I can when I am at my Mom's. Because there are Monsters there. The trees behind here house are spooky. Just don't tell my boys that.)

Getting the guts to be gutsy.

2009-01-18T08:56:00.000-08:00

Brad, I just ran the 3200m at a track meet. I didn't do very well. I've always heard that one needs to take some risks and make some gutsy moves. I have never been one to do such a thing, but I think that it would help me. How do I learn to take some risks and run a less hesitant race?

Jeff - Kaysville, Utah

Well Jeff, this one is simple. Have you ever read the book The Secret? All you need to do is write down what you want on a piece of paper and it will come true. But as you know, I wouldn't let you off the hook like that. Don't buy The Secret. Unless you want to blow a few bucks.
In order become a gutsy runner you have to know what you are trying to do. "Running Gutsy" is very ambiguous. To me, that just means getting a goal you are shooting for and doing what you need to do in the race to make it happen.
If you are looking to feel good about your race you need to get a specific goal. Whether it's "run a 10:00 3,200." or "Take top 3". I also suggest having a few goals like: "Set a PR, Run a 10:00 3,200, Take top 3, Beat Topher Tacklehuckin, etc".
Running is hard. If you don't have a specific target, you will oft times find yourself feeling less that happy about your races. Sure, a lot of races you won't hit your top goal, but it is learning from those races that will get you there.
Running on the track has it's advantages. You know exactly where you are in each race, since the track is measured out. You can set a Goal time, and check to see where you are. Say you want to run a 4 minute mile (I know what you are thinking. Just an example kids. Just an example.) You know that you need to run each 400 in 60 seconds. Each 200 in 30 seconds, and each 100 in 15 seconds. Break the race up and monitor your times. If you come through the first 400 in 17 seconds (Not bad depending on your race strategy) you know you have 2 seconds to make up. Run the next 100 in 14 seconds and you know you have 1 second to make up now. I don't want to make this confusing, but I hope you get the point. Running a Gutsy race , as far as I am concerned, is having a goal, and doing whatever you need to do in order to get it down, come hell or high water.
If you look at elite runners, they know what time they want to run. Even in a Marathon, if you ask them where they want to be time wise at the 5K, 10K, 15K, Half Marathon, etc. I will bet my bottom dollar they will know. If they get out and conditions aren't right for that goal, I can bet you that they have a Plan B, Plan C, and so on.
Like I have said before: "Running is not rocket science." I know when you hear something like "Running a 'Gutsy' Race" it seems like there is some magical thing you need to do. It's not that at all. When someone has guts, they do what they set out to do. And if they didn't hit their goal, they had done all they could do to have accomplished it.
If you look back at the post about "Becoming a great runner", you will see that you don't run gutsy without first putting in the work. I know your coaches...if fact, Your coach is my BFF. He knows EXACTLY what he is doing. You are in great hands. If you want to run gutsy in races then you need to put in the work in practice. You can WANT to run Gutsy all you want, but there is no magic involved. If you do not train hard then running Gutsy is something that you can't obtain. If you put in the work, the rest is just details.Get with your coach and let him know what your goals are. I know he will help you get there. Coaches are very busy. There are a lot of runners. But I know, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that if you go to them and ask for help, they will give you all of the attention you need. It has nothing to do with speed. It has to do with who wants the help, and who wants to run their best. Ask and ye shall receive.
It is also a good idea to write down what you are trying to do. Write your goals down. But writing it down isn't the what makes it happen. The work makes it happen. But it is very helpful in reminding you what you want to accomplish.
I know you Jeff. I know you are a hard worker. I have no doubt you are a gutsy runner. You just need to pin point what you want to do, and talk with your coach to get a plan to get there. Then go into your next race knowing your splits and where you have to be. I know when you have that goal, you will be there. You are a gutsy runner. You just don't know it...YET.

"Trust me, it's locked."

2009-01-16T15:44:00.000-08:00

As I have come to know, most people do not like looking like an idiot. How do I know this? They tell me so. But still, I oft times wonder why people do things that make them look like an idiot. So like some of my past posts, I have more quality advice to keep you from looking stupid.
Next time you are walking up to a door...say it's a High School Gym...or a Church house, and someone says to you, "the door is locked." Don't be a dummy and try it anyway. Has someone ever said that to you and you went on to find the door was not locked? No. Did you feel like an idiot after they had told you it was locked and you still tugged on the locked door? Yes. so save yourself from the embarrassment that surely follows and take their word for it.
See, most people in this World, whether you want to believe me or not, are very caring and look out for other humans. Trust in people. * I am not saying that you should believe extraordinary claims with out extraordinary evidence. Always keep your skeptical eye open then. But when it comes to something as simple as letting you know you need to look for another way in since the door you're headed for is locked, trust them friend.
Now that is some good advice!

COMMENTS?

Bluetooth Blunder.

2008-12-23T12:39:00.001-08:00

" Hey Daryl, can you hear me? This is Ron. I am in idiot!"

Tired of looking like an idiot when you are walking around with your silly Bluetooth ear piece in your ear? Well, have I got some good, nay, Great advice for you. Take it out! You look like an idiot when you walk around the store with it in your ear when it is clear that you are not talking to anyone.

It's 2008, we ALL have cell phones. You don't look cool. You look like a moron.

Look, I don't mean to come down hard on you like this...really, I don't. But I would not be doing my job of offering great advice if I didn't tell you that it's not cool to wear a Bluetooth ear piece when you are not using it. I understand that it is a pretty helpful tool...when someone is on the other line. But when the line is dead, it turns you into a moron.

Even if you are talking to someone, and you're not driving or doing something that leaves your hands too occupied to hold anything, use your phone. You look crazy talking to your self as you walk up and down the isles of your local super market. Just hold your little, light weight phone in your hands so the rest of us know you are not talking to us when you pass and say something stupid like: "Yeah, I'd keep walking too if my back side was that big."

Once you get over you Bluetooth ear mess, we can move on to better things that make you look cool. Like, "Do I tuck it in, or let it all hang out: Shirts, and the standard of tucking."

"Hey, not only do I have really crappy looking 'chops' I have my Bluetooth ear piece in and I aint talkin' to no one."

Going in for the kiss!

2008-11-29T10:25:00.000-08:00

What is the best way to set up a kiss?

Jake-Kaysville UT

I would say with another person, who you like, and likes you back. Then I would make sure that they are facing you so you don't kiss them in the back of the head. If you are just trying to kiss them on the hand, I would make sure you are facing his or her hand. I would make sure, prior to moving in or the hand kiss, that their hand is not covered in dirt, or even worse, dog or baby poop. That will make for a kiss that will leave you gagging every time you think about it after that.
Next, I would pucker your, hopefully ,soft, moist, lips too. It makes more a better kissing experience.
Setting up a kiss is nothing more than being with someone you really like, and likes you back. The mood is right. Your hearts are both pounding wildly as if to beg you to move in for the kill. You slide in closer. You lips are puckered in a puckering fashion. Your eyes will soon close, and WHAMO!!! You've got lip lock baby! If you think about it too much you are bound to make it awkward. Just let it ride my friend.
It's about being together more than anything. You'll see the signs. If she looks at your lips, you know she is eyeing down the prize. If she is looking up at you , you can take that sign to the bank. If you slowly move it, and her head turns away a bit, or her chin gets lowered...ABORT MISSION SOLDIER! Test out the water, make sure she wants to kiss you. Looks for the subtle signs. The looking in the eyes, licking of the lips, chap sticking of the kisser, the moving closer of the face. You'll know.
But remember, if she isn't giving you the signs, I suggest you slow it down a bit son. There is no use planting a kiss prematurely. It will just lead to not kissing those lips again any time soon.
Treat your ladies with respect, and you will find that your lips will be much more productive. Treat your ladies right son, and your lips will thank you. Don't rush, push, or shove it. Make sure she knows that she is what you care about, and the kiss is just a way to show that. If you make her feel like it's all about the kiss, you may as well have a cold sore. TREAT THE LADIES WELL!!! Not only do the deserve that, but you will also find you will have a lot more success in the smooching department.
Now get out there and start kissing!

Hotel legalities.

2008-11-29T10:24:00.000-08:00

Brad,Let us pretend that we are staying in a hotel, and looking for something legal and fun to do. Do you have any ideas?

Jrit and Bess! - Kaysville, UT

There are lots of legal, and fun things you can do. None of which include, running a gambling operation, stealing valuable art, throwing televisions out of the window, or brewing your own beer in the tub.
Did you think about bringing a game of Scrabble? This will lead to hours of fun just "Scrabbling" and laughing with your friends. If you really feel like getting crazy, get a 2 liter bottle of Mountain Dew. I suggest avoiding the Caffeine Free version, as fun it is not. Pretty soon you may find yourself making "shadow puppets" on the wall.
Did you come to this hotel with people who are actually fun? If so, you are off to a good start. If not, well, you should have asked for advice like: "I am going to hotel, should I bring someone who is fun?"
Some of the things that I have done that were the most fun were quite simple...and legal. It's not so much what you do, but how you do it. It is why Corbin "Thorbin" Talley and I have so much fun. In fact, one night in Boise, we found our selves in an all out "Bed war", sliding the bed in front of the bathroom door in hopes one would trip, taking ALL of the bedding off of the bed, taking the mattress and box spring off as well.
If you knew my brother's you will know that if we aren't having fun somewhere, we aren't there at all. Because if we are somewhere, we are having fun... and very few things have ever involved sitting in a Police Cruiser at 3:30 AM, giving fake names, and acting like you are just as confused as the officer is.
Open your mind, and just have fun. Just keep in mind, that other people who paid to stay in the hotel may not think your fun is all that fun. You'll have more fun if you don't tick them off.
In closing, I don't have anything specific for you. It changes with who you are with. You don't need to plan having fun. It's always time to have fun!

Paper or Plastic?

2008-11-29T10:23:00.000-08:00

Brad
At the local grocery store the other day I was posed a question that caused severe inner turmoil. Maybe you can help? I had just finished purchasing some various food items, as well as some feminine hygiene products for my wife. Upon paying for the items the checkout girl posed this question; "Paper or plastic, sir?" What was I to do? I want to help the environment by reducing my petroleum based product consumption but yet I'm terribly frightened of brown paper bags ever since the "flaming bag of poop" incident. Should I conquer my fear and protect Mother Earth or give in to my fears and go with plastic? Any advice would be appreciated wise one.

Sincerely,

Confused in Bakersfield

Oh the memories. who hasn't opened there door to find a paper bag in fire, only to stomp it out to find your once white loafers, are now just loafers.
But your fear needs to be beat. Plastic bags are not only littering our land fills, it takes too long for a plastic bag to break down. Not only that, in Los Angeles, they spend 8 Million dollars annually just cleaning them up. They are on power lines, alleys, you name it. Is that really where you want your tax money going?
But then again, do you really want paper? Bot really take up so much energy to create, let alone resources. Why don't you just buy a reusable bag?
But don't let me get on a high horse, that I don't even have. I do not use reusable bags. Should I? Yes. But, sad to say, as wonderful as I am, I'm just like everyone else..just more wonderful..and have great advice to boot. I typically get plastic as I use them for lots of other things. If I am going some where, and I may run, I put my clothes in a plastic bag. We take them on walks with our dog, so we can clean up after him. With most plastic bags not the best for lighting, it also takes away the temptation of leaving it afire, on your porch.
So this is where we all need to make a decision. Do we want to be a part of the problem? Will we choose the easiest way, thinking other people will make the right decision? Or will we be the one's to start? We don't have to do much to help. Recycle the things that are worth recycling. (That is Aluminum, metals and glass.) Turn your lights off when you are not in the room. A little will go a long way. And if you do these things you can still have your occasional paper bag to fill with Fido's "Loofer" to light on your neighbors lawn. We can't complain about Foreign oil if we're not doing our part. Save a gallon, become a runner.

Sock Purgatory.

2008-11-29T10:22:00.000-08:00

Dear Brad, Every time I do my wash at least one of my socks go missing. Now I have a bunch of unmatching socks. How does this happen, is the "Legend of the Washing Machine Beast who Eats Socks" true?

Emily - Kaysville, UT

Emily, I fear you are not alone in this. I can not begin to tell you how many times I have lost just one sock. There are a few things we can do.
Number one: don't wash your socks any more. This will alleviate any losing of one sock. This will keep the "Washing machine Beast" un-fed, and possibly looking for a new residence to set up shop. But, this may have sour, nay, stinky consequences on your dating life. It may even have stinky consequences with your Non-dating life. It's just like Abraham Lincoln once said while buried neck deep in the Civil War. "No man who doth not wash his socks can win a war. His feet will be too dang smelly to sneak up on the Confederates." He had a point.
Your next option is to find a stream and wash them by hand. This will keep you away from the washing machine beast, and your socks will be clean...sort of. You may go for this option, but, well, this too may have grave consequences on your dating life as you will spend more time at the stream that will that lucky boy, with the great hair, chiseled body, and full lips.
My last piece of advice is to tie your socks together. Yep, in a knot. Or you can even get a mesh bag that you put all of your sock sin and put the whole bag in the washing machine. When my Dad had a locker up in the Weber state Track locker room that is how he did it. He had his bag that he gave the nice fellow washing stuff and his stuff would come back clean, and all there...even his socks.
Good luck with your washing. I am sure you will have two pairs of socks in no time.

Road Running Rage!

2008-11-05T18:56:00.000-08:00

Hey Brad, I haven't been able to run for quite some time, and things are getting weird. There are periods of time that I just can't remember what happened and its scaring me! Also whenever I see someone running by on the street I sometimes turn green and get huge muscles and start smashing buildings (The huge muscles part isn't so bad, but the uncontrollable rage is). What should I do about this? Please help me!

-Cody ,Kaysville UT

I feel your pain Cody! Being injured is one of the worst things I can think of. It is only behind being killed, having my teeth pulled out, having my head smashed beneath a 453 pound boulder, having my tongue pulled out by a squirrel, eating squash, or falling off of a cliff, on my list of crappy things.
You need to embrace the change you go through when you see people run. Smashing buildings is pretty cool. I bet the chicks die for it.
Once you have embraced it, channel it into good energy. Use that same rage on an exercise bike as you X-train yourself back to health. Use that anger to propel you on a bike that will lead to your recovery. Those things will get you back on to the road in no time.
You can be frustrated about your injury and watch other's run. Or you can do something about it, and hit the gym for some X-training. You will still turn green from time to time, but at least you are working on getting back on your feet and running.
If you're not doing anything to get running again, this rage is just a waste of time.

Now go get 'em Hulk!

What makes a great runner?

2008-11-05T18:18:00.000-08:00

Brad,
My question is very simple. What makes a good runner GREAT?

Logan, Kaysville, UT

This is actually a pretty easy answer. First of all, if you are a good runner, you probably already have genetics on your side. Unfortunately you can't coach genetics. You've either got fast genes, or you don't. It would be much easier if we were talking about jeans, instead of genes, as you would be able to go to "Fast Levi's for everyday people" and get yourself some fast jeans.
Hopefully your parents,when they fell in love, just happened to have those genes that are meant for out running wolves. And then when they gave each other that "special hug", they passed those genes on to you. But this is the easy part, as long as you got the proper genes. You can't do anything about this.
The second part you have control over. You have to do the work. You have to put in the miles. You have to out run the wolves, if you will. I have NEVER met a GREAT runner who did not put in the work. I have never met a GREAT runner who didn't do their long runs. There isn't a great runner on this earth that didn't pay the price on the track during intervals.
To be a great runner it needs to go from running being an activity, to running being what you base your day around. Are you getting enough sleep? Are you eating enough food. Are you guzzling enough water? For GREAT runners, running is a priority. Now don't get me wrong, it's not everything. Life needs to be well balanced. This will help your running. You always have to leave yourself time for running down the ladies. Distance running is lonely enough as it is. With out the ladies, it's just plain nutty.
Running isn't a game, like most other sports. It's a chance for you to push yourself. A chance for you to see what you are really made of. It's a chance for you to push yourself further than you ever thought possible, only to push yourself further the next time. It teaches you how to deal with what life throws at you. Once you've run a race as hard as you can, pushing through the pain, and never giving up, there is nothing you can't get through in any other aspect of your life. Learning to run harder when you feel like slowing down is where you earn the real reward.
Another aspect of becoming a great runner is KNOWING you are a GREAT runner. I can promise you no one has ever won a Gold Medal without thinking they could do it. "How do you get this confidence?" You might ask. Did you read the last paragraph of am I writing this to myself? The only way to gain confidence is to put in the work. With out the HARD WORK, you can do all of the mental preparation you want and you'll still look like worn out t-shirt as you race on down the road. I'm sure you've heard the phrase: "The will to win isn't worth a nickel unless you have the will to prepare."
To put it simply, the race is won during the training, long before it is won in a meet. Once you have gotten your body into the best shape it can be in, only then can you hope to become great. It is not rocket science by any means. 1 + 1 =2
Once the work is done, you then can start hoping for everything to come together on race day. Know that even after all of the work, sometimes it won't come together. Some days you just don't have it. Sometimes it too hot, or you injure yourself. You may even come up with a case of the "Oopsy Poopsy's" race morning. That's just the beast of the sport. But realize if you have done the work, there will be more days when everything works out perfectly. You will race your hardest and run faster than you ever imagined. You will feel your hard work paying off. Without putting in the work, these days will never happen. Without the work, you'll NEVER see those days.
The ability to be GREAT is in your hands. Are you going to hit the roads the days you'd rather be watching "Saved by the Bell"? Are you going to push those days on the track when your lungs feel like they are about the burst? Are you going to pull yourself out of bed those dark mornings to meet up with the team for a morning run? Are you going to run down the person in front of you even when the race is not on the line? Are you going to kick to the finish even when no one is watching, and you aren't going to change your position anyway? Are you going to get to bed early when you have a hard workout, or race the next day? Are you going to believe in your hard work? Are you going to push out those thoughts of doubt? Are you going to bow to the pressure or rise to the occasion?
You can do it Logan. You have the drive and ability. You have great coaches who can help you with race strategy, and great work outs. The rest is up to you. Get out and put in the work, and the rest is just details. If you don't train like you are the best runner out there, you never will be.

Help me help you!

2008-11-03T14:21:00.000-08:00

Every one needs help...well except for me. Wait, I take that back. I need help helping you. If you don't send me your problems I can't help you. And if I don't help you there is a pretty good chance your life will fall apart. And no blame can be put on me because of your lack of asking for help.
Hey, you trust me right? You know I know what's best for you. so why do you push me away like you do? That is a sign of someone who really needs my help. So come on, throw that question. "Should I put on Ketchup or Mustard first?" "Do I rub his feet even though he has athletes foot?" "Should I hang up that poster of the new "90210" cast or not?"
Come on people, this is your chance to not let your life go all to crap.

Official "Don't be an idiot day"!

2008-10-24T08:26:00.001-07:00

I was informed that today, October 24th is the official "Don't be an idiot day". an din keeping with the spirit of not being an idiot, I will give a few suggestions to not be an idiot.

Don't touch a pan with your finger to see if it is hot. That would be an idiotic thing to do. Use an ice cube dummy.
When you are frustrated with yourself for being an idiot, don't do another stupid thing like hitting yourself in the head while saying "I'm an idiot." People around you already know you are an idiot, but hitting your head just leaves you open to hurting yourself even more.
Do not use you bare arm as a landing perch for a bird of prey. It might look cool to any one observing, but for you it will hurt like no other. Don't be dumb.
Look both ways before you cross the street. If you're not an idiot, this does not apply. If you are asking yourself"Why?", then email me and I'll explain.
Remember: DON"T BE AN IDIOT!

Ready to race.

2008-10-19T09:58:00.000-07:00

Hey Brad,

So I am going to be running my first 10k in about 3 weeks in San Antonio for Division II South Central Regionals. Do you have any advice for me, like eating and how to get ready mentally? Hook a brother up!-

Tyson Portales, NM/Morgan

Thank you for your question Tyson. Running is very near and dear to my heart. My best advice would be :"Run faster than everyone else." That is a sure way to secure a victory. Get out fast, look around you, identify the leader and stay in front of them. If you can keep the rest of the runners behind you, I am pretty confident you will win the race.
But if that is not the advice you are looking for here are a few other suggestions. First of all; don't sweat it. I know you have been training hard, and hitting your long runs. If you have done all of this, you will be just fine. There isn't a whole lot you can do after you have put in the work. That is one of the great things about running.
With it being a 10K, you need to later your pace just a little. Just don't get caught up running too slowly. If you've done your long runs you will handle the longer distance just fine. Focus on every 2 miles instead of every mile. This will keep you from focusing on the longer distance.
As far as eating, eat what you have been eating. It's no time to invent a new morning breakfast, that could leave you running to the Port-o-John instead of the finish line. Don't load of on a ton of food the night before, but make sure you get your fuel. food is your friend when you are running.
Now that you have done the work, and eaten the right food, all you need to do is the mental aspect. What is your goal. That is what you need to know. If you have no goal, it is hard to run your best. What are you trying to do? Is there a certain time? A certain place? What? Identify that and make a race plan. what are your strengths? Where can you shave off some time. Do you get out too slowly? Do you slow down in the middle of the race? Find where you can shave some time off and focus on that. If you do slow down in the middle mile or miles, focus on them. When you hit the 2 mile mark, think to yourself: "I really need to focus the next 2 or 3 miles. They are easy miles to to pick up some unwanted seconds. Runners often get in a rut during the middle mile or miles of races. Being aware of that and trying to keep out of that rut will keep you on the right track. when I run a 5K, I just try to stay steady the first mile. It's the second mile that I try to start moving up. The first and last mile usually take car of themselves. I try to keep from getting out too fast. And the last mile I'm just trying to get to the finish as quickly as possible.
So what I am saying is: Know what you are trying to accomplish, and know how you can give yourself the best opportunity to do that. Think through a few race scenarios. What if they get out really fast? What if I'm still in a pack with 800 meters to go. What if I break away? Know what you will do.
My lats piece of advice is decide where you are going to kick, and KICK there. I suggest picking somewhere that has a visual reminder. (ie, a telephone pole, a garbage ca, a side walk, etc.) Tell yourself that is the latest you will kick, NO MATTER WHAT. When you are tired you will wait until the last minute to kick. Have your body ready to kick then, no matter who tired you are. Your brain will help you out if you have decided you will do it.
In closing, remember you have done the work, so you don't have a lot to worry about. You have done everything you can control. You can't control the other stuff, so don't worry about them. You have put yourself in the best position to succeed. Find confidence in that. Everything else is just details.
Good luck pal! Let me know how you do.

NEW ADVICE COMING SOON!

2008-10-19T09:57:00.000-07:00

Stay tuned! New advice is on the way!

Skorts or No Skorts?

2008-10-05T09:36:00.001-07:00

Hey Brad,
So I've been seeing a lot about running skirts lately and wondering if I should get one. I don't know what to think about them. Some people say they are really comfy and "flirty" and others say they aren't for the sport and a pain. I don't like skirts, but I don't like running just in my spandex. What do you think?

Mari, Kaysville

Well, I would never wear one. They are pretty feminine. I just don't think I could pull it off. In the Winter I will wear half tights. (Spandex), but I'm not so sure I could pull the whole, Skort thing off. say all you want about comfort, but I think I would be too self conscience to wear one.
As for you, well, it's your choice. I know several people who want one. Word on the street is that they are comfortable. I guess they don't ride up. So if that is an problem, get a pair.
You can always get a pair, and see what you think. If you don't like it, be glad you only bought one pair. If you do like it, be even more happy that you tried it.
I'm still into traditional running shorts. But that's what I am used to people wearing. But remember, people used to be go over the High Jump bar front wards. Now that has all changed, and you would think it was funny if someone didn't go over backwards. It's not about what other people think.
I still wear the short, split side running shorts. Why? Because I am awesome, and it is what awesome people do. And because they are by far the most comfortable, as far as I am concerned.
So take the plunge, you'll never know unless you try them out. Pretty soon all of the naysayers may be Yea-Sayer's. And they will owe their new found style to you. A day may be named after you. You could be on a stamp. A made for T.V movie could be made. "The Woman who yelled 'Skort'.; the Mari story". and the list goes on and on. But you'll never know until you head to Striders (www.stridersrunning.com) and get a pair. Tell them Brad sent you.

Undies rash!

2008-09-29T13:36:00.001-07:00

Hey Brad!
I am having riding problems with my undies, what kind should I wear to avoid this rashy predicament?

Derek - Kaysville,UT

Undies are something that must be chosen wisely. First of all, I am going to just assume you are wearing boys under wear. If not, do, and problem solved.
Have you also considered that it may not be the undies fault, but your lack of buttocks that may be the issue. This can be helped though. I have no butt either, so rest assured that life can still be great.
Now, if you are a wearer of briefs, you are on your own. I don't think I've worn briefs since 4th grade. I'm a boxer man myself. But it doesn't end there. All boxers are not created equal. I am very picky when it comes to this arena.
My preference is Calvin Klein. In Boxers that is. The fabric is the perfect thickness, the waste band, oh so nice, and the fit is intriguing, yet comfortable and familiar. Ralph Lauren boxers of the 2008 year have also made me smile. The last Polo boxers I got were in 2006. The fit was okay, but not like Calvin Klein's. The fabric was knit too tightly, as far as I was concerned. Tommy Hilfiger boxers are pretty good, but it's their boxer briefs that have captured my heart. But all in all, Is till prefer boxers, way over boxer briefs. No ride, nice fit, relaxed vibe, and no rash.
Nautica is okay, but I don't I will travel that road again. I save them for days I feel like having a crappy day.
Boxers are like High Thread count sheets. Once you've got higher, you just can't come back down. I used to wear Eddie Bauer, and The Gap, but now, they feel like 25 thread count sheets. If you want to play the game, you have to be all in. If not, your life will be miserable forever more.
Button, or no button on the fly is personal preference. It is the fit and fabric that you have to be sold on.
The last item is design, color and pattern. Though it will do nothing for the rash, it will help you feel like a million bucks. You're not a kid anymore son, leave the cartoon characters on your nephews roos. Are you ready to take the step? The step that will lead you into the arena where fashion and comfort meet, "I'm one bad dude, and comfortable too"? Take the step.

p.s. You can also try baby powder. It will keep you dry and rash free as well. It worked wonders for our babies.

"Housekeeping!"

2008-09-27T20:03:00.000-07:00

Brad,

I've got a problem. I'm sitting here in my hotel room in Ohio. I just raced an 8k this morning and my flight doesn't leave until 5:20pm. We're leaving the hotel at 3:30, in a couple hours to go to the airport. The usual check-out time is noon, I think, so the problem comes as I keep getting Room Service knocks at my door expecting me to be gone! The first couple times it was fine and they were apologetic, but now I think they are getting annoyed as I continue to answer their knocks. Should I continue to answer their knocks or just let them come in and discover that I'm still here?

Lindsey - Ogden, UT

Could it be that you secretly want them walking in over and over? Perhaps you were lonely and this brief encounter made you feel better. Much like people that call for time and temperature over and over just to hear a voice other than their own.
If it is loneliness that is keeping you answering the door over and over I suggest either bringing a friend or calling someone from time to time. Heck, you can even try your best to meet some friends. Though I know these short relationships may be a bit superficial, it will still help with your problem.
Another thing you could do is yell something like: "I'm in here!!!" as loudly as you can. Use a low voice that is slightly raspy. Throw in any of your proffered profanities for emphasis if you'd really like them to get the point. Add them as the knocking continues.
But then again, the easiest thing to do would be put the "Do not disturb" sign on your door. I do that anytime I go on business just to keep anyone from coming in when I am gone. I'd hate to come back and see that my socks had been rummaged through. Try it, it may work magic!

Random advice!

2008-09-27T10:10:00.000-07:00

1. If you are ever running a race, playing in a basketball game, soccer game...but still especially a race, triple tie your shoes. Don't be that ding bat that people have to say: "Hey, you're shoe's untied."
There are enough things in races that can slow you down. don't let it be something you can control. It is far better to have to use a fork to untie your shoes than to run slower because you're shoe laces are whipping to and fro, or need to stop mid-race to tie them.

2. If someone says: "Yuck, this stinks so badly." Trust them. You don't need to smell it confirm the stunkedness (My own word) of what they are smelling. Have you ever been glad you did? NO! So don't do it. No one likes smelling stinky things. You know it's going to smell, so don't do it. I repeat, Don't do it!

3. Don't waste your money on Pseudo-Science. You know that unbelievable cure for whatever ales you? It's probably just that, unbelievable. Ever wonder why this amazing cure must be sold on late night infomercials, through a Multi-level; market, or out of a magazine? Probably because it's BS! If you ever have a question check www.quackwatch.com
Don't be that sucker at the next family party that everyone is talking about because you ate "Viper Minerals XTS" for lunch instead of actual food, or you are wearing a hat with magnets in it. Now take it from a true cyber-friend...don't be a sucker!

4. When you are mad, don't hit things in anger. It won't make you feel better, and typically you end up hurting yourself and thinking: "Why in the Sam hill did I slap my duggum hand on that there table?" Seriously, has it ever helped ANY problem? I truly doubt it. You know you will end up regretting it, so don't do it.
You'll just feel sheepish when, for the next 10 days, when people ask why your hand is bandaged you have to say: "I hit a wall because I was mad." They will be left thinking: "What'd ya do that for?"

Who'd win?

2008-09-24T15:54:00.000-07:00

Hey Brad, Now here is the scenario, Batman, one day, was out fighting crime in his usual dark way, and saw the beautiful, redheaded Mary Jane and instantly fell deeply in love with her. Spiderman noticed this and became enraged with jealousy. He got a little physical with Batman and the fight began. What do you think the outcome would be? Who do I cheer for? And if you don't mind, I would appreciate a detailed description of the fight.

Joe-Fruit Heights

It's always nice to see dudes fighting over girls. I never did it, but it looked like a lot of fun. I was much more of a lover than a fighter. I prefer to swell my lips through kisses, not fists.

But let's look at the outcome. Batman is walking down the street when he sees a hot babe. He thinks to his bat self: "That gal with redish hair is one fine lady. I think I shall bring my bat body over there to say 'hi'." Now, across the way is a man in tights, who goes by the name of Spiderman is looking down upon this exchange of pleasantries between his girlie, and his Bat buddy, known to as Batman.
Spider man has a pretty bad temper. It was first noticed when he was shorted some change at Big 5, and he webbed the section of the store where the low end Weight machines sit. It was a "webby" mess. The manager had to come out to settle down Spiderman, but Spider man, using his Spider like abilities, had climbed to the ceiling of the store. The manager looked around for 2 or 3 minutes before giving up and going back to his small office that sits in the southwest corner of the warehouse. After the manager, named Skip, by the way, had left, Spidey jumped down and webbed the crap out of the vending machines near the exit. He did it all out of spite too.
Spiderman, mad about Batty getting all up in his love grill swung over to Batman and said: "'Sup fool?"
Batman, looking some what surprised answered: "Nuttin'?"
"Nuttin'?" Spider man questioned. "What kind of Bat does nuttin'?"
""Well, to be honest I'm not a bat." Batman clarified. "I'm just a guy who wears this bat costume. Well, it's not a bat costume, per se', but it's an outfit to make people think I'm part bat, part man. I have no magical powers. It's just a human who is being exceptional if you get my gig."
"Oh so now you are all 'I'm a normal man not a creepy bat'." Spider man replied using a girlie voice when acting as if he is quoting the Batman. "You think you're better than me punk?"
"No sir!" Batman politely replied, and turned and grinned at his new love.
No sooner had Batty turned his head and he was hit in his fake Bat Ears with a wad of web. It knocked him slightly to the right, causing him to nearly lose his balance and step in some chewed gum that some inconsiderate person had spat to the road earlier. It wasn't long ago enough to harden so Batman was lucky that his Bat feet steered clear.
"Whatcha do that for Spider man?" Batman asked, again in a surprised manner.
Without replying Spiderman webbed more web at Batman. But Batman was ready. He whipped out his Bat-Baton and blocked the flying wad of web. He shouted back. "My suit is rubber, your webs are like glue. I bounced it off of my Bat-Baton and it's sticking to your stupid mask made of cloth."
Spidey tried to climb the wall, but Batman was too clever and too strong for the man in tights. He deployed his Batman zip line and shot to the top, way ahead of Spiderman. By the time Spidey hit the roof Batman was there with a milkshake made from Whoop tushy. He sure let that Spider guy have it. Spiderman was like: "Wha' happened?"
He tried with all of his Spider might to turn to the fight in his favor, but this Bat of a man was too much for him. By the time the smoke, webs, and dust had settled Spider man was lying on his back making funny noises. They were so strange that I can not even begin to describe them in type.
So to answer your question, and to give you some advice. Cheer for Batman. He is my favorite of the super heroes for one reason...he has no super natural powers. He is the common man. He didn't need to gain special powers to become great. We can all relate to him much better than any Super or Spider man. We all have a little Batman inside of us. All you need is a reason, and you too can be great. Forget being bitten by a Spider. Forget coming from another planet. All you need is hard work, and courage to be great! Nothing more. Of course, a Bat mobile would be helpful! And that sweet Baterang.

COMMENTS?

The Greatness of Girls!

2008-09-23T20:48:00.000-07:00

Dear Brad, Some of us girls have a problem. We know that we are incredibly strong and tough, not to mention good looking and fast. What could possibly be our problem??? Well, we are afraid that we are intimidating the boys. How do we let them know that beneath all of our awesomeness we are just ordinary girls?

~ KT, Meg, M, and Jewels (Davis County...where all the awesome girls are from!)

Ladies! Ladies! Calm down. First you have to realize a few things. Intimidating boys is just fine. Never let them think that you aren't all of those great qualities. See, Boys are idiots. Yep, pure, stone cold, head to toe, idiots. And when it comes to the opposite sex it gets even worse.
You are not ordinary girls. You are Cross Country runners! Not only that, but you are really good Cross Country runners. From what I hear in the hallways you guys are pretty good lookin' too. And all of this while the other teams are ugly...and presumably taking last. These boys of which you talk are more awe struck than anything else. How do they speak to such running goddesses?
It's like my Uncle Kenneth used to say. "I am diabetic, but that in no way means I can't sneak myself a snicker-doodle once and again." It wasn't a very good saying, as far as this goes, but it is still a saying. It meant that even though he is diabetic, sometimes he can eat snicker-doodles. I hope I cleared that up.
Maybe a saying that is more appropriate would be: "Boys know they are going to screw any relationship up, so sometimes it's better to watch thy beauty than let thy beauty hate thee." I wish with all of my heart someone had once said that. It would have been fitting for this section of advice.
My main advice is; who cares what these boys think? If they are intimidated by you guys than they are not man enough to have you. Stay strong, and cower to no one. Keep being awesome, and one day you will be able to find a fellow, who will most assuredly be a runner, who can handle every bit of the amazing, tough, awesomeness that you all possess. You are lucky you have coaches that have taught you to be so cool!

No Funny Money!

2008-09-23T17:25:00.000-07:00

During these turbulent economic times I was wondering where I should put my money. Should I diversify and put my money in the mattress as well as buried in the back yard? Anyway, I would appreciate any advice that you could offer.

--David _ Bakersfield, CA

Yes, diversification is what you should do. But why just stop with the mattress and a hole? Also, let's look at your options and see what is best. I don't want you to be a Money Dummy, as I like to say to people who are financial idiots. Keep your Money you dummy, and let that money make life funny. But not funny as in: "Ha ha you lost all of your money." More of a "Ha ha, I have so much money that I can buy Chinese Finger traps, and 'Whoopee cushions' to play gags on my unsuspecting friends. Boy is this vast amount of money a hoot!"

I understand why a hole in the yard would be appealing to you. But let me tell you a story. One day, my brother Scott thought it would be a swell idea to make a time capsule. He filled several plastic baggies with mementos like pictures, notes, pennies, and such. He then put these baggies inside other baggies. He then put the baggies inside other baggies inside a metal box safe guarded by a combination lock, keeping anyone who wants those goodies inside the baggies inside of the baggies out unless they knew the combination. Then he put it in a shoe box, and buried deep, deep in the dirt. And when I say deep I'm not saying 3 inches. I mean like 8 inches. Fast forward a few years and he digs the pile of stuff up. Inside, he found that they stuff had turned to Gold. And he used that gold to buy a lot of cool stuff like "Volta tron's". Which are Trons that are powered by Volts. Oh, wait that is another story. Actually all of the stuff had withered away to a pile of slush. All of his stuff that was worth tens of cents was now worth nothing. The moral, baggies don't do crap.

I see no fault in your plan to hide money beneath your mattress. It's a solid, safe place to hide crap. The return on your money will be...let me calculate this...carry the 1...times 4 to the 5th power...nothing. But I'm sure you will be very safe once people know you hide money beneath your mattress. People respect ones private space.

Have you thought about putting some in your gym socks? You will have to be vigilant to take them out of your sock socks prior to a good washing, but that should be easy, especially if you put coins in there, as they could become uncomfortable over time. No one knows how to protect your money more than you. And the stink your bills will surely acquire will be enough to keep you from frivolous spending as the embarrassment will be enough to keep your cash put.

My last piece of advice is a long shot. Get with a Financial planner who knows what they are doing and make your money work for you. I don't mean work as in mowing your lawns, although that is a plus if the return is just as good. Not only will they know where to put it in order to protect your money, but they will help you navigate your financial future so you will always have money, that doesn't smell like stinky gym shoes mind you, for a rainy day. It is where I put my money, as so far it has been a dream come true. I know 3 good looking, Harrison Ford like fellas that can help you out. In fact, they are in your area. Let them help you!

http://www.waconsultinginc.com/

Now go ride that Bull Market David!

Stud Wonder!

2008-09-21T17:37:00.001-07:00

Brad, I found myself in a conversation on the bus with some of my fellow teammates about you.... We were wondering, how did you become such a stud? Were you born this way? Or did you just wake up one morning and found out? Thanks!
Colin - Kaysville, UT

Hey Brad, I was just wondering how did you get to be so cool? Did you just wake up one day and BAM! you were cool, or was it a process. I need some tips so that I can be a never ending source of awesomeness too.

Cody-Kaysville, Utah

Both of these are very good questions. One day, when I was, oh, say 12 years old, I was talking on the phone to my good friend Ryan. As we talked, we got into such topics as Football, The California Angels, Sheep, and the losing of their tails after an elastic is put on it, Sand box troubles, and white synthetic leather couches. I can recall Ryan trying to figure out why some girls have long hair and some girls have short hair. We were twelve, so you can understand the head shakes, and eye rolls I was giving over the phone. I finally cut the call short when Mom told me she had made rice pudding. Mmmm, I gots to eats my rice pudding.

This conversation led to nothing about why I am such a stud. That started a few years before...I think. In fact, it never really started, I've just always been this way. why? Well, it's just how things are. So in a way I just woke and and BAM, I was a stud, but in a way it started long before that.

See, when two people love each other there is a special hug they give. And if all of the magic is right, a baby is born out of this love and magic. In my case, the magic was replaced with Stud, and Cool Dude. This may have a lot to do with why I don't believe in anything magical. I'm pure Stud and special hug.

Of course, having great friends like Corbin "The Man of Fire" Talley as your friend helps. It is much easier to be a stud if you surround yourself with people you want to be like. It's easy being a stud when you are around the type of people that make you feel good. The kind that make it easy to have fun. If you want to be a stud, then be a stud. What are the qualities you think studs posses. If it is being nice to people, then be nice to people. Being a stud is a full time job. Even after I go home at night I have to hear: "Hey Stud do you want some fajitas for dinner? ""Stud man, how 'bout you pick what we watch on T.V." "King stud-alicious can I get you anything?"Or "Stud Dad, I'm gonna be a stud too when I grow big right?"

You need to realize that you may already be a stud. You just need to know it, or like I do, tell people you are. Soon enough people started believing me. Next thing I know I was a full fledged stud, with a stud alert updates coming to me via email 6 to 12 times a day. It was a Roller coaster of sorts at first, but once I got settled in to the Stud life it has been smooth sailing, less the Stud Conventions where I have to sign autographs, take pictures, and meet and greet. And one time, at one such convention, I had to do a Power point presentation on ow "Studliness is next to Awesomeness". It is true. They are close in nature, but I did point out the subtle differences. It's true, like me, that you pour over into the other, but still, they aint the same thing, except that they both possess the uncanny ability to snap, and whistle. (Don't think that just because you snap and whistle you are there. I should just send the Power Point.)

In closing, being a stud is what you make of it. Be with the people that bring out your inner stud. You're not a stud until you realize you are. Soon enough, people will catch on, and Whamo, you are the stud you long to be.

Now go and be a stud!

COMMENTS?

I'm too sexy!

2008-09-18T20:02:00.000-07:00

Hey Brad, I have a problem very similar to Brian’s. It is only reversed. You see all these really beautiful girls, some on the cross country team, some not, have placed me on that very same pedestal that Brian has placed his woman on. You see I try talking to them and they give me a nervous look and talk in just the sweetest hushed voice. I just know that they are more outgoing than that, maybe they are just stunned at my rugged physique, I don’t know, but I just don’t want all this awkwardness and to be able to talk to them like really good friends. What should I do?

Derek "The Gally" - Kaysville, UT

Derek my son, you are in a very tough spot. You are as Derek Zoolander would say, "Really, really, ridiculously good looking." I have seen your physique. I had been meaning to ask you if Zeus were your father. I thought maybe you and Thor-bin were brother's.
If you want to get off of this pedestal, you need to learn to fall my son. Quit flexing when you sharpen your pencil. Stop making your butt muscles pulse in and out while you use the drinking fountain. These things have been proven to drive the ladies nuts. You are not going to a gun show, so wear something other than tank tops. All that is doing is making the girlie's nervous to talk to you. You look so manly, and strong, and awesome.
Next, lay off of the Red Bull. It's given you so much energy. Like the other day when you tried to pen that metal door, but you crushed it instead. Again, it's a driver of crazy girls.
Now let's focus on the studly things you say. Instead of saying: "Excuse me, but do my muscles make me look fat?" Say: "I'm just a normal dude under all of this muscle. Wanna feel my pectorals?" Instead of: "Doggone it, this is the third shirt I've torn today by flexing." Say "Ah, this doggone shirt aint no good if it rips when these huge muscles enlarge. It's tough being tough."
Pretty soon the ladies will feel more comfortable with you. But first you need to be comfortable with yourself. If you don't love you for what you are, how can they? It is easy to tell if some one is proud of who they really are. Don't become a wimp just for the girls. Make them love the "Muscle Head" you truly are. I've given you some suggestions, but now the tough part is up to you.

Now go and flex some more.

COMMENTS?

I can't talk to her.

2008-09-15T20:46:00.000-07:00

Hey Brad there is this girl and she's is just fine. She's on the soccer team and to me soccer chicks are among the worlds finest besides cross country runners of course. Well she's a shy girl but she is way gorgeous and I can't talk to her cause I'm afraid of being rejected or her thinking I'm weird. I mean this girl is like "wow man I'm not worthy so show mercy" beautiful. What should I do to talk to her.

Brian- Kaysville

Well Brian, you got one thing straight. Runner's are the hottest girls. I have said that my whole life. Well, maybe not my whole life, but since I started to get to know runners. And it's not just their looks. It take one fine woman to run hard, sweat, and still smile.

But soccer chicks are a close second. It's all in the soccer style my man. It's dope. I chased many a soccer chick in my day. But in the end, I fell the hardest for a runner.

Your first problem you have is that you have put her up so high on a pedestal that you don't think you can get up there. Well my son, today is the day you are going to learn to climb, or at least chop down a pedestal. She may be the most beautiful girl in the world, but she is still just a girl. Why aren't you worthy? All you've done by putting her so high on that pedestal is keep yourself from trying. It's like running dear friend. You'll never beat someone you don't think you can beat. Same goes for the lady folk. You won't end up with a girl you don't think you should end up with.

I'm going to give you a little homework. This week I need you to rent, and watch a few movies.
1: Some Kind of Wonderful. (One of my all time favorite's)
2: Dead poet's Society. ("Damn it Neil, it's Nuwanda." That was my brother and my saying when we were going after a girl. You hear it in the movie.)
3: Say anything.
4: Mystery Date.

Hopefully you can draw some inspiration. I know I drew some inspiration from these fine flicks.

Now all you need to do is talk to her. What is she interested in? Talk to her about that. Ask about soccer. Ask her about herself. People love talking about themselves whether they admit it or not. If you want a conversation to go well, just be yourself. Find out what she likes. What classes she likes, etc. It's like running in so many ways. If you want to be a good runner you have to run. It really is that simple. If you want to be able to talk to her, you have to talk to her. I am sure you will find that she is really down to Earth, and will enjoy your conversation. You don't have to get deep right off. Just say "Hi".
I would usually start off by saying "Hi". Then joking around with them a little. Before you know it their guard is down and you've got a one way ticket to "Lover Boy, USA". Just start with saying "Hello". Once you are there, the hardest part is done. You don't have to solve her problems or anything. Just talk to her.

Let's wrap this up pal, if you want to be able to talk to her, than talk to her. Let's just say it goes terribly awry, and you say something that blows it. (Of course this will not happen...trust me.) So you don't talk with her again. You're where you are now...not talking to her. But say you start talking, and everything works out great and you take her out, and take her to prom, and then get engaged, and then get married, and have 347 kids, and become a millionaire. Okay, okay I'm getting a head of myself. But the point is, NOTHING will happen if you don't talk to her. You've got nothing to lose. It's like Wayne Gretzky once said: "You miss one hundred percent of the shots you don't take." ( I know, if you tear it apart it doesn't make sense, but what he means is you will never score if you don't shoot.) Don't miss out on her because you never tried.
I really want to know how it goes. And bring me a picture and I'll tell you if you should go for her any way.
And here's a song for you!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UfHijcxit6M

Now go and speak some more.

COMMENTS?

The Cookie Dunk!

2008-09-15T20:17:00.000-07:00

Ok Brad, I have a dilemma (first of all I can't spell, but that's a different story...). I like to have my milk and cookies for a snack every now and then, but the problem is I don't know what Kind is best! When I was a wee tot my favorite cookie hands down was the Oreo, but now that I am older and wiser I have grown more fond of the chips deluxe. I need to know which kind of cookie is the best to perfect the milk and cookie experience. Please help me.

Cody-Kaysville, Utah

Cody, you have asked about something that is very near and dear to my heart. I love cookies and milk. I love them so much I actually thought about marrying them. But find a state where that's legal.
Your dilemma is nothing new to the world of dilemmas. In fact, this dilemma was had by such greats as, President Roosevelt, Lee Iaccoca, John Bon Jovi, Edgar Allen Poe, Paul Reuben's, Brett Barrera, Art Monk, Andre the Giant, and The fast talking Micro Machine man, just to name a few. What to dip? What to dip?
Let's break them down shall we. Oreo's. Mmmmmm a very fine treat. I love them. in fact, I thought about marrying them...wait...did I already tell you that? They are truly delicious, but for me, probably the wisest person sitting in my office right now, doesn't like to dip them. They just don't have the "dipability" that other cookies have. And what's with that blackness in your teeth? It hasn't been since the Dark ages that blackness in teeth was seen as something noble, or even close to what as suitor was looking for. They are delicious, yes this is true, but they carry too much baggage to be named a favorite among favorites.
Chips Deluxe? Sure, they are a worthy opponent of the Oreo, but still fall short of the Oreo goodness found in the Oreo cookie. They are "Chippy", if you are into more chips than your sweet tooth can tolerate. They are head and shoulders over the Oreo in the dunkness department. But they're small, and don't absorb milk like I need when dipping. I need that cooking to be at one with my skim milk. They need to, nearly, dance with one another as they dip in an out of my glass. It must be as if the are serenading me as I eat.
Now I know we have look at the pros and cons of each cookie treat, but what kind of advicateer (Here's some advice: make up your own words. It's fun.)would I be if I didn't show you what a true cookie is. I am about to give you the recipe that my beautiful cookie making wife will make for me when I need a belly full of cookie. I may have you over some time to dunk a few for yourself. The one thing that the recipe does not mention is all of the love she puts into it, and not to mention how good she looks cooking them.

Brad's dunktastic cookies for dunking in dunkable skim milk.

1 cup Shortening
1 cup brown sugar
1 cup white sugar
2 eggs (Preferably chicken eggs, though Snake or gator eggs work too.)
1 tsp Vanilla
1 1/2 Cup flour
1 tsp Salt (Or less if desired.)
1 tsp Soda (Not soda pop ya ding bat.)
3 cup Rolled oats

Cream shortenings and sugars. Add eggs and Vanilla. Beat well. Sift flour, soda, and salt. Add to creamed mixture. Stir in rolled oats. Roll into small balls; place on cookie sheet, and flatten with a glass. Bake at 350 degrees for about 8 to 10 minutes, or until lightly brown.

Try these with skim milk and your dunking questions will subside. My preference is 5 to 6 cookies, and more and you will be a fat, fat man. Good thing you are a trim runner. You could use a few cookies.
Please let me know how it goes.

As for spelling; you did just fine. Yu r a gud spelr. Dont let peeple tel yu yur not a gud spelr. if thay do thay ar dum peeple who dont spel no gud.

Now go and dunk some more!

QUESTIONS?

I had a scary pee last night..

2008-09-15T10:38:00.001-07:00

Advice needed 1500 miles away from Brad Anderson World Headquarters. I keep having a re-occurring dream that results in me wetting the bed. It involves the Smith family basement, a wooden leg, old tools, and "IT." Do you have any suggestions for overcoming such night terrors?

John H. - Indiana

The first thing you need to realize is that your cousins are pretty awesome. Every thing you saw in that basement was real. There was no acting going on down there. Just be happy that Wade has to deal with it now. There is still an old lady in the closet at the end of the hall. She is still in that wheelchair, and that old man in Grandpa's overalls still lives beneath the stairs. The only reason we never were scared is because we befriended them. We gave them Peanut M & M's from the upstairs closet, "Honey Smacks" from the cereal cupboard, and Tab from the down stairs storage room. We also, from time to time, heated them up a Totino's pizza from the big freezer in the laundry room.
Where you need to find solace is in the fact that you are now miles away. It will take that old lady months to wheel her self to your house. In her age, I doubt she would be able to find it anyway. And un-less Wade told her, she doesn't even know where you live.
Now the guy with the wooden leg is a different story. He has a car. He could get there in a few days. But relax, he (His name's Roger by the way) found a job at "Harts", and he'd rather help fill a "Big Dipper" than kill little kids. Last time I saw him he said: "Sure killing people in Ralph and Mabel's basement was fun. I've got a lot of good memories there. The screaming, the crying, you name it. But I've moved on. That killing just didn't pay the bills like I had hoped."
See John, you have no reason to be scared. The bed wetting is actually just a bladder problem. Make sure you go potty before bed time. Lay off of the "Big Dipper's" at night. And if your body tells you it's pee pee time, then you better listen to it and go to the potty.

What to say?

2008-09-15T10:37:00.001-07:00

Brad-

I like to think that I am somewhat beautiful, but when I am around the fairer sex, I am at a loss for words. I might say something wrong, something stupid or something offensive without even knowing it. What should I do about this dilemma?

Joe-Fruit Heights

Well friend, first I must say that Somewhat Beautiful does not cut it. A work of art is more like it. So you are good to go in that department.
You need to realize a few things before we go any further. Though girls are the fairer sex, they will chew you up and spit you out faster than you can say: "Advice please!" Try as you might, but brother, they are like a mine field. I've lost many "limbs of love" walking, carefully at times, through the battlefield we call love. If the fairer sex weren't so wonderful I would tell you to run away as fast as possible.
As far as being at a loss of words...well, I would enjoy that. Nothing is better than being in the presence of a girl so beautiful you can't say anything. It happens to me every time I come home from work. (If my wife's home. If she's not then I have all kinds of things to say like: "Anyone home?" or "Where is everyone?") When you finally pick your jaw up off of the ground, just ask about what's going on. Act like it's your friend. How do you talk to a girl you know really well?
The other problem you might be having is you are trying to hard. You don't need to think about what to say. Just be yourself. You're a cool guy. (And if I think you're cool, you are on the right track. I said the phone was cool, and look where it is now.) If I had learned that earlier I wouldn't have waited until I was 7 to start kissing Valerie Nichols. I would have started at 6, for sure. Be yourself and suave things like: "Hey ladies!", "Any up for a little Joe tonight?", or "Toot toot, all aboard the Joe train. Next stop Love Land!" You know, things chicks dig!
I don't think I could count how many people, when they got older, thought: "You know, I would have had such better luck if I had just been myself." If you spend too much time trying to be what you THINK they want, you'll end up waving as she sails off on her honeymoon cruise. (You're waving because she married some other dude...if you didn't catch that the first time.)
It's true that you should realize that you are not in the guys locker room when you talk with girls. But it shouldn't be too much work. But if you try to b something you are not you won't be happy anyway. I suggest being yourself, and find a fair young maiden who likes you for you. Life is hard enough. It's a lot easier getting through it as yourself.
In closing, we all end up saying stupid things. I said my fair share. Laugh it off. Most girls like a guy who can laugh at his self. Remember, you remember the embarrassing moments more than other people. In fact, give it a week and you are the only person who will ever think about it again. I know it's a lot easier to look back and say: "Man I was dumb." So take some advice from someone who has been there, and done stupid things. Don't waste your time being what you are not. Let the ladies love Joe! (Not that other guy.)
Now get out there and get some battle scars.

Your future double life!

2008-09-14T13:29:00.000-07:00

Brad, I hate to ask the same question as Carlee... But I've been leaning towards becoming an FBI agent. It sounds pretty cool to me, kind like a real life James Bond. I know its not the same as you would see in the movies, but it still sounds pretty sweet, what do you think about this?

Logan - Kaysville, UT

I would love you being in the FBI. I will use you to spy on people for me. If someone cuts me off while driving, or yells something stupid like: "Hey put some clothes on" when I am running I will give you their license plate, and you can have them disappear if you know what I mean.
It will be great! I'll be able to speed when ever I want. When I am pulled over I will give them the secret hand shake you taught me that tells the cops "I'm with Logan".
To think of all of the cool things Corbin and I will surely be able to do is enough to make me get giddy with excitement. We'll have you sneak into Weber State and change our college records. I always wanted to be a 4.0 student.
But you being able to "Off" the people that bug me is by far the best thing about you being a secret agent.
If you want to be an agent for the FBI, I think that is great. I would do some research as to what it entails. There can be a lot of paper work. And a lot of things that are not that exciting. Jobs that are more exciting, inside of the FBI, could take you away from your family a lot. But if it is your passion, and it will make you happy, by all means, go for it. I think it could bring a lot of excitement and danger. Much more danger than I care to encounter. Any more danger than accidentally getting hot sauce in my eye opening a packet at Taco Bell keeps my adrenaline flowing.
If it is something you really want to do, start preparing now. You will go through series after series of back ground checks. Nearly everyone you know will be interviewed. But you will have nothing to worry about.

There are a few things that will knock you out, right off the bat, if you can't pass. It's good to know the minimum requirements so you know if you should even waste your time. Here they are.

You must:
*be a U.S. citizen, or a citizen of the Northern Mariana Islands.
*be at least 23 and not have reached your 37th birthday on appointment.
*be completely available for assignment anywhere in the FBI's jurisdiction.
*have uncorrected vision not worse than 20/200 (Snellen) and corrected 20/20 in one eye *and not worse than 20/40 in the other eye.
*pass a color vision test.
*meet hearing standards by audiometer test.
*possess a valid driver's license.
*be in excellent physical condition with no defects that would interfere in firearm use, raids, or defensive tactics.
*possess a four-year degree from an accredited college or university.

Even if you meet all of the above requirements, you're not home free. There are four entry programs: Law, Accounting, Language, and Diversified.

*Law: You must have a JD degree from a resident law school.
*Accounting: You must have a BS degree with a major in accounting or a related discipline, and be eligible to take the CPA examination. Candidates who have not passed the CPA exam will also be required to pass the FBI's Accounting test.
*Language: You must have a BS or BA degree in any discipline and be proficient in a language that meets the needs of the FBI. Candidates will be expected to pass a Language Proficiency Test.
*Diversified: You must have a BS or BA degree in any discipline, plus three years of full-time work experience, or an advanced degree accompanied by two years of full-time work experience.

If you can pass these, then we are on our way to becoming the coolest dudes around. You'll be cool since you'll be an agent, and I'll be cool since I have you get rid of people for me.

COMMENTS?

Toothpaste hysteria!

2008-09-13T15:29:00.002-07:00

Brad-

There are two different kinds of toothpaste. One has a whitening agent and the other has cavity protection. I want my teeth to be white, but I don't want cavities either! Which toothpaste should I use?

Pete - Kaysville, UT

This is easy. Use both. Is brushing twice really going to kill you? In fact, I would suggest that you may need to brush more often. The junk in your teeth is visible from space. You may need bailing twine for floss, and that stuff looks too strong for your typical dental floss. If you are going out on a hot date, where you will be anywhere near neon lights, I would suggest staying away from any whitening of your teeth. If they are too white your mouth will light up like a rocket booster powering a space shuttle. Unless your date works for NASA, I doubt they'll be impressed.
And are cavities really all that bad? Lose a few teeth and your parents will have no choice but to get you some gold caps. They may even go so far as to get you "Grills". There is no better way for someone who goes to a school like Davis to get some street cred, than getting grills. You can start listening to more Urban music, and get a name like "MC Pete", "Fly P", or even "Pete with Grills who likes rappin'. " All three sound dope to me. Of course you'll have to start saying things like: "A'ight", "Word" "'sup foo' ?" , and "illin'". But with your new look, I'm sure the rest is just details.
Or, you can realize you are being attack by a marketing crew who gets paid the big bucks and sit in an air conditioned room thinking of ways to sell you stuff, while using words like "All Natural", "Anti-Oxidants", "Organic","Ancient Secret", "New", "3 out 4 Doctors", "Alternative", "Boosts (Something or other)", and "Money back Guarantee". When it comes to something like toothpaste, you aren't going to have a whole lot of difference.
Any product that has "Big Claims" should be looked at with a lot of skeptically. Look for "Buzz words", like "All Natural", etc. Don't fall for claims because they seem so great. I could go on and on, but will wait until future questions about crap like "Wheat Grass juice", or "Noni Juice".
If you ever have a question look at : http://www.quackwatch.com/

Growing up is hard to do.

2008-09-13T15:29:00.001-07:00

Brad-

My parents keep telling me I need to start thinking of what I want to study in college. I have no idea! They say if I don't think up something soon, I will become a Wal Mart greeter (no offense to Wal Mart greeters) and will end up with 27 cats on the side of a road, or worse, living at home. Do you have any suggestions?

Carlee - Kaysville, UT

Don't fret! Your parents are just making sure you are prepared or the future. Always remember, no matter how much your parents bug you, they are bugging you because they want you to be happy.
As far as deciding what to study, I have some thoughts on it. I would suggest being an A-list actress if I were you. The pay is great, and you get a lot of free stuff. You will move to California with all of the other beautiful people, and drive a Bentley. In every interview you will mention Talley and me, and fight back the tears as you tell about the day, with my help, you decided to act. If acting isn't your thing, try growing really tall and playing in the WNBA. Sure, the pay isn't the same, but you get to play a game for a job.
When my acting career didn't take off after not making any movies, or even trying to get in the business I decided school might be my only hope. The best choice you can make is just deciding to go. Once you have decided to go to college, you are already on a road to success...though maybe not the money that acting could have brought in.
Next you need to realize you will probably change your mind on what you want to study, a hundred times. I went from Teaching, to Physical Therapy, to Occupational Therapy, Business, back to teaching, and out not long after. Good thing I had my Awesomeness to fall back on. It's helped me through some tough times, when my Radical Coolness was in a rut.
As you take classes you will find new things that interest you, as well as fit your strong qualities. It's a fun journey.
I would suggest, if you are just testing out the waters with any major, pick something that the classes, if you change your mind, can easily be used for something else. No use taking 10 History of Pottery and Bowl functionalities classes if you don't know if you REALLY want to do pottery. Outside of Generals, those classes won't help you become a Neuro-Surgeon. Focus on your generals until you have a good idea of where you want to take things.
Secondly; what type of things do you like doing? Do you want to be in the business world, or does teaching interest you? Is Nursing something that you would like? If so, go towards that. If you change your mind, that is fine, but at least you didn't spend 2 years taking classes that are not required just because you felt like you needed to pick a major right off.
I may be wrong, but I assume your parents don't really think you should decide your major right now. They probably just want you to start thinking about it, so when the time comes you're not lost and wondering what you should do. You are already ahead of the game since your parents care so much about you. Don't let it bug you. Just read between the lines. They're not saying: "Decide right now." They're saying: "It will be a big help to you if you've at least thought about it before you have to start taking classes."
Of course, if they REALLY cared about you they would have invested in acting lessons, so you could buy them a million dollar home and let them retire.
In closing, I think you would make a great Wal-Mart greeter. I'd skip the cats though. As for living at home, well, it's got it's perks, but it's kind of a drag when you start getting serious with guys.

Beauty Woes!

2008-09-11T13:39:00.000-07:00

Brad I was just wondering why some people like me that are so beautiful, must look at people who are obviously not as good looking as I. I mean they get to look at me and, my eyes my poor eyes are stuck looking at crap. Why?

Corbin - Layton, UT

Oh, the age old question: "Why must thou look upon ugly people when thy face is so beautiful?" This isn't as simple as one would first think. Many would simply say: "Well then don't look at them." But this issue is much more complex.
I remember the day I found out I was beautiful. I was walking down Front street in my home town. I wore my Tuff skin jeans, and blue "Roo" shoes, with their too small to fit jack crap, less a quarter, pouch on their side. I had a wad of Big League chew bubble gum, getting worked over by my teeth filling my mouth from cheek to cheek. I remember walking past the dance studio which is on the bottom floor of my towns only "slum apartments". When I walked past the window, all of the girls who were there dancing ran to the window. They were smiling, and winking at me as I passed. I can still see, in my mind, one girl who was at least 2 years older than I, mouth the words: Call me". I was confused about what all of the "Hubba baloo" was about until I walked past L & R Variety.
I was stopped dead in my tracks by what I saw in the reflection of that big picture window. It took my eyes a couple of seconds to focus in on what was reflecting back at me. First I could see the hazel eyes meant for a Greek God. Then I could see the beautiful blonde hair, that looked like it belonged on the head of Fred from Scooby Doo. Next I noticed the Golden brown tanned face staring back at me. After 10 to 15 seconds of staring at this beautiful reflection I realized that reflection was mine. My over sized wad of Bubble Gum nearly fell to the sidewalk as I could barely keep my mouth from popping open. It was then that I , as a mere 6 or 7 year old knew I was beautiful.
With a new bit of bounce in my step, I walked back past the Dance Studio. This time, I knew I had sparkle in my eyes. Everyone was back to the window, staring, winking, yearning, longing. I admit a few mugs weren't as easy on my eyes and I would hope. And first I wanted to turn away in hopes of preserving that sparkle I have. But then it hit me. My calling was to show the World what beauty is.
Corbin, I know it is hard to have people looking, staring, drooling, and breathing hard when you walk by. But you are that picture window that they long to look at. But you are no reflection. You are the face, that person, that soul that they long for.
My advice to you? Accept your calling. Know that this is your destiny. If you weren't suppose to be that beacon of beauty, than evolution would have stopped those beautiful genes in their tracks. You are the reason. You are the light. YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL!
Now go and grin some more.

COMMENTS?

Pimp Pains!

2008-09-11T09:10:00.000-07:00

Brad, I heard all the way in Hawaii that you had the coolest blog in the world!!
I was just wondering (because I know you know what it's like) how to deal with the reality of being a pimp for life? It's rough for me, you know?
Hope your doing awesome, thanks for always making everyone laugh and smile.
Aloha,

Ryan - Hawaii, USA

Oh my young apprentice, I feel your pain. It is hard feeling the pressure that society has put on you to be such an amazing individual, especially among the lady type. My advice may come as no surprise to you. In fact, it may be what you would have written if our pimpin' roles were reversed. My advice to you is; Do yo' thang!
Just do what you do best. If it is cool, as it obviously is, it will be cool. There is nothing you can do about it. If you try to be cool, or a pimp in our case, it doesn't take long for folks to see right through your Pimpin' facade. Your life is too short to get hung up on doing what you think other people want you to do. It also takes too much energy.
Some of the coolest people I know were cool, not because they were your stereotypical cool guy, but because they were who they were with no apologies. It was their quirks that made them who they are. It made them unique. They didn't try to be unique, they were just them selves.
So you may have been blessed with the curse of being a pimp. (To all other's reading: I am using Pimp as a slang term , not as an actual pimp who prostitutes women. I mean it as a total stud, who gets the ladies...if you know what I mean.)
Now what? Be that pimp as well as you can be it. Be that pimp the best way you know how. And that should be easy. It's easy to be yourself. It's trying to be what you're not that throws a kink into everything.
I know it is tough try to handle all of the ladies. You have to understand this is your 'cross to bear'. For every one person you look at and say: "I wish I were them." There are 10 - 2o people looking at you saying : "I wish I were him...in all his pimpin' glory, great looks, chiseled physique, shiny shoes, curled lip, bulging muscles, fine tap dancing skills, whistling prowess, brains of an intellect, heart of a lion, and hands of a lover."
Let me roll this into an easy ball to understand: Be yourself. You'll be happier. People will like you more. It's easier than being someone you are not. People will see through your fake identity anyway.
Now go and Pimp some more!

ps I'm keeping an eye on our young pimp Jason. He's coming a long quite well. You'd be proud! I know I am.

Comments!

Answering a date.

2008-09-09T19:51:00.000-07:00

I need to answer my date for the homecoming dance. How should I do it? By the way. He has long hair.
Lindsy - Kaysville ,UT

Easy, cut his hair off when he is asleep and spell the words "Yes" on his Kitchen table out of his long locks. At first he will be mad, but when he sees it on his table, next to his "Loopy O's", he will get a good laugh. And he'll get his hair back.
Or you can kidnap his family pet, shave "Yes" into it's fur, or maybe never give it back, and say it's what he owes you for going out with him. You have a new, free pet, and he gets to go out with the girl of his dreams.
If these ideas don't tickle your fancy, I would suggest doing something that you have never heard of being done. The element of surprise works best. Scaring him is what I would try. Something late at night. Get his family involved. Find out his fears, whether it be ghosts, or social situations. By answering him in a non-traditional way, this will show him how excited you are, and that you really put some time into it.
I once heard of someone writing "Yes" on a grain of rice, and putting it in a mason jar full of rice. But is this the kind of torture you want too put your "Knight in shining armor" through?
I would try to think of surprising him, somewhere he would not expect to be surprised. A little brain storming session with your friends, or coaches could produce some amazing results. But before this session of storming brains, I suggest doing your homework, on his fears, where he goes, and how you could surprise him. Then let the "Brain Trust", I mean, your group of friends help you plan the attack. I look forward to find out what happens.

COMMENTS?

COMING SOON!

2008-09-09T19:40:00.000-07:00

Coming soon!!! We will have Good Advice from Brad T-shirts available in the near future. Leave us a comment if you wish to be notified when they are available for order.
Help your friends out by displaying their quickest way to find REAL Answers.
From your friends at www.goodadvicefrombrad.blogspot.com

What do I condemn in my paper.

2008-09-09T19:23:00.000-07:00

I wanted to try this out. I have to write a sermon condemning something to hell. what should I do it on?
Jason - Kaysville, UT

Hello Jason, if you have anything that has to do with Hell you came to the right person as many people think I'm already going there. Even though I don't believe in a physical hell I will help you out.
At first thought, some people would think of condemning things like getting kicked in the gut by a mule. But see, the mule probably did it in self defense. And that same belly kicking mule, doesn't really understand what empathy is. It's like my Granddad may have said: "A mule kicks, and a mule don't care." And come on Jason, does a mule really belong in hell?
I suggest if you are condemning something to hell, and you want to be intellectually honest about the whole thing I would condemn something that you feel has no worth to society. From what I've been told about hell, it aint a good place to end up. So condemning things like "Chinese Finger traps", or bent Slinky's there is a bad choice.
Before I go on, we need to determine something. Do you want your condemnation to be funny? If that is the case, the more simple the thing being damned, the better. Damning something like small Dixie cups is a good example. Not only are they made of paper, they are also only 6 oz. And who ever drinks just 6 oz ? I mean, we're not talking about tequila shots are we? Even then, the 6 oz cup would be too large. And even then, it's still not glass...it's wax paper for goodness sake. Here you have damned something, that A: No one else will probably think of. And B: They are stupid, and laughable not worthy of eternal damnation.
Now if you want a serious answer, I suggest Cats. Let's be honest, we all hate cats. They're sneaky, and the scratch you. Ever had a little kitten tossed at you bare back? If not, do it, and you will see what all of this Cat damnation I speak of is about. The little bugger will claw the heck out of your back, leaving you with a series of long, bloody claw marks left by a small beast that seemed to be trying to claw you kidney out for dinner.
In closing; if you want to be funny, make it something very, very simple. If you want it to be serious, truly think of something you don't think belongs on this earth. Look at it from all angles. For me; I'd go with the funny approach. But act like you are being totally serious. That will make or break it. I hope to hear how it goes.
Now go and sin no more.

COMMENTS?

Chased by children.

2008-09-08T12:03:00.000-07:00

What do I do about young Africa children who chase me when I run? At first it was fun, they then start to mock you, and call you Kaneniza (famous Ethiopian runner) One little boy even whipped me with his cow whip. What can I do?

-"Chased in Ethiopia" Ben - Ethiopia by way of Morgan, UT

This one is pretty easy, as far as I am concerned. Just run faster! I would think a runner of your ability and age could out run little kids. Are you sure you weren't "jogging"? If you are being called Bekele, I would take that as a compliment as he is one of the most amazing runners to trot down a road on this earth. Your problem may be that you are feeling pressure to be great. Well my son, this is all in your hands. You can blame other people for putting pressure on you, or you can see it for what it really is; they believe in you. If these little Ethiopians didn't think you could run fast, they wouldn't run after you. (They'd walk.)
Would you rather they call you: "Stupid fat white dude who has no chance of beating an Ethiopian" instead? You need to look at the mocking as them saying they love you. I chase people I love all of the time. Sure, they are ALWAYS good looking chicks, and they don't want me following them, and they try to run away really fast, and I end up getting a restraining order against me, but that can't stop my love.
As far as the cow whip goes, I would do one of two things. First thing would be grabbing the whip as it was whipped towards me, wrestle it from his hand and either a: toss it away, or B: whip the little sucker back and say: "Take that you cow whipper". My second thing would be to turn to them, and act like a you are "The great white God", and scare them by saying you are going to have their cow's milk go dry, or keep it from raining in Ethiopia. That should do it.
Good luck! I am sure you will be running "Kid Chased" free in no time. If these things fail, come back to America where no one cares about you, and have better things to do other than chase you when you run.

How do I beat him?

2008-09-06T20:09:00.000-07:00

"Please help me. So far your advice has been concerning teenagers dealing with teen problems. I'm 60 years old. Can you help me with my problems? They include: where can I get Depends on sale? Is AARP insurance a good buy? Why don't they have Senior Citizen parking spots reserved at Cross Country meet sites? Can a 60-year old man defeat a much younger Morgan "flash" in a 5,000 meter race?"

Old Man - Clearfield, UT

Well Old man, I am happy you wrote. Depends on sale? Try Smith's. AARP? It's okay if you're not a smoker, or someone who does Meth. Senior parking at XC meets? Well, this is simple. We runners know you older folks need a good jog...or at least a walk. So get your lazy butt out of the car and walk for heaven's sake.
Your last question is a really good one. But, I'm sorry to say the answer may not be what you want to hear. Sir, this can not be done. "The Flash" of which you speak is an amazing person that has the "Eye of the tiger". Though I have heard tales of you beating this spry prince in the past, I doubt this will happen again. I know this may be hard to hear, but it's just the truth. My advice? Get yourself a 64 ounce Mtn Dew, and see how much your wholesale Depends can hold before you spring a leak.

Good advice!

2008-09-06T19:40:00.001-07:00

If you are wondering: "Should I really ask this guy I may or may not trust for his advice? "

The answer is quite simple. Yes you should. Why? Because I have good advice. How do I know? Because once I thought. "Hmmm, what should I do about (This has happened on several occasions.)?"
Then I gave my self good advice, and it helped out a little. So if my advice is good enough for me, it is really good for you.

Singing to Chicks.

2008-09-06T18:28:00.000-07:00

"I'm thinking of getting some lady folk. What would be the best song to sing to her?"
Seth - Kaysville, UT

First we need to figure some things out. Can you sing? If not, keep your yapper shut. If you can, why do you want to sing to her? To really make her swoon? If so, I would try: "Feel like Makin' love", "You gots my heart all melty and such", "You are cuter than the last girl I courted", or "I didn't know that was your sister."

Or write one about her. I suggest not being too serious. A little humor goes a long way, especially if you don't have the voice of, say, Harry Connick Jr.

Good luck my little song bird!

Comments?

Random Advice.

2008-09-06T18:16:00.000-07:00

Here's some good advice: Don't use your bare hand to test if something is hot. Try and ice cube. If it melts, it's hot.

Good advice #2: If you have sore throat, quit gulping to see if it is still sore. It probably is you idiot. Sore throats don't go away in 10 to 20 seconds.

Good advice #3: If you are talking to someone you don't like do not say "We should do something sometime" just to be nice. They may take you up on it, and you be stuck hanging out with some jerk you hate. And it will be your fault. So don't be stupid. If you don't mean it, don't say it.

Comments?

"Jokes about girls"

2008-09-06T17:26:00.001-07:00

"Brad, I know this boy that keeps telling jokes about women. How do I let him know it is a turn off with out hurting his feelings?"
Rachel - Kaysville, UT

I have seen this problem many times. Some boys think this is funny. I liken it to a little kid pulling a girl he likes hair out at recess. It's not the most productive way to get a bride.

My advice to you is to tell him what you think, but in a joking way. Like: "You know Bartholomew, if you keep telling jokes like that you're never getting married." Or "Mitchell, are these jokes suppose to make me want to make out with you? You know they have more of the effect of making me want to kick you in the face"

If the boy is not a complete idiot, he will get the clue. If he doesn't, he is obviously not a guy you should be going after. Women deserve more than that.

Comments?

"What about dating?

2008-09-06T17:16:00.000-07:00

"Hey Brad, I was wondering about dating. What type of dates do you recommend?"
Chelsea Kaysville, UT

Well Chelsea, I'm glad you asked. The best advice I have is that you do something where you get to interact with your date. It is always nice to be original, but don't let that add any stress to your dating experience. Do something that allows you and your date to get to know each other. I suggest not doing something that is too competitive, even though a good competition is always fun.
One of the funnest dates I ever went on was playing with Dart Guns at Temple Square. (We have also played Hide and go seek during the lights. Each player must keep moving. All the Seeker must do is see the Hider. There is no running. It is a lot harder than you would think when it is full of Holy light lookers.) We of course were kicked off eventually. So we went "Pool Hopping" at the Local Hotel. The dates where we just went out and did some fun, cheap stuff were the most fun.

If you use a little imagination, the possibilities are endless. Just make sure you are going out with someone that you like to be with as much as you like looking at them. Even though I enjoy looking at a lovely lady, it gets old after a few hours.

Keep it fun, and keep it relaxed. No use spending a whole lot of money, as you will probably be moved on to a new "Hottie" before your check clears. Just make sure you get time to interact.

Comments?