Ban the Bandit!

Dear Brad, How do you feel about people that bandit races? I recently banditted a 5k and actually won it. This is the first time I've ever done this and I don't feel like I cheated anybody. I won by a decent amount so I wasn't in anyone's way. I didn't take any refreshments or get any of the same things those that registered did like a shirt or medal. The race registration was $20.00. For me registering late it would have actually been $30.00 which is a lot for a high school aged kid. I would have gladly registered if they had a cheaper registration around $10.00 where you don't get a shirt. I know many people look down on banditting which is completely understandable if it's a crowded race, a marathon you have to qualify for, or even a fundraiser race. This race was none of the above. Do you think it's morally wrong the way I did it? I wanted some good training and to test my fitness against other runners. You usually pay for goods or services since neither were provided it makes me feel like what I did was not dishonest. There was a point in the race where I had to hold my own arm up to stop a car. I don't see the problem in banditting races as long as you don't get in the way or take any of the things that are for registered runners.

- Jacob

I understand 100%. I have always wanted a Ferrarri. The Ferarri 355 Spider to be exact. But since it's a blasted Italian Super car they want to charge me $100,000 for a USED 1997 model. If it were $40,000 I would pay it. But since I really wanted the Ferrari I just took it. 

Now, don't think I don't understand you at all. I do. I get it. It sucks when day of race prices go up so high. When I was a kid race prices were around $12 for pre. $15 day of. Then it went up to $20 pre registration. Now, some 5K's are $40. Especially for mid pack runners, being a bandit is tempting. 

BUT...I have been a race director. We put on a memorial run for my Dad for 11 years. A lot of money and stress goes into races. We start preparing months in advance. We order shirts based on projected numbers. And every extra shirt we have we are out money. Which covers costs (And there are a lot of costs) and we donated to rest. You need to realize 99% of the runners prefer to race for free. I've run countless races, 75% of the shirts I have never even put on. Should I pay less because I didn't wear mine? 

It is also a pain with timing. Nothing screws things up more than an unregistered runner crossing the finish line.It throws everyone's times off and is a headache for an already stressed out race director.

Liability is another issue. A year or so ago a man did a "Mud Run" without registering. Well, he broke his neck and then sued the race. Reminds me of the people robbing a home who get injured and then sue. (It's happened. I kid you not.)

Do you sneak into Disneyland because the prices are too high? I'd hope not. People have a service or product. They set a price. If it is worth it to you, you pay the money. If not, you don't. Unless you have permission from the race director, I am against

So don't be a cheap skate. Either pay for the race or don't run.

And that's the straight dope!

Friends and lunches

1. What do you do if your best friend is angry and jealous about something that she won't talk to you about it?

2. What do you do if one of your friends takes your lunch box and then eats something out of it and won't give it back no matter what you say?
( P.S. these are not the same people.)
Thank You Brad!!!!!
Hallie - Ogden, UT

Dearest Hallie,

I am happy you have come to me for help. I will solve all of your problems and your life will be better than ever.

So your friend is jealous and angry? Well, if you want to know why, there are a few simple steps you can take to get in the "know". When she is asleep, dress in all black, sneak into her room and steal her diary. Surely, if she (Assuming it's a she) is a true blooded American girls she has written all of her feelings in the diary. WARNING: If she wakes up while you are thumbing through her diary, throw a white sheet over your head and act like a ghost. This will A: Freak her out. and B: Keep her from seeing your face. A Win Win if you ask me.
Or, you can ask her about it. Tell her it seems like something is bothering her, and as her friend you want to help her out. If she still won't tell you, then you just half to chalk this one up as "Crap that happens when you're growing up". Usually, if she won't tell you it is because she doesn't really know how to do it without making you mad. If she refuses to talk about it, then try to get her mind on something else. Just make sure she knows that you are willing to talk, as her best friend, whenever she is ready.

Problem #2. Now this one is near and dear to my heart. Not because it happened to me, but because ain't nobody gonna live messin' with my hoagie! Step one: Collect all of you cat and dog droppings for 3 or 4 days. (Make your brother do it.) Then make him smash them all together. Cut thin slices of the "Dog Poop surprise" so they look like slices of ham. Then make, or have your brother make, a delicious looking sandwich. When this "Hoagie stealer" takes your lunch they will be in for a giant surprise. If they don't take the Hoagie, then have rice pudding filled with rabbit droppings as a back up. Soon, the joke will be on them. "Ha ha, good one." is what the other kids will say.
If you don't feel up to packing this "Dog Poop Sandwich" in your backpack for half of a day there are other, though not as fun, things you can do. First of all, you need to realize something. When someone picks on you, or steals your lunch it is usually because they are jealous of you. Most people, instead of just being happy with who they are, will tease or bully other people to try to feel better about themselves.. Of course, this doesn't make people think they are cool, just jerks. Luckily, most kids outgrow this when they are older. (But outgrowing this lunch stealing fiasco doesn't help you now. So let's find more ways to clear it up.)
Again, the first thing is to talk to them. Saying: "If you don't have enough to eat my Mom can make you something to eat too." This might make them kind of embarrassed, and it takes the power away from them. They are taking it from you to bother you. Turning it around on them can take the wind out of their sails. You could even, one day, bring a sandwhich that has their name on it. You can say: "I figured you didn't have enough to eat since you always take some of mine, so I went ahead and had my Mom make you one." They won't really know what to say.
But if talking to them doesn't work, you only have a few options. Tell a teacher (Privately of course) guard your lunch with your life or just continue to let it happen. It is tough because you don't want to make the bully target you in other areas. But sometimes ya just gotta tattle.
But the biggest thing you must realize is that they are the problem NOT YOU! You didn't do anything to deserve someone picking on you or stealing your lunch. It is their problem. They are the ones who feel they need to pick on you to feel good about their self. You are a great person, and you can never, ever, ever, ever forget that no matter how many Hoagie Sandwiches, brownies, Cookies, Corn bread, Lima Beans, String Cheese sticks, Pizza balls (A Personal favorite), salads, cupcakes, or Corn Dogs end up inside this lunch box stealer's belly.
No get your brother out picking up dog poop. I'm sure you're going with my first, and best idea.

Freaky Roomates

Dear Brad, I have recently moved to a place where I share my living space with 5 girls who I am unfamiliar with. For the most part, they are really nice. We don't seem to have problems with like catfights or anything...yet. However there is one roommate who is very...abnormal. She freaks out about every little thing and takes it as a personal offense. One night she got mad at me because the sink was dripping and I was the last one to use it (how the heck would she even know that?!), she calls her mom about every homework assignment and gives her a play by play. And she has zero tolerance for pain (she went to a physical therapist when her hands got tired from typing...). These abnormalities aren't TOO bad. I mean, I can easily brush off her little freak outs about dripping faucets, I don't take that personally. And seeing as I'm thinking of becoming a PT, I don't mind the fact that she gives them steady business. The problem is that SHE does things that if I did, she would way more than freak out at me. For instance, I came home today and noticed that her hair dryer and straightener were on my bed. My first thought, "ew, does she like, do her hair on my bed?" Then I realized that her straightener was ON and had been all day! I'm pretty sure that could have burned my quilt. I don't feel like that is an acceptable behavior. But when I was irritated by the fact that her hair tools where on my bed and as hot as can be, she acted quite offended that I would call her out on it. The thing is, I want to be polite, but I also want to be respected. But if I say nothing, nothing happens and if I say something, nothing happens and she thinks I'm the bad guy. I don't care if she's weird, she thinks I'm weird too. It's just that when her weirdness overflows onto my things...that isn't ok. I don't like finding half-eaten plates of tofu on my desk. I still have like 8 months of this and transferring living quarters isn't really an option at this point. What do I do?

Jessica- Provo, UT

First things first. Begin by writing up an official declaration of war. And then run down to Home Depot and buy some 2 x 4's and plywood. Divide your room in half. Once this nut case steps foot on your side, hand her the declaration of war. Sure, she may balk at this declaration, but that's not your problem...she is now, officially the enemy.
Then offer no mercy for the rest of the semester, leaving the tap on any time you want. Dirty dishes in the sink? Not your problem either. "Oops! Her hair gel is mixed with glue!" Did you do that? who cares. This is war baby! and treating your apartment as such will bring joy to your Freshman year.
OR
You can TRY to make the best out of a bad situation. Trust me, there is nothing I hate worse than someone who makes a big deal out of nothing, or is all up in my grill about my bees wax! But you need to realize this is her problem. You will not change her. And you have a choice. 1: Be annoyed all semester. or 2: Try and work it out. If it gets worse you may need to sit down with her and talk about it. You can tell her your concerns and she can cry about it... I mean, express hers. Point out that a dripping sink is not a big deal. When the sink is dripping acid on babies, then she can come cry about it to you.
She is going to do stuff that bothers you. You choose to let it bug you. Instead of it bugging you, find the humor in it. It is funny she calls her Mom over everything. The play by play is funny. Try laughing to your self. Her doing annoying things will only get more annoying unless you find the humor in it.
You are going to deal with any people in your life that will drive you nuts. They can either ruin your day, or give you a chuckle. I had room mates that drove me nuts. My first one in fact (Pictured below) lives in infamy. Some of my room mates and I still laugh about it. We turned what he did into something funny to us. And we have had years of smiles because of it. (Ask me about him sometime. Trust me, you will laugh.)

The Boaz- "Wanna Grapple?!?!
(Picture taken WITHOUT strict or written permission from Jeremy Boaz and was used in the "Learn how to wrestle" flyer placed throughout the campus of BYU-Idaho.)

But I am not trying to act like we didn't have little acts of war from time to time. In fact, those acts of war are some of the funnier things we talk about.

This is your freshman year for Heaven's sake. Don't let a crazy room mate screw it up for you.


ROOMMATE DRIVING YOU NUTS TALKING ABOUT HIS SINGING PROWESS?

Talk him into putting on a show in your apartment.
Name your apartment the "Show Boat Theater" and get "The Magnet Man" to be your headliner.

Have him put on a "great"...or a show!


Earn yourself so extra cash selling tickets to his show by telling people it is for a business class. And then sell out your apartment.

Parking Bum.

Hate looking like an inconsiderate bum? I bet. Well, here's a tip to keep your lazy butt from look so danged inconsiderate.
Now, we know you aren't the most important person in this Universe of ours. It's time you know that too.
When it says "No Parking" in the fire lane in front of a store... Well, that means you too. No, it doesn't matter that you are sitting in your car while your wife, husband, buddy, son or 5th Grade PE teacher runs in to get Ho Ho's and Slim Jim's for your party. Yep, it's still a fire lane.
I know you assume since you have a party, and guest are chanting "Ho Ho's" that you are now able to park there. But let me assure you that it is still a fire lane.
To help you avoid the rolling of eyes, and gnashing of teeth, find a parking spot like the rest of us. You may even burn a calorie or two. (I know. I know. Heaven forbid.)
Look, no one likes an A Hole. Just park and walk.

You're Welcome.

The Best Friend.

Dearest Brad,

Here's the situation. Over the past couple of years, there has been a girl that I have been somewhat attracted to. We talk every now and then and both have wanted to go out on a date for some time, but because of her hectic schedule and my running schedule, we haven't been able to do so. But recently, I have noticed another girl, one who just so happens to be her best friend. And of all the best friends I've ever seen, she is definitely the BEST. I haven't actually had a conversation with her, but when we pass each other in the hall at school, we smile and say hi, each one feeling the intense chemistry. I would love to ask her out. Now here's the question. Should I ask the first girl on a date first? Or should I follow my heart and just head straight for the second. Either way, I know they will talk about that date, and if I go with the second girl first, the first girl might feel a little jipped. What do you advise?

Sincerely,

Joe...alone and confused

My advice for you is simple. Take them out on the same date and they can have a knife fight to prove their love for you. Last one standing, or has the most fingers left gets your love.
OR
You really need to pick which one you want the shot with and go for her. With the two of them being best friends, a lot of times it's one or the other. Many times in my youth, I tried the ol' "Get the girl by going through her best friend", only to find that once you have dated the best friend, your chances with the other girl are no longer there.
If you don't single one out you'll be sitting on your porch in overalls with a mason jar of Kool Aid, and a harmonica singing: "I kinda loved two girls but now I kinda lost them both..."
Now go forth and replenish your heart!

Pushing yourself to the limit.

Dear Brad,

I have somewhat recently come to the realization that while I am progressing in running.... I could be better. It seems to me that I have a lot of things going for me when it comes to body type, endurance, speed and such things. I have been doing alright in races and workouts and such, but I am not satisfied with the results. I feel like I could be doing much more than I really am. After talking with some friends it seems as though many people who beat me have the ability to push their bodies to a higher limit. When I race it is hard and everything. But I don't suffer any lasting discomfort, I rarely throw up, and I am never sore following a race. It seems like I recover fairly quickly and within minutes I am feeling just fine. Races feel more like just a moderately hard workout. Do you have any tips on ways to fix this? I want to take my running to the next level but I can't do that unless I am running the races that I am capable of. I just need to find a way to push myself better.

Logan

If throwing up after a race is your main goal then I suggest eating about 6 to 9 donuts, and a half gallon of chocolate milk 5 minutes before you race. This should do the trick. Then you will feel good about your race, but not so good about the vomit on your racing flats or spikes.
Actually, throwing up after a race is no indication of how hard you ran. In fact, I have never thrown up after a race. But I ran with a kid, who went on to run at BYU that would throw up after every single race...no matter how hard. That's just how his body worked...or didn't work.
And lasting discomfort isn't necessarily an indication of how hard you ran as much as how in shape, or not in shape you are. Maybe you have seen some of the winners of marathon's doing push ups or cartwheels after winning. If you are in great shape, you should feel better after a short recovery. That's one way I gauge my fitness.
We are all built differently. I don't race any easier than I did in my prime, I could just get from punt A to Point B a lot faster back then. A lot of times that is the only difference between the fastest and slowest kid on the team...Pure, downright and dirty genetics.
That being said, Yes, you do have a lot going for you. What you are lacking is patience. Believe it or not, I am very close to your High School coaches. They know they could have run you harder in High School. Had you log more miles...but that was not the goal. The goal was to give you a great base, and let you gain a love for the sport without burning you out. It is what they feel is the best way to get you ready for college. Now you body is adjusting to running more miles, and longer intervals. Give it time. Most of my friends who had very successful college careers didn't get fast until their Junior or Senior years. (One was All-American in the 10,000 Meters, and he was a walk on.)
Focus on what you can control. Put in the miles. Work your tail off in practice. Take care of your body, and eventually the times will come. Again, THEY WILL COME. A couple of years will make a world of difference. Let your body adjust.
Don't forget why you are running in the first place. It's not to take first. It is to push yourself, and become the bet. Your best now is slower than your best in the future. That's life. And that' running.
Good luck...You will be just fine. Trust me.

Fogotten kisses.

Dear wise Brad,

           For reasons that will soon be obvious please keep this anonymous(damn spelling!).  Once upon a time on a glorious halloween night my dearest friend shadly of "Gnar-nia" and myself became very intoxicated and there was much locking of the lips and rejoicing and more locking of the lips..........unfortunately the bad ass climber from "Gnar-nia" was sooooooo intoxicated that he does not remember the lip lockage (it feels like I would imagine the movie 50 first dates except not that bad) now.....do i awkwardly explain that during his drunken stuper there was much locking of the lips? Or do i pretend said event never happend again and wait to see if he soberly puts the moves on me? Cuz damn i like me some shadly climber boy.

sincerely,

Lady
Some Cliff in Utah

Well, first of all, I bet he remembers. He may just feel awkward, not knowing what you are thinking. They only way you will know if it will happen in a sober state is if you bring it up. You can even joke about it. You should be able to get a vibe of what he is thinking. I bet, he remembers, and would gladly sober kiss any time. If you don't get the vibe, you too can chalk it up to the whiskey making your lips pucker.
In the world we live in, we need love. Any love is good love so take what you can get.

What to do?

Dear Brad,
Being a senior is a lot of fun! But it seems like everyone already knows what they will do with their lives after we get diplomas in June! Except me. I have no idea! I sit in class and hear people say things like "Well I'll probably start out at Utah State and go into elementary education, then when my boyfriend gets home we'll get married and move to New Jersey where he'll go to law school and we'll have five kids and be successful and have a great life. Because I have a plan." or "I'm going to SUU where I can play on scholarship for a year, then I'll go on a mission, come home, marry a pretty girl, and become a physical therapist. It will be sweet!"
I have no idea what I will do! There's a lot of things I like and I don't really want to get stuck doing something I thought I liked, but actually don't like as much as I thought I did. Plus, I want to live it up right now while I'm young and beautiful and charming and all of those other things that may fade with time. Of course I want to get an education, but I also want to have fun... Is it ok to not declare a major for a while? Is there still hope for me to have a sweet life even if I don't have a 20 year plan for it?
Thanks,
Jess

Sorry Jess, you are screwed. Your life will amount to nothing if you haven't decided already. You may want to start collecting cats and I assure you that you will end up as the "Cat Lady". You will only need a one bedroom apartment as you will have no need for more. Save the money to buy toys for your cats.Yep, if you don't know by 17 or 18, you are down right screwed. You should have been thinking about your future instead of dating guys and going to dances.
Actually, the curious thing about life is that it usually doesn't end up like you plan it anyway. I changed my major 3 times. I wanted to be a teacher, Occupational Therapist, among other things. But as I grew, and had more experiences these things changed. Sure, some people know when they are a little kid what they want to be...but MOST people don't. I was out of High School 10 years before I really decided on a career.
Fortunately the beautiful and charming will take you places. Look, you are going to spend the rest of your life in the "Real World", you may as well live it up for a while.
This doesn't mean don't have goals, or think about your future, but come on. Don't lose sleep over it. Things happen very fast. Life passes you buy. Are you going to miss it worrying about tomorrow?
Best advice I have is just be ready for anything. Be flexible. Life WILL WORK OUT! You'll make plenty of mistakes just like everyone else.
Again, I'm not saying you shouldn't think about the future. You should have an idea of what you want out of life. But that doesn't mean you need to know what you are going to do for a career, or how many kids you want. That will probably change too. If you would have asked me 10 years ago, I would have said I wanted 6 kids, and I wanted to live in Morgan. Well, we had 3 boys and that was enough for us. Morgan is a nice place, but I would never move back there. I've changed. What I want changed...but I love my life. As far as I am concerned, if you're not living in my world; it sucks to be you. I can't imagine a place more beautiful.
So go out and see the world. Enjoy your youth and all of the beauty and charm. There is too much out there, and you don't want to miss it. Good luck!

Older women

Dear Brad, I am faced with a problem and I come to you because of your wisdom and studliness, you see there is a girl on the team that in my opinion is the prettiest girl in the world, but she is older than me. What should I do?

Sincerely, Brayden

p.s. I think the other freshman could use this advice too. ;)

My advice is simple. Do what you would do if she were your same age. Though my wife is younger than me, most of the girls I liked and dated back in the day were older than me. So go for it. The only problem was by the time I was a senior they had all graduated. But luckily for me there was a sexy lass who was a sophomore. A wise man once said to me: "Love Knoweth no age, and if she is hot, then go get her and give her a big kiss."
If you like an older girl then ye shall asketh that girl out. And in as much as ye ask her out she will rejoice in her room for the space of many days. And when she is done rejoicing by her lonesome ye will take her out on a date. And you may even locketh thy lips in an embrace of love. And Brad will be pleased. Thus sayeth the Brad.
Go get her my man!

Running slumps!

Dear Brad-A,

I am in severe need of advice from a superior, experienced runner, such as yourself. What can you tell me, or help me out with, along the lines of a major running slump? my summer has been quite difficult with hardly anything to be happy about. this summer i have expectations and i haven't yet found that zone i was in last summer.
your thoughts would be much appreciated!

Nate - Kaysville, UT


Dear Nate,

I wish there was an easy answer, but unfortunately this is just how running works. It sucks, I know.
All you can do when you run into these slumps is run like you are not in a slump. The more you worry and stress about your "slump" the worse it will be or seem. This is just part of running and racing. Just take care of yourself, hit your runs, take your rest days, and pretty soon you wil come out of it. This is nothing new.
In fact, there was this guy named Adam a long, long time ago. He liked to run. But this was so long ago, that adidas had yet to be invented...I know, a world without adidas is no world I'd like to live in. He ran barefoot, with only a leaf as split side shorts. His wife Eve,w ho was smokin' hot, and clothes-less as well like to run a bit too. One day while they were doing intervals she gave him a piece of fruit as a snack. Well, long story short, he got a major side ache and didn't run well. He thought he would never run well again. But he kept at it at pretty soon he was running well. The End.
Your zone will return! Just work your tail off and you will get back. I know this to be true with every fiber of being.

Friends

Brad-
Hey Brad it is me again but this time instead of advice on girls, I need some advice on friends. I think I have many friends and that includes hopefully the whole team and some others that don't do track or long distance. How do you I know that the people I am friends with are REALLY my friends? Everyone on the team who I pretty much consider my friends are high spirited and overall are just good people which are qualities in friends that I look for. I hope everyone can see a good friend in me and that I am always looking forward to being a good friend to them. Any advice you have on friends would be great! Go Darts!

sincerely,

Just another distance runner

True friends weed themselves out over time. Over time I have realized that my true friends accept me for who I am, and support me in the decisions I make. True friends don’t care what makes you happy, they just care that you are happy.
Just be yourself. I want people to like me for me. Life is too short to be someone you are not so someone likes you. They are not really your friend if that is what it takes.
It is very easy to tell who your real friends are. Do they do what you feel a friend does? Do they treat you like you feel a true friend does?
Trust me, you’ll know.

Will Pre return?

Brad, Do you believe that the next Steve Prefontaine is really out there somewhere? Will Pre ever come back?

-Brayden Cromar


Well, no. But will someone make an impact like Pre? Sure. Why not? There will never be another Pre. He came at a time when a guy like Pre was needed to get the sport here it is today. That is why he made the impact he did.
You also need to realize that Pre has been turned into a nearly mythic runner. That happens when you die way too soon. He was a great runner, with a lot of guts. But if you really look at some of the current runners out there, like Ritz, for instance you have someone with just as much killer instinct as Pre. You don’t get to that level without that drive that made Steve Prefontaine so great.
People from the past always seem nobler than people today. Just like when you hear: “Oh Kids these days.” Older generations have been saying that about younger generations for as long as humans have spoken words.
Pre was great. He is a great runner to want to be like. But waiting for the next Pre is like waiting for the next “Beatles”. Life is like a big river. No one owns the river, but we all get to throw in a little something to make it better. We don’t need another Pre. We already have one. We need a “Crom” to take us further. Don’t look for Pre’s foot prints, make your own.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Steve_Prefontaine

To love and to hold.

Dear Brad,
I'm not sure what to think about my date last night. It was with a girl that I like. It was fun and the concert was great but I'm still not sure where I stand with the girl. I didn't try to kiss her, but when I tried to wrap my arms around her during the concert she got a little uncomfortable and said, "I'm just a really slow mover." I was a little confused because it was our third date and I didn't see that as moving really fast so I don't know how to interpret it or how to proceed in future dates. Do I wait for her to get close to me? Do I wait for her to kiss me? And how slow is really slow? She didn't have a problem holding hands during the rest of the concert but I was paranoid the rest of the night that I had royally screwed up. Everything else was fine, we talked a lot and had fun, we had dinner at her parents place and they seemed really nice. I just don't know what to make of her "slow mover" comment. Help!

Laters
Matt

Well Matt, welcome to the weird, strange confusing World of Women. I have been married for almost 12 years and still end up confused.
I have dated “Slow Movers”, but this, my friend, seems more like a “Not movin’”.
You are doing the right thing by not pushing her to move quicker than she would like, even though this seems strangely slow. But, she may have her reasons, and who am I to question her.
Here is my advice. Have your buddy dress up and deranged murderer. Have him chase you two. Pretty soon she will be begging you to wrap your arms around her to protect her from your buddy.
Or, you can talk to her. Let her know what you are thinking, and how you feel. If you are holding hands, then I can only assume she sees you as a possible “Lover Boy”. A quick talk should be able to help you decide if this whole relationship is going in a direction you would like. You can sit around for 3 months wondering, or cut right to the chase and ask her. I know that worked for me a few times.
Just remember: “Any love is good love. So take what you can get.”

Even the French kiss.

" I have a question...
If a person kisses someone with a piece of paper between their mouths does that mean they're still VL (assuming they've never kissed anyone before)?"

-- Ça ne fait pas grand bien de s'installer dans les rêves en oubliant de vivre.
It does not do to dwell on dreams and forget to live. -Albus Dumbledore


Dearest Albus,

It’s not so much the act of touching lips that means anything. It is why those two soft, most luscious lips are coming together for that brief moment that means something.
Whether or not a piece of paper was between your lips means nothing. It’s like asking if it’s a real kiss if there is thin barrier of Chap Stick between your lips.
Kissing is great. Forget about VL clubs and get to showing people you care.

Tale as old as time.

Brad-
There is a girl on the team that I have a killer crush on. I think she is way nice and pretty and I maned up and got her number at a meet but I don't know where to go now. I am in such a struggle I listen to the rest of the guys and their advice stinks. I am looking to you for some really good advice because I know you are the advice king.

Sincerely,

A Distance Runner (Austin Allred)


Oh, if I only had someone as wise as me to get advice from when I was a youngster, I wouldn't have spent so much time fumbling around for the right words. Waiting around for the right time. Hoping that she was the right one. Nope, I wouldn't been sailing on an ocean of love like a giant Carnival Cruise line filled with retired people trying to catch up on days gone by. You came to me just in time.
Well, step one is done. Now CALL HER. (If her number works, you are off to a good start. If the number has been disconnected, move on to another sweet young lass.)
Step 2, get a group of people, and ask your crush out on a hot date and woo her with your charm.
Or, just take her out on a fun date, filled with fun, interacting activities and just be yourself.
Just remember, you are here wondering if you should call and she is probably wondering what she will say when you do call. I have a feeling I will be answering a question for her soon. "Dear Brad, this hot guy from the team asked me out. I am so nervous. He is so dreamy. He reminds me of Fonzie from that 70's show "Happy Days" that was supposed to take place in the 50's. How do I get him to love me and want to marry me and we will have lots of kids, a mini van for me and a BMW for him, a trampoline, an English Bulldog, a picture of the two of us over our fireplace, a fridge filled with fruit, and a t.v.?"
Well, none of this will happen until you call her.

Too many friends.

Oh dear the god like brad,

Much help is needed. As well as much advice. The conundrum that i am facing is very difficult, and much too hard for me to face on my own. For this reason i come to you, oh wise brad, with my dearest plea for help.

Anna and I (anni) would like to be in the same room at simplot, but we simply have too many friends, we don't know what to do. We don't want to leave any girls out and cause a riot over our friendship, we want no tears over our amazingness and popularity. We love them all, but how do we tell someone no?

Sincerely

You're two favorite fans and admirers

--anna and anni


Well, this is something I know way too much about. "Hey Brad we all wanna drive in your car." "Hey B to the Rad, they say that Hotel only has 184 rooms, and all of your other friends are staying there." "Hey Brad, how do I get to be on your awesome blog www.corbinandbradhavinggoodtimes.blogspot.com ?"
See, this reminds me of the wonderful, touching song from Pete's Dragon, called "There's room for everyone." Well, that is bull crap. My car seats 5 people. That hotel only has enough rooms for so many people. YOUR room at Simplot only fits so many people.
Let them know that this is nothing personal. It's like my wise older brother David once told me: "You can't F with math." There just isn't enough room.
You must remind your group of followers that until lights out, that party will be rolling in your room. Gatorade will be flowing like water. There will be Power Bars galore. There will be laughing, and even a little crying, that will be turned back into laughing. They are all invited to get down and get back up in your room.
But do realize, that if you are always with a certain group, you will give the impression that you are exclusive whether you are or not. If that doesn't bother you, it's fine. But if it does, sometimes you gotta mix stuff up. If you have the "Party Room" that is open to all hip, trust worthy, Gatorade drinking, party goers until lights out, everyone will realize what room they are assigned to, only means it's the room that the will be SLEEPING in.
Now carry on, and get ready to PAAAAAAAAAAAAAARTY!

Water doesn't kill germs.

After you use the restroom at the store, Energy Solutions arena, the hospital, Olive Garden, Outback Steakhouse, or anywhere else you just used the potty, I think you should be aware that running cold water over your hands for 3 seconds doesn't kill germs. In fact, if you listen really closely you can hear them laughing. If it were boiling water it would if your held your hands under a bit longer, but I don't really recommend that...all that much. Unless I hate your hands. But I don't. At least not yet anyway. Ruin a good hair day running your hands through it and I may hold a grudge.
If you're not going to wash your hands and you want to spread your germs all over the place then man up, and own it. Zip up your trousers, flush the toilet and proudly grab the door handle we all use, open the door and walk out. Stand tall as if to say: "I am a man who doesn't need no washin'. When I's grew up in dem woods we aint gots no soap. We just rubbed dem germs off on a rock and called 'er good."
I admit that my first thought is: "Wow, that's cool, the faucet is pouring out rubbing alcohol." But soon I realize it is nothing but very day H2O, and the soap, under warm water for at least 20 seconds is what you need to get rid of those germs.
Now I know that going to the bathroom isn't necessarily when your hands get dirty, and it's mainly just a good time to remember to wash your hands, which should be done many times over the day. If you're not going to wash your hands this flu season, fine. But for heaven's sake quit acting like you are because we all know you are just trying to fake us out. You just makes germs laugh. And remember, those baby back ribs out on your place are not going anywhere.

More words to live by.

1-When you are texting while driving...tsk tsk tsk..don't think that because you are holding your phone on your lap that everyone else doesn't realize you are texting. We know why you are driving slowly, and weaving like an idiot. Just because we can't see your phone doesn't mean we don't know what you are doing. If you are going to put our lives in danger, then be open about it. Hiding it just makes you look even more like an idiot.

2-If you are telling yourself that you would run if you only had a treadmill, you are either really delusional, or a complete liar. If you don't run outside, you won't run inside. Save money and buy hangers instead of a $1,500 clothes hanger.
Better yet, get out and run. If you can stick through the opening stage of getting in good shape you will probably stick with it indefinitely. If you run outdoors, then you will run on a treadmill on those extremely yucky days.

3- Everyone doesn't think like you. The minute you realize this your life will be so much easier, and people will like you much, much more. Now, don't let me lead you to believe that you shouldn't think like I do, because you life will be better if you do. But I do realize, everyone doesn't like to run, drink Mtn. Dew, listen to good music, and live a kick ass lifestyle. And I'm okay with that. But really, everyone doesn't hold the same arbitrary values you have, like the same things you do, or respect the same people. See it for what it is...They are not attacking you, they're just giving you a chance to see things differently. And maybe, just maybe, one of us might change the way we think. If you always assume you're right, you'll never learn new things.

4- Be nice to people and your life will be easier. When our boys came home with their report cards with great grades, what we raved about was their Honor in Citizenship grade. Both of their teachers said they give very few over all Honors. It is graded on about 10 different things. This is exactly what I told Ethan. "Why we are most proud of that is because it shows what kind of person you are. Any asshole can get straight A's, but only good people will get all Honors. Trust me Ethan, if you are nice, respectful, and caring towards other people your life will be much easier." It's true. Doors will open for you that you never imagined. People hire, buy from, want to be with, want to help out, and include people that are nice. I have found it also helps to be really, really awesome. Being cool is a plus, but Really, Really Awesome is a shoe in for success.
Being nice to people helps you out, and helps other people out. Everyone's life gets better. Remember, everyone, if they live long enough with lose everyone they care about, isn't that reason enough to be kind? I think so.
No one likes and A hole...don't be one! And that's my advice for the day!

Ben who?

Dear Brad,I need your help. What would you do if you once had a great friend, coach and mentor that totally changed your life, made you a hero and a legend, taught you to run and talk at the same time, peed with you in the park before a meet, trespassed over half the land in Morgan in Fugitive, put on races together with boxcutters and sandpaper as prizes, laughed, cried and bled together, popped each others' zits, shared ice cream and campfires, and became immortal in song together,* AND THEN, out of NOWHERE, this mentor, friend, coach cuts off contact and stops talking to you and leaves you in a strange new city alone, with no freinds and no running routes. What would you do? Advice is needed. Plus, I am pissed off you never gave me advice on my last question, honestly. Though it was a while ago.


Ben "The forgotten One, though you named your son after him" Ure

Oh Benjamin, oh dearest Benjamin, it is you that has forgotten your roots. I long for those days of us running to and fro in Morgan in the dark night. I keep looking at your Blog which has not been updated since early 1986.
In fact, once you left the country, I didn't hear from you. I wept myself to sleep at night holding little Benjamin hoping to some how feel your spirit. I tell him stories of you in hopes that he will know the legend that I once laughed with, took a pee in fields with, and acting about 1/4th my actual age.
If I were you I would come back from the big city and live in piece here in Utah...the place where you belong. You are still my favorite Benny Boy.
Also, I have looked back at my records and I answered your ONLY request for advice.
Come home Benjamin!!!

Should I shave or let it grow?

Dear Brad,
My question is simple, should I shave my runner legs or not?

-Brayden, Kaysville, UT

Well, if it were me I'd say "Yes". If it were my wife she would say "Yes". I like it, she likes when I do it, and we are the coolest people in the World, so I don't see that you have an argument.
But then again, it should be up to you. If you ant to, then do it, and don't care what other people say. Your life is yours.

How do you do it?

Hey Brad, it's me, "Adams" or Seth, or Seth Frischknecht. I hope you remember me (that's actually what my question has to do with). Anyway, I was just wasting time (or so I thought) when I came across your good advice blog! I can't believe I've made it this far in life without all of that. For some reason, the gods have been good to me and have given me this chance to start receiving your advice. Anyway, my question is how can I get people like you and Coach Talley to think I'm still cool? I mean, in High School, Coach Talley and I were friends and stuff, and now I think he thinks I was just another one of those kids, you know? And you - I still remember you talking to me right before the 800 at State my Senior year, telling me to go out there and have fun and all. How does someone cool stay cool?
Thanks man,


Seth - Fruit Heights

First things first. I doubt a God sent you to me. It was just dumb luck. But luck all the same. And not luck as in some super natural force.
Secondly, I too, am surprised that you made it this far in life with out royally effing up without my advice. It is lucky you found this site when you did.
You will never be be just another one of the kids. When meets get rolling, Coach Talley has a hard time remembering to eat. In fact, one time he was so wrapped up in the races he forgot to breath. 2 or 3 minutes later he started to turn purple I had to throw a glass of cold water in his face to get his attention. I swear he was seconds away from passing out. What I am trying to say is; don't take it personally. Talley has a job to do at meets and he doe sit well. The Darts aren't where they are because Coach Talley is shooting the breeze with people. It's not us, it's him. ;)
Secondly, if you want to stay cool, then be cool. You don't people to tell you that you are cool. Just be cool. It's more of a state of mind. Just be who you are and don't worry about it. In life there are going to be people that like you no matter what, and there will be people who do not like you. Why waste your time worrying about people who do not like you, when you could be hanging with people who do?
If I worried about the people who didn't like me...well let's for the sake of this advice say that there are actually people who don't like me...well, I would have less time to be cool and give great advice.
Without getting into B.S. crap like "The Secret", just be what you want to be. Having other people think you are cool starts with you thinking you are cool. The rest is just sitting around chilling out, and letting the ladies swoon.

Should I push or should I shove?

My Dear Brad, most of us XC studs like to run the 1600 in track. While running the 1600 at that first 100 meters or so there is always that slower child (who unfortunately did not choose to run XC) who likes to cut you off and go his pace. This can create great problems if you are boxed in. Others also like to throw elbows and make you stumble, this is also unacceptable if you are faster. Should I hit back or blow his mind away with my insane running skills, or should I completely blow out of the starting line like a certain member of our team, Brad Nye?

-Brayden Cromar Kaysville, UT


Unfortunately slower runners shooting out like a bandit is just part of the sport. But even though Track is a non-contact sport, you can't be a wuss. You need to be aggressive the first few hundred meters and when the race really gets going later in the race. If you had a chance the watch the 2009 World Track and field Championships, you saw many people fall, get shoved down, or shoved back.
You should never shove or push to get ahead, but be prepared to protect your territory. If not, you will find yourself boxed in when the race really gets moving leaving you running for 2nd place.
But in the first 100 meters it is better to get out fast enough to keep yourself out of the shoving matches. This is not saying blow out so fast that 200 meters later you are gasping for air, but in track position can be everything. Especially the bigger races. So don't be a fool, stay in school, and get out fast.

BYU?

Dear Brad,

as of late, i have been receiving a few calls from in-state colleges and i just don't know where to go to school. my family and neighbors and everyone i talk to seems like they want me to go to byu but i just don't feel like i would fit in there at all. can you give me any advice?

your indie pal devin

Devin, you came to me in the nick of time. This is no time to be messing around with your future. Understand that I am collecting funds right now to buy BYU and shut it down. Do you really want to go to a school that may be nothing more than an industrial park come next year? I doubt it.
Do you like shaving? Do you like short hair? Do you like having things suck? If so, go to BYU. Do you like me? If so, Don't go to BYU.
Okay, okay, I'm just yanking your chain. Though I am not a BYU fan, to say the least, and I am working on the funds for the buy and bash, what I think of you has nothing to do with your choice of college. I think their XC Coach is a swell guy too.
You need to think about this, as it is a big decision. What do you want to get out of this experience? You'll find friends wherever you go, but if it were me, I'd go where people are a little more like minded. You will excel at a runner at BYU, or any other school you go to. I am partial to Weber State, and think it's a great school, with great coaches. But like I said, this is your decision. You need to forget what your family, and neighbors are saying and only listen to me. Bake me cookies, and bring me a Mtn Dew ASAP.
In closing, all you need to do is think about what you ant from your college experience. Both with Track, and life in general. Don't let other people decided for you. You are a great runner, and an even better person. Your taste in music is second to none, and your World View is right on track. Now get off the Internet and register for classes at Weber State.

Selective hearing.

Dear Brad,

I have a wife that thinks I don’t listen. Sometimes she tells me I am deaf. So much so that I went to the audiologist and got my hearing checked. I can hear perfect. So, Brad, man of many answers, is it me or my wife that is wrong?

Signed, Deaf only part of the time


It's your wife's fault. Plain and simple. She should start telling you things you want to hear like: "Hey hunk of muscle, do you want me to get a dozen of your favorite donuts, or two dozen?" or "Hey Super man, do you prefer a foot massage, back massage or both?" See, I bet you will hear things like that. If she could just grasp this, she would no longer think you are deaf. I don't think it is that hard of a thing to understand. Tell me things I want to hear and you can bet you bottom dollar I will hear it.
But since I do live in the real world, lets examine this better. It reality, it is probably both of your faults. I know my wife will tell me something when I am not paying attention, and as an automatic response I say "Yes", or what have you. I should have stopped and realized what she was saying.
The second problem is that your wife may be suffering from confirmation bias. Once she thinks you never listen, she remembers the times you didn't listen and doesn't remember the many times you do. You leave you shoes on the floor 2 days out of 7 and "You never put your shoes away." When in reality you put them away most of the time.
Once she thinks you are deaf, she will notice things that confirm what she thinks. I would be willing to guess that you do hear what she says more than 90% of the time. But those times go unnoticed.
So where does this leave us? Right here reading a blog from a guy that may or may not know what he is talking about. But as that guy that may or may not know what he is talking about I think that should be pointed out. I used to "Never put my clothes away." But once I pointed out that in reality I put them away most days, it isn't as big of an issue. I do try to put my clothes away everyday, but come on, I get busy being cool, and pretty soon I have run out of time to put my clothes away. It's the curse of awesomeness.
If this doesn't work, take a Q-tip and get some of that wax out of your ears. Make a candle out of it or something. Your wife will appreciate the thoughtfulness and new decor for the house. Just hope the candles are not scented.

Parting advice.

B-Rad-
I read the note below about living it up, and I was impressed with your reply. Sadly, I am a senior, along with several other xc/track kids.... and this means that some of us just aren't gonna be seeing too much of you after graduation. Any parting advice for the seniors?

-Cromar

Well if you are talking about parting you hair, i think I can give a little advice. First you need to decide which side to part on. Being right handed, I naturally want to part my right side, but after looking in the mirror, my hair looks better parted on the left side. So I try to part in on the left side.
There was also a time in my life when I had much, much, much longer hair when I would part almost in the middle. Yep, the 90's were great days for hair fans, or fans of the hair...not to be mistaken with fans that blow air into your hair. It was parted nearly in the middle, though favoring the right side. It's what all the kids on the block were doing.

But sad to say, I have not parted my hair since before I was married to my sweet young bride. For that is the last time I had hair of parting length.
Truth be told, I actually don't even use a comb. I have not used a comb for 7 or 8 years. Why? Beats me. I can do a better job with my fingers I suppose. I've got millions of years of evolution in these babies, while a comb just has a few thousand years of engineering. It is obvious that the primary function of the hand is the comb ones hair.
Upon reading your question again, I think I may have been mistaken. You may not be talking about parting your hair. OS let me try this again.
If there is one thing I think everyone should realize is that life is short. I know you have heard that before, thousands, if not millions of times. But it is true. People spend the first 20 years of their life wishing they were older, and the next 60 or 70 years wishing they were younger. Always remember, Summer vacation is going to come. You next birthday will come. Soon enough you'll be able to rent a car, buy a home, buy whatever you want to, stay up all night with out asking for permission. But don't spend the time you have now waiting for those days. Trust me, the next thing you know you will be 30, 40, 50 and wonder where all of the time went.
We've all seen the insurance commercial that says: "Life comes at you fast." It's true. It seems like last year I was staying until 4 in the morning playing Ping Pong with my wife (then girlfriend) at her college apartment, thinking how great it will be when we are married. Well, being married is even better than I ever hoped for. We have 3 amazing kids that are the light of my life, a Bulldog like I always wanted when I was a kid, the tramp I never had growing up, a wife I love more than anything...even running, I have better friends than I have ever had in my life, and I think life is pretty darned sweet. But every year my kids get a year older. Things come up and we get to spend less and less time as a family. We've got soccer and basketball practices, overnight trips for work, sleep overs are friends houses. I am very happy that I am not looking back on the last 8 or 9 years thinking, you know, I didn't spend enough time with my kids. I knew the trip Amber and I took to Mexico last year was going to come. I didn't waste my time thinking about it and wishing it would hurry up on get there. It has almost been a year since we went.
I did however spend many nights sleeping on the tramp with my boys, building forts in the living room, burying treasure and making maps for them to look for it, family movie nights, coaching soccer games, wrestling, playing tag, shooting hoops, and reading children's books. I know that pretty soon they will want to be hanging out with girl instead of Dad. They won't always need me to drive them to the store, turn the shower on for them, help them find their shoe, show them how to swing a golf club, zip up their coat, help them with their homework, tell them what some word they heard on on TV means, put a band aid on for them, and that is why I love doing it now.

You need to think about the future, don't get me wrong. It will serve you well, to have goals, know where you want to be, and how to get there. Worrying about what needs to be worried about, and forget the rest. You will lose a lot of things in your life, a lot you can get back. But today is something that is gone forever. Spend time with the people you love. Do the things you want to do. Do it today, because once life comes at you, you may never get to do these things again. You may as well live your life as if this is all there is.

So my parting advice: read what I just wrote in the paragraphs above, and you should be able to get what my advice is. If not, shoot me an email and I will spell it out for you.

Livin' it up.

Brad,

I am in need of serious advice. I am faced with the last term of my high school career, and I have been told to, "live it up. Make the most of what time you have left with those you will probably never see again. You are only in high school once," but here is my problem.....as of late I have been feeling so overwhelmed with school, scholarships, running, this singing group I'm in, etc. My time is just very strained. I just want advice on how I can live it up and make the most of this last term without feeling stressed. Is this impossible??

Thanks,

The Lizard - Layton, UT

Well, you need to go to a party with Corbin and me. We, as you know from the Fun Report that comes out weekly, are the funnest people in the world. You need to shadow our every move. Find out what makes us tick? Why are we so awesome. Why is it, that when we cough, people start dancing?
But I know your time is very valuable, and as much as you'd love to do that, you can not. So now, I give you plan B.
PLAN B: Prioritize. You've got to get rid of the stress. You can't do everything. You can't spend time with everyone. And you've got to stop worrying about doing it all. Despite what you think, the friends you really care about you will see again. And thanks to Facebook, it will pretty easy to stay in contact. When I was your age, I just had to look out at the stars and sing "Somewhere out there", hoping whomever I was missing was wishing upon that same star. But you've got the World Wide Web at your finger tips.
Do you love running ?(Say no...you die.) Do you love your singing group? (So no...I won't care all that much.) These are great things. I would not suggest dumping these things as they are things you probably won't do as an organized sport after you graduate. If you throw them out, you will regret it.
So this leaves us with school. I suggest you drop out. Okay, that is not an option either. So I guess I'll have to give you something useful.
You just have to deal with it, and not stress about it. Living it up is doing what you want to do. There is no map to living it up. Being with the people you love. Doing the things you enjoy. That is living it up. If there is something you are doing now that you don't have to do, and you don't like doing it anyway...then don't do it. Spend time doing the things you NEED to do, and the things you WANT to do. I know this sounds simple...but trust me it really is. Just do it.
You are very lucky in the fact that you have great friends that are involved in the same activities you are. What is more "Living it up" than doing what you like with people you like? Nothing. You are living it up. I know things get stressful, and that is no fun. But don't let trying to "Live it up" get in your way.
I remember starting my senior year. Unlike years prior I decided I was going to get involved. I was going to get involved with school activities outside of running and sports. So, for the first glorious week I did just that. Then I spent the next few months in a hospital bed, but I still made the most of it. As you can imagine I had a lot of time to think. I also learned that it wasn't about what I did, but who I did it with. Even though I couldn't really do anything but fill the urinal up with apple juice, and sit in my wheel chair staring at the vending machine deciding what I would get when I learned to eat again, all I looked forward to was seeing people. It was then that I realized I had been doing what I loved (Running, sports, goofing off with great friends) I had great friends. People are what make the world go round. I was amazed at the people who supported me. Past loves, old friends, lover's spurned, teammates, and casual acquaintances were all there. Most have no idea what their visits meant to me. I was a 17 year old who couldn't walk, eat, or move my left arm, but I was still living it up.
So what does this mean to you? Stop worrying about "Living it up". Do what you love, with who you love. And if you do that, you are "Living it up". I wish I had some "Magical recipe" for you, but sorry to tell you, most things in life are that simple. I don't have to jump out of a plane, ride a 75 foot wave, or climb a mountain to live it up. I just have to be sitting on my couch with my kids on my lap, jumping on a tramp with 3 little boys who think I am a stud, packing a 6 year old on a bus to Phoenix or California to a Cross Country race for 3 days or go running with my best friend who I married to be living the dream. I can even go to Davis High School where my BFF is a teacher, laugh and joke for a bit and talk running with a bunch of kids who are eager to learn a thing or two about how to run the mile, from a guy who at one time in what seems like a past life was a pretty good miler. It really doesn't get much better.
Your life is in your hands. You know what you love.
Now get out there and "Live it up."

Here are pictures of me Living it up. As you can see: No Magic involved.

Hanging with my fellas!


The family.

Hanging out with my Child bride in Monticello, Utah
Playing Hoops.

XC Camp.
Hanging out with my lady, and my bro and his lady roasting hot dogs over the stove.
A few friends.
A few more friends, and brother, and my lady.
The AF boys. We're just shot at crap after a night of camping out.

Filling balloons with shaving cream, for some reason with some roommates. I decided to seize the day and shave.
Hanging out at Albertson's at around 4 AM with Heather, Kelly, and some worker.
Running at State XC. See, I did run.
A late night of shooting hoops with the guys. We went well into the early morning hours.

It is these times I miss, and love most.

Darwin's train.

Brad:

I spend a lot of time keeping up on current events around Utah. I've noticed that lately there have been a lot of incidents of people getting hit by Trax-- Guys on skateboards, drunk pedestrians, careless vagrants... you name it. Am I sitting upon a high horse thinking that someone would have to be pretty stupid to get hit by a train? Its not like a train can sneak up on you. Even if it can sneak up on you it is no surprise where the train travels--on the tracks!! My question is: Do you think that Trax is helping society in Salt Lake City through the process of survival of the fittest--you know, Darwin's Natural Selection?

David - Salt Lake City, UT

You know, I've thought the same thing David. We need to come to grips with the fact that some people are just really, really stupid. I too, have wondered how some moron could ride his bicycle, perhaps built for two, into a train. As you pointed out, it is not like it can sneak up on you or anything. At times I do think it is natural selection at work.
TRAX seems to be the perfect "weeder" for the Salt Lake City area. It takes out the dummy's while keeping you from getting blood on your shoes. It genius really.
Now it is in your hands to support this "Darwin train". Make sure we keep it around, so we can rid ourselves of ding dong's.

Facebook or life?

Which should I do first: Write my paper for Introduction to Islam, or
study for the midterm in Political Science 200? Or should I just keep
surfing facebook?

Timothy (The Bishop) - Provo, UT

Don't be stupid Tim...Facebook always wins. I'm not sure what else to tell you. Would you rather do what you need to do, or what you want to do? It's a simple choice for for me.
For instance. I really want to kiss Amber, french style, and I need to mow the lawn. Of course I'll be kissing French style FIRST.
I hope this helps.

Afraid of the night?

i am in desperate need of some advise brad....it's my daughter......she is 8 years old....and the poor little girl is scared to death of the wild animals she hears at night....she says it's animals that don't even exist....she doesn't want me to shut the door now and is pretty scared of her room.....i think we have traumatized the poor girl....what should i tell her....how can i explain where these noises are coming from?

Emily - Ogden (Greatest city in the World) , Utah

Emily, I have heard this all too many times. But see, kids are afraid because they think they should be. Here is a poem I wrote me kids.

Night Time

by Brad Anderson

1/6/2005



Night time isn't scary.

It's just different. That is all.

Although it might be spooky

when you're young and kind of small.

In a lot of ways it's better

than the day when sun is out.

I know a couple of those things

I'll tell you all about.

In the day time you can't see the stars.

and they are all so neat.

I like to watch them twinkle.

That is such a special treat.

It looks like they are winking.

It's a show that's just for me.

Sometimes they run across the sky,

so everyone can see.

And the moon is the Sun's brother,

'cept he isn't quite as bright.

He likes it when I come outside

to look at him at night.

The Moon will change his shape.

I like it best when he is round.

It looks like he's a ball of cheese

that's high above the ground.

It's not scary when it's dark out,

it's just different 'cause you can't see.

But the flowers are still out there.

Just like every single tree.

And all the birds are outside too,

except they're in a nest.

And when it's time for them to sleep,

they like the dark the best.

Even though it's dark outside

I know my bike, and toys are there.

They're laying where I left them

with no worry and no care.

When it's dark the world is not so loud.

There aren't a lot of cars.

Then I don't have to speak so loud

when talking to the stars.

And I like things when they're different.

It is nice to have things change.

But if you never try it out at all

you'll always think it's strange.

And then it might seem scary

even though it's really not.

I bet if you give night a chance

you'll like the dark a lot.





* NOTE TO READER: I never wanted the boys to be afraid of the dark. So I have always tried to get them to see the good parts of it. If they seem a little scared I've always said:"See the Dark isn't scary. It's just different." Then I point out all of the things are out side, but they just can't see them. So neither of the boys really have a problem with the dark. I figured the only reason people are afraid of the dark is because they have been told they should be. Anyway, that is where the idea for this came from. (Do realize I still run inside as fast as I can when I am at my Mom's. Because there are Monsters there. The trees behind here house are spooky. Just don't tell my boys that.)

Getting the guts to be gutsy.

Brad, I just ran the 3200m at a track meet. I didn't do very well. I've always heard that one needs to take some risks and make some gutsy moves. I have never been one to do such a thing, but I think that it would help me. How do I learn to take some risks and run a less hesitant race?

Jeff - Kaysville, Utah

Well Jeff, this one is simple. Have you ever read the book The Secret? All you need to do is write down what you want on a piece of paper and it will come true. But as you know, I wouldn't let you off the hook like that. Don't buy The Secret. Unless you want to blow a few bucks.
In order become a gutsy runner you have to know what you are trying to do. "Running Gutsy" is very ambiguous. To me, that just means getting a goal you are shooting for and doing what you need to do in the race to make it happen.
If you are looking to feel good about your race you need to get a specific goal. Whether it's "run a 10:00 3,200." or "Take top 3". I also suggest having a few goals like: "Set a PR, Run a 10:00 3,200, Take top 3, Beat Topher Tacklehuckin, etc".
Running is hard. If you don't have a specific target, you will oft times find yourself feeling less that happy about your races. Sure, a lot of races you won't hit your top goal, but it is learning from those races that will get you there.
Running on the track has it's advantages. You know exactly where you are in each race, since the track is measured out. You can set a Goal time, and check to see where you are. Say you want to run a 4 minute mile (I know what you are thinking. Just an example kids. Just an example.) You know that you need to run each 400 in 60 seconds. Each 200 in 30 seconds, and each 100 in 15 seconds. Break the race up and monitor your times. If you come through the first 400 in 17 seconds (Not bad depending on your race strategy) you know you have 2 seconds to make up. Run the next 100 in 14 seconds and you know you have 1 second to make up now. I don't want to make this confusing, but I hope you get the point. Running a Gutsy race , as far as I am concerned, is having a goal, and doing whatever you need to do in order to get it down, come hell or high water.
If you look at elite runners, they know what time they want to run. Even in a Marathon, if you ask them where they want to be time wise at the 5K, 10K, 15K, Half Marathon, etc. I will bet my bottom dollar they will know. If they get out and conditions aren't right for that goal, I can bet you that they have a Plan B, Plan C, and so on.
Like I have said before: "Running is not rocket science." I know when you hear something like "Running a 'Gutsy' Race" it seems like there is some magical thing you need to do. It's not that at all. When someone has guts, they do what they set out to do. And if they didn't hit their goal, they had done all they could do to have accomplished it.
If you look back at the post about "Becoming a great runner", you will see that you don't run gutsy without first putting in the work. I know your coaches...if fact, Your coach is my BFF. He knows EXACTLY what he is doing. You are in great hands. If you want to run gutsy in races then you need to put in the work in practice. You can WANT to run Gutsy all you want, but there is no magic involved. If you do not train hard then running Gutsy is something that you can't obtain. If you put in the work, the rest is just details.Get with your coach and let him know what your goals are. I know he will help you get there. Coaches are very busy. There are a lot of runners. But I know, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that if you go to them and ask for help, they will give you all of the attention you need. It has nothing to do with speed. It has to do with who wants the help, and who wants to run their best. Ask and ye shall receive.
It is also a good idea to write down what you are trying to do. Write your goals down. But writing it down isn't the what makes it happen. The work makes it happen. But it is very helpful in reminding you what you want to accomplish.
I know you Jeff. I know you are a hard worker. I have no doubt you are a gutsy runner. You just need to pin point what you want to do, and talk with your coach to get a plan to get there. Then go into your next race knowing your splits and where you have to be. I know when you have that goal, you will be there. You are a gutsy runner. You just don't know it...YET.