Dear Brad, I am faced with a problem and I come to you because of your wisdom and studliness, you see there is a girl on the team that in my opinion is the prettiest girl in the world, but she is older than me. What should I do?
Sincerely, Brayden
p.s. I think the other freshman could use this advice too. ;)
My advice is simple. Do what you would do if she were your same age. Though my wife is younger than me, most of the girls I liked and dated back in the day were older than me. So go for it. The only problem was by the time I was a senior they had all graduated. But luckily for me there was a sexy lass who was a sophomore. A wise man once said to me: "Love Knoweth no age, and if she is hot, then go get her and give her a big kiss."
If you like an older girl then ye shall asketh that girl out. And in as much as ye ask her out she will rejoice in her room for the space of many days. And when she is done rejoicing by her lonesome ye will take her out on a date. And you may even locketh thy lips in an embrace of love. And Brad will be pleased. Thus sayeth the Brad.
Go get her my man!
Showing posts with label Boys and Girls. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Boys and Girls. Show all posts
Monday, July 5, 2010
Saturday, November 29, 2008
Going in for the kiss!
What is the best way to set up a kiss?
Jake-Kaysville UT
I would say with another person, who you like, and likes you back. Then I would make sure that they are facing you so you don't kiss them in the back of the head. If you are just trying to kiss them on the hand, I would make sure you are facing his or her hand. I would make sure, prior to moving in or the hand kiss, that their hand is not covered in dirt, or even worse, dog or baby poop. That will make for a kiss that will leave you gagging every time you think about it after that.
Next, I would pucker your, hopefully ,soft, moist, lips too. It makes more a better kissing experience.
Setting up a kiss is nothing more than being with someone you really like, and likes you back. The mood is right. Your hearts are both pounding wildly as if to beg you to move in for the kill. You slide in closer. You lips are puckered in a puckering fashion. Your eyes will soon close, and WHAMO!!! You've got lip lock baby! If you think about it too much you are bound to make it awkward. Just let it ride my friend.
It's about being together more than anything. You'll see the signs. If she looks at your lips, you know she is eyeing down the prize. If she is looking up at you , you can take that sign to the bank. If you slowly move it, and her head turns away a bit, or her chin gets lowered...ABORT MISSION SOLDIER! Test out the water, make sure she wants to kiss you. Looks for the subtle signs. The looking in the eyes, licking of the lips, chap sticking of the kisser, the moving closer of the face. You'll know.
But remember, if she isn't giving you the signs, I suggest you slow it down a bit son. There is no use planting a kiss prematurely. It will just lead to not kissing those lips again any time soon.
Treat your ladies with respect, and you will find that your lips will be much more productive. Treat your ladies right son, and your lips will thank you. Don't rush, push, or shove it. Make sure she knows that she is what you care about, and the kiss is just a way to show that. If you make her feel like it's all about the kiss, you may as well have a cold sore. TREAT THE LADIES WELL!!! Not only do the deserve that, but you will also find you will have a lot more success in the smooching department.
Now get out there and start kissing!
Jake-Kaysville UT
I would say with another person, who you like, and likes you back. Then I would make sure that they are facing you so you don't kiss them in the back of the head. If you are just trying to kiss them on the hand, I would make sure you are facing his or her hand. I would make sure, prior to moving in or the hand kiss, that their hand is not covered in dirt, or even worse, dog or baby poop. That will make for a kiss that will leave you gagging every time you think about it after that.
Next, I would pucker your, hopefully ,soft, moist, lips too. It makes more a better kissing experience.
Setting up a kiss is nothing more than being with someone you really like, and likes you back. The mood is right. Your hearts are both pounding wildly as if to beg you to move in for the kill. You slide in closer. You lips are puckered in a puckering fashion. Your eyes will soon close, and WHAMO!!! You've got lip lock baby! If you think about it too much you are bound to make it awkward. Just let it ride my friend.
It's about being together more than anything. You'll see the signs. If she looks at your lips, you know she is eyeing down the prize. If she is looking up at you , you can take that sign to the bank. If you slowly move it, and her head turns away a bit, or her chin gets lowered...ABORT MISSION SOLDIER! Test out the water, make sure she wants to kiss you. Looks for the subtle signs. The looking in the eyes, licking of the lips, chap sticking of the kisser, the moving closer of the face. You'll know.
But remember, if she isn't giving you the signs, I suggest you slow it down a bit son. There is no use planting a kiss prematurely. It will just lead to not kissing those lips again any time soon.
Treat your ladies with respect, and you will find that your lips will be much more productive. Treat your ladies right son, and your lips will thank you. Don't rush, push, or shove it. Make sure she knows that she is what you care about, and the kiss is just a way to show that. If you make her feel like it's all about the kiss, you may as well have a cold sore. TREAT THE LADIES WELL!!! Not only do the deserve that, but you will also find you will have a lot more success in the smooching department.
Now get out there and start kissing!
Tuesday, September 23, 2008
The Greatness of Girls!
Dear Brad, Some of us girls have a problem. We know that we are incredibly strong and tough, not to mention good looking and fast. What could possibly be our problem??? Well, we are afraid that we are intimidating the boys. How do we let them know that beneath all of our awesomeness we are just ordinary girls?
~ KT, Meg, M, and Jewels (Davis County...where all the awesome girls are from!)
Ladies! Ladies! Calm down. First you have to realize a few things. Intimidating boys is just fine. Never let them think that you aren't all of those great qualities. See, Boys are idiots. Yep, pure, stone cold, head to toe, idiots. And when it comes to the opposite sex it gets even worse.
You are not ordinary girls. You are Cross Country runners! Not only that, but you are really good Cross Country runners. From what I hear in the hallways you guys are pretty good lookin' too. And all of this while the other teams are ugly...and presumably taking last. These boys of which you talk are more awe struck than anything else. How do they speak to such running goddesses?
It's like my Uncle Kenneth used to say. "I am diabetic, but that in no way means I can't sneak myself a snicker-doodle once and again." It wasn't a very good saying, as far as this goes, but it is still a saying. It meant that even though he is diabetic, sometimes he can eat snicker-doodles. I hope I cleared that up.
Maybe a saying that is more appropriate would be: "Boys know they are going to screw any relationship up, so sometimes it's better to watch thy beauty than let thy beauty hate thee." I wish with all of my heart someone had once said that. It would have been fitting for this section of advice.
My main advice is; who cares what these boys think? If they are intimidated by you guys than they are not man enough to have you. Stay strong, and cower to no one. Keep being awesome, and one day you will be able to find a fellow, who will most assuredly be a runner, who can handle every bit of the amazing, tough, awesomeness that you all possess. You are lucky you have coaches that have taught you to be so cool!
~ KT, Meg, M, and Jewels (Davis County...where all the awesome girls are from!)
Ladies! Ladies! Calm down. First you have to realize a few things. Intimidating boys is just fine. Never let them think that you aren't all of those great qualities. See, Boys are idiots. Yep, pure, stone cold, head to toe, idiots. And when it comes to the opposite sex it gets even worse.
You are not ordinary girls. You are Cross Country runners! Not only that, but you are really good Cross Country runners. From what I hear in the hallways you guys are pretty good lookin' too. And all of this while the other teams are ugly...and presumably taking last. These boys of which you talk are more awe struck than anything else. How do they speak to such running goddesses?
It's like my Uncle Kenneth used to say. "I am diabetic, but that in no way means I can't sneak myself a snicker-doodle once and again." It wasn't a very good saying, as far as this goes, but it is still a saying. It meant that even though he is diabetic, sometimes he can eat snicker-doodles. I hope I cleared that up.
Maybe a saying that is more appropriate would be: "Boys know they are going to screw any relationship up, so sometimes it's better to watch thy beauty than let thy beauty hate thee." I wish with all of my heart someone had once said that. It would have been fitting for this section of advice.
My main advice is; who cares what these boys think? If they are intimidated by you guys than they are not man enough to have you. Stay strong, and cower to no one. Keep being awesome, and one day you will be able to find a fellow, who will most assuredly be a runner, who can handle every bit of the amazing, tough, awesomeness that you all possess. You are lucky you have coaches that have taught you to be so cool!
Thursday, September 18, 2008
I'm too sexy!
Hey Brad, I have a problem very similar to Brian’s. It is only reversed. You see all these really beautiful girls, some on the cross country team, some not, have placed me on that very same pedestal that Brian has placed his woman on. You see I try talking to them and they give me a nervous look and talk in just the sweetest hushed voice. I just know that they are more outgoing than that, maybe they are just stunned at my rugged physique, I don’t know, but I just don’t want all this awkwardness and to be able to talk to them like really good friends. What should I do?
Derek "The Gally" - Kaysville, UT
Derek my son, you are in a very tough spot. You are as Derek Zoolander would say, "Really, really, ridiculously good looking." I have seen your physique. I had been meaning to ask you if Zeus were your father. I thought maybe you and Thor-bin were brother's.
If you want to get off of this pedestal, you need to learn to fall my son. Quit flexing when you sharpen your pencil. Stop making your butt muscles pulse in and out while you use the drinking fountain. These things have been proven to drive the ladies nuts. You are not going to a gun show, so wear something other than tank tops. All that is doing is making the girlie's nervous to talk to you. You look so manly, and strong, and awesome.
Next, lay off of the Red Bull. It's given you so much energy. Like the other day when you tried to pen that metal door, but you crushed it instead. Again, it's a driver of crazy girls.
Now let's focus on the studly things you say. Instead of saying: "Excuse me, but do my muscles make me look fat?" Say: "I'm just a normal dude under all of this muscle. Wanna feel my pectorals?" Instead of: "Doggone it, this is the third shirt I've torn today by flexing." Say "Ah, this doggone shirt aint no good if it rips when these huge muscles enlarge. It's tough being tough."
Pretty soon the ladies will feel more comfortable with you. But first you need to be comfortable with yourself. If you don't love you for what you are, how can they? It is easy to tell if some one is proud of who they really are. Don't become a wimp just for the girls. Make them love the "Muscle Head" you truly are. I've given you some suggestions, but now the tough part is up to you.
Now go and flex some more.
COMMENTS?
Derek "The Gally" - Kaysville, UT
Derek my son, you are in a very tough spot. You are as Derek Zoolander would say, "Really, really, ridiculously good looking." I have seen your physique. I had been meaning to ask you if Zeus were your father. I thought maybe you and Thor-bin were brother's.
If you want to get off of this pedestal, you need to learn to fall my son. Quit flexing when you sharpen your pencil. Stop making your butt muscles pulse in and out while you use the drinking fountain. These things have been proven to drive the ladies nuts. You are not going to a gun show, so wear something other than tank tops. All that is doing is making the girlie's nervous to talk to you. You look so manly, and strong, and awesome.
Next, lay off of the Red Bull. It's given you so much energy. Like the other day when you tried to pen that metal door, but you crushed it instead. Again, it's a driver of crazy girls.
Now let's focus on the studly things you say. Instead of saying: "Excuse me, but do my muscles make me look fat?" Say: "I'm just a normal dude under all of this muscle. Wanna feel my pectorals?" Instead of: "Doggone it, this is the third shirt I've torn today by flexing." Say "Ah, this doggone shirt aint no good if it rips when these huge muscles enlarge. It's tough being tough."
Pretty soon the ladies will feel more comfortable with you. But first you need to be comfortable with yourself. If you don't love you for what you are, how can they? It is easy to tell if some one is proud of who they really are. Don't become a wimp just for the girls. Make them love the "Muscle Head" you truly are. I've given you some suggestions, but now the tough part is up to you.
Now go and flex some more.
COMMENTS?
Monday, September 15, 2008
I can't talk to her.
Hey Brad there is this girl and she's is just fine. She's on the soccer team and to me soccer chicks are among the worlds finest besides cross country runners of course. Well she's a shy girl but she is way gorgeous and I can't talk to her cause I'm afraid of being rejected or her thinking I'm weird. I mean this girl is like "wow man I'm not worthy so show mercy" beautiful. What should I do to talk to her.
Brian- Kaysville
Well Brian, you got one thing straight. Runner's are the hottest girls. I have said that my whole life. Well, maybe not my whole life, but since I started to get to know runners. And it's not just their looks. It take one fine woman to run hard, sweat, and still smile.
But soccer chicks are a close second. It's all in the soccer style my man. It's dope. I chased many a soccer chick in my day. But in the end, I fell the hardest for a runner.
Your first problem you have is that you have put her up so high on a pedestal that you don't think you can get up there. Well my son, today is the day you are going to learn to climb, or at least chop down a pedestal. She may be the most beautiful girl in the world, but she is still just a girl. Why aren't you worthy? All you've done by putting her so high on that pedestal is keep yourself from trying. It's like running dear friend. You'll never beat someone you don't think you can beat. Same goes for the lady folk. You won't end up with a girl you don't think you should end up with.
I'm going to give you a little homework. This week I need you to rent, and watch a few movies.
1: Some Kind of Wonderful. (One of my all time favorite's)
2: Dead poet's Society. ("Damn it Neil, it's Nuwanda." That was my brother and my saying when we were going after a girl. You hear it in the movie.)
3: Say anything.
4: Mystery Date.
Hopefully you can draw some inspiration. I know I drew some inspiration from these fine flicks.
Now all you need to do is talk to her. What is she interested in? Talk to her about that. Ask about soccer. Ask her about herself. People love talking about themselves whether they admit it or not. If you want a conversation to go well, just be yourself. Find out what she likes. What classes she likes, etc. It's like running in so many ways. If you want to be a good runner you have to run. It really is that simple. If you want to be able to talk to her, you have to talk to her. I am sure you will find that she is really down to Earth, and will enjoy your conversation. You don't have to get deep right off. Just say "Hi".
I would usually start off by saying "Hi". Then joking around with them a little. Before you know it their guard is down and you've got a one way ticket to "Lover Boy, USA". Just start with saying "Hello". Once you are there, the hardest part is done. You don't have to solve her problems or anything. Just talk to her.
Let's wrap this up pal, if you want to be able to talk to her, than talk to her. Let's just say it goes terribly awry, and you say something that blows it. (Of course this will not happen...trust me.) So you don't talk with her again. You're where you are now...not talking to her. But say you start talking, and everything works out great and you take her out, and take her to prom, and then get engaged, and then get married, and have 347 kids, and become a millionaire. Okay, okay I'm getting a head of myself. But the point is, NOTHING will happen if you don't talk to her. You've got nothing to lose. It's like Wayne Gretzky once said: "You miss one hundred percent of the shots you don't take." ( I know, if you tear it apart it doesn't make sense, but what he means is you will never score if you don't shoot.) Don't miss out on her because you never tried.
I really want to know how it goes. And bring me a picture and I'll tell you if you should go for her any way.
And here's a song for you!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UfHijcxit6M
Now go and speak some more.
COMMENTS?
Brian- Kaysville
Well Brian, you got one thing straight. Runner's are the hottest girls. I have said that my whole life. Well, maybe not my whole life, but since I started to get to know runners. And it's not just their looks. It take one fine woman to run hard, sweat, and still smile.
But soccer chicks are a close second. It's all in the soccer style my man. It's dope. I chased many a soccer chick in my day. But in the end, I fell the hardest for a runner.
Your first problem you have is that you have put her up so high on a pedestal that you don't think you can get up there. Well my son, today is the day you are going to learn to climb, or at least chop down a pedestal. She may be the most beautiful girl in the world, but she is still just a girl. Why aren't you worthy? All you've done by putting her so high on that pedestal is keep yourself from trying. It's like running dear friend. You'll never beat someone you don't think you can beat. Same goes for the lady folk. You won't end up with a girl you don't think you should end up with.
I'm going to give you a little homework. This week I need you to rent, and watch a few movies.
1: Some Kind of Wonderful. (One of my all time favorite's)
2: Dead poet's Society. ("Damn it Neil, it's Nuwanda." That was my brother and my saying when we were going after a girl. You hear it in the movie.)
3: Say anything.
4: Mystery Date.
Hopefully you can draw some inspiration. I know I drew some inspiration from these fine flicks.
Now all you need to do is talk to her. What is she interested in? Talk to her about that. Ask about soccer. Ask her about herself. People love talking about themselves whether they admit it or not. If you want a conversation to go well, just be yourself. Find out what she likes. What classes she likes, etc. It's like running in so many ways. If you want to be a good runner you have to run. It really is that simple. If you want to be able to talk to her, you have to talk to her. I am sure you will find that she is really down to Earth, and will enjoy your conversation. You don't have to get deep right off. Just say "Hi".
I would usually start off by saying "Hi". Then joking around with them a little. Before you know it their guard is down and you've got a one way ticket to "Lover Boy, USA". Just start with saying "Hello". Once you are there, the hardest part is done. You don't have to solve her problems or anything. Just talk to her.
Let's wrap this up pal, if you want to be able to talk to her, than talk to her. Let's just say it goes terribly awry, and you say something that blows it. (Of course this will not happen...trust me.) So you don't talk with her again. You're where you are now...not talking to her. But say you start talking, and everything works out great and you take her out, and take her to prom, and then get engaged, and then get married, and have 347 kids, and become a millionaire. Okay, okay I'm getting a head of myself. But the point is, NOTHING will happen if you don't talk to her. You've got nothing to lose. It's like Wayne Gretzky once said: "You miss one hundred percent of the shots you don't take." ( I know, if you tear it apart it doesn't make sense, but what he means is you will never score if you don't shoot.) Don't miss out on her because you never tried.
I really want to know how it goes. And bring me a picture and I'll tell you if you should go for her any way.
And here's a song for you!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UfHijcxit6M
Now go and speak some more.
COMMENTS?
What to say?
Brad-
I like to think that I am somewhat beautiful, but when I am around the fairer sex, I am at a loss for words. I might say something wrong, something stupid or something offensive without even knowing it. What should I do about this dilemma?
Joe-Fruit Heights
Well friend, first I must say that Somewhat Beautiful does not cut it. A work of art is more like it. So you are good to go in that department.
You need to realize a few things before we go any further. Though girls are the fairer sex, they will chew you up and spit you out faster than you can say: "Advice please!" Try as you might, but brother, they are like a mine field. I've lost many "limbs of love" walking, carefully at times, through the battlefield we call love. If the fairer sex weren't so wonderful I would tell you to run away as fast as possible.
As far as being at a loss of words...well, I would enjoy that. Nothing is better than being in the presence of a girl so beautiful you can't say anything. It happens to me every time I come home from work. (If my wife's home. If she's not then I have all kinds of things to say like: "Anyone home?" or "Where is everyone?") When you finally pick your jaw up off of the ground, just ask about what's going on. Act like it's your friend. How do you talk to a girl you know really well?
The other problem you might be having is you are trying to hard. You don't need to think about what to say. Just be yourself. You're a cool guy. (And if I think you're cool, you are on the right track. I said the phone was cool, and look where it is now.) If I had learned that earlier I wouldn't have waited until I was 7 to start kissing Valerie Nichols. I would have started at 6, for sure. Be yourself and suave things like: "Hey ladies!", "Any up for a little Joe tonight?", or "Toot toot, all aboard the Joe train. Next stop Love Land!" You know, things chicks dig!
I don't think I could count how many people, when they got older, thought: "You know, I would have had such better luck if I had just been myself." If you spend too much time trying to be what you THINK they want, you'll end up waving as she sails off on her honeymoon cruise. (You're waving because she married some other dude...if you didn't catch that the first time.)
It's true that you should realize that you are not in the guys locker room when you talk with girls. But it shouldn't be too much work. But if you try to b something you are not you won't be happy anyway. I suggest being yourself, and find a fair young maiden who likes you for you. Life is hard enough. It's a lot easier getting through it as yourself.
In closing, we all end up saying stupid things. I said my fair share. Laugh it off. Most girls like a guy who can laugh at his self. Remember, you remember the embarrassing moments more than other people. In fact, give it a week and you are the only person who will ever think about it again. I know it's a lot easier to look back and say: "Man I was dumb." So take some advice from someone who has been there, and done stupid things. Don't waste your time being what you are not. Let the ladies love Joe! (Not that other guy.)
Now get out there and get some battle scars.
I like to think that I am somewhat beautiful, but when I am around the fairer sex, I am at a loss for words. I might say something wrong, something stupid or something offensive without even knowing it. What should I do about this dilemma?
Joe-Fruit Heights
Well friend, first I must say that Somewhat Beautiful does not cut it. A work of art is more like it. So you are good to go in that department.
You need to realize a few things before we go any further. Though girls are the fairer sex, they will chew you up and spit you out faster than you can say: "Advice please!" Try as you might, but brother, they are like a mine field. I've lost many "limbs of love" walking, carefully at times, through the battlefield we call love. If the fairer sex weren't so wonderful I would tell you to run away as fast as possible.
As far as being at a loss of words...well, I would enjoy that. Nothing is better than being in the presence of a girl so beautiful you can't say anything. It happens to me every time I come home from work. (If my wife's home. If she's not then I have all kinds of things to say like: "Anyone home?" or "Where is everyone?") When you finally pick your jaw up off of the ground, just ask about what's going on. Act like it's your friend. How do you talk to a girl you know really well?
The other problem you might be having is you are trying to hard. You don't need to think about what to say. Just be yourself. You're a cool guy. (And if I think you're cool, you are on the right track. I said the phone was cool, and look where it is now.) If I had learned that earlier I wouldn't have waited until I was 7 to start kissing Valerie Nichols. I would have started at 6, for sure. Be yourself and suave things like: "Hey ladies!", "Any up for a little Joe tonight?", or "Toot toot, all aboard the Joe train. Next stop Love Land!" You know, things chicks dig!
I don't think I could count how many people, when they got older, thought: "You know, I would have had such better luck if I had just been myself." If you spend too much time trying to be what you THINK they want, you'll end up waving as she sails off on her honeymoon cruise. (You're waving because she married some other dude...if you didn't catch that the first time.)
It's true that you should realize that you are not in the guys locker room when you talk with girls. But it shouldn't be too much work. But if you try to b something you are not you won't be happy anyway. I suggest being yourself, and find a fair young maiden who likes you for you. Life is hard enough. It's a lot easier getting through it as yourself.
In closing, we all end up saying stupid things. I said my fair share. Laugh it off. Most girls like a guy who can laugh at his self. Remember, you remember the embarrassing moments more than other people. In fact, give it a week and you are the only person who will ever think about it again. I know it's a lot easier to look back and say: "Man I was dumb." So take some advice from someone who has been there, and done stupid things. Don't waste your time being what you are not. Let the ladies love Joe! (Not that other guy.)
Now get out there and get some battle scars.
Saturday, September 6, 2008
Singing to Chicks.
"I'm thinking of getting some lady folk. What would be the best song to sing to her?"
Seth - Kaysville, UT
First we need to figure some things out. Can you sing? If not, keep your yapper shut. If you can, why do you want to sing to her? To really make her swoon? If so, I would try: "Feel like Makin' love", "You gots my heart all melty and such", "You are cuter than the last girl I courted", or "I didn't know that was your sister."
Or write one about her. I suggest not being too serious. A little humor goes a long way, especially if you don't have the voice of, say, Harry Connick Jr.
Good luck my little song bird!
Comments?
Seth - Kaysville, UT
First we need to figure some things out. Can you sing? If not, keep your yapper shut. If you can, why do you want to sing to her? To really make her swoon? If so, I would try: "Feel like Makin' love", "You gots my heart all melty and such", "You are cuter than the last girl I courted", or "I didn't know that was your sister."
Or write one about her. I suggest not being too serious. A little humor goes a long way, especially if you don't have the voice of, say, Harry Connick Jr.
Good luck my little song bird!
Comments?
"Jokes about girls"
"Brad, I know this boy that keeps telling jokes about women. How do I let him know it is a turn off with out hurting his feelings?"
Rachel - Kaysville, UT
I have seen this problem many times. Some boys think this is funny. I liken it to a little kid pulling a girl he likes hair out at recess. It's not the most productive way to get a bride.
My advice to you is to tell him what you think, but in a joking way. Like: "You know Bartholomew, if you keep telling jokes like that you're never getting married." Or "Mitchell, are these jokes suppose to make me want to make out with you? You know they have more of the effect of making me want to kick you in the face"
If the boy is not a complete idiot, he will get the clue. If he doesn't, he is obviously not a guy you should be going after. Women deserve more than that.
Comments?
Rachel - Kaysville, UT
I have seen this problem many times. Some boys think this is funny. I liken it to a little kid pulling a girl he likes hair out at recess. It's not the most productive way to get a bride.
My advice to you is to tell him what you think, but in a joking way. Like: "You know Bartholomew, if you keep telling jokes like that you're never getting married." Or "Mitchell, are these jokes suppose to make me want to make out with you? You know they have more of the effect of making me want to kick you in the face"
If the boy is not a complete idiot, he will get the clue. If he doesn't, he is obviously not a guy you should be going after. Women deserve more than that.
Comments?
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