I'm too sexy!

Hey Brad, I have a problem very similar to Brian’s. It is only reversed. You see all these really beautiful girls, some on the cross country team, some not, have placed me on that very same pedestal that Brian has placed his woman on. You see I try talking to them and they give me a nervous look and talk in just the sweetest hushed voice. I just know that they are more outgoing than that, maybe they are just stunned at my rugged physique, I don’t know, but I just don’t want all this awkwardness and to be able to talk to them like really good friends. What should I do?

Derek "The Gally" - Kaysville, UT

Derek my son, you are in a very tough spot. You are as Derek Zoolander would say, "Really, really, ridiculously good looking." I have seen your physique. I had been meaning to ask you if Zeus were your father. I thought maybe you and Thor-bin were brother's.
If you want to get off of this pedestal, you need to learn to fall my son. Quit flexing when you sharpen your pencil. Stop making your butt muscles pulse in and out while you use the drinking fountain. These things have been proven to drive the ladies nuts. You are not going to a gun show, so wear something other than tank tops. All that is doing is making the girlie's nervous to talk to you. You look so manly, and strong, and awesome.
Next, lay off of the Red Bull. It's given you so much energy. Like the other day when you tried to pen that metal door, but you crushed it instead. Again, it's a driver of crazy girls.
Now let's focus on the studly things you say. Instead of saying: "Excuse me, but do my muscles make me look fat?" Say: "I'm just a normal dude under all of this muscle. Wanna feel my pectorals?" Instead of: "Doggone it, this is the third shirt I've torn today by flexing." Say "Ah, this doggone shirt aint no good if it rips when these huge muscles enlarge. It's tough being tough."
Pretty soon the ladies will feel more comfortable with you. But first you need to be comfortable with yourself. If you don't love you for what you are, how can they? It is easy to tell if some one is proud of who they really are. Don't become a wimp just for the girls. Make them love the "Muscle Head" you truly are. I've given you some suggestions, but now the tough part is up to you.

Now go and flex some more.

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