Who'd win?

Hey Brad, Now here is the scenario, Batman, one day, was out fighting crime in his usual dark way, and saw the beautiful, redheaded Mary Jane and instantly fell deeply in love with her. Spiderman noticed this and became enraged with jealousy. He got a little physical with Batman and the fight began. What do you think the outcome would be? Who do I cheer for? And if you don't mind, I would appreciate a detailed description of the fight.



Joe-Fruit Heights

It's always nice to see dudes fighting over girls. I never did it, but it looked like a lot of fun. I was much more of a lover than a fighter. I prefer to swell my lips through kisses, not fists.

But let's look at the outcome. Batman is walking down the street when he sees a hot babe. He thinks to his bat self: "That gal with redish hair is one fine lady. I think I shall bring my bat body over there to say 'hi'." Now, across the way is a man in tights, who goes by the name of Spiderman is looking down upon this exchange of pleasantries between his girlie, and his Bat buddy, known to as Batman.
Spider man has a pretty bad temper. It was first noticed when he was shorted some change at Big 5, and he webbed the section of the store where the low end Weight machines sit. It was a "webby" mess. The manager had to come out to settle down Spiderman, but Spider man, using his Spider like abilities, had climbed to the ceiling of the store. The manager looked around for 2 or 3 minutes before giving up and going back to his small office that sits in the southwest corner of the warehouse. After the manager, named Skip, by the way, had left, Spidey jumped down and webbed the crap out of the vending machines near the exit. He did it all out of spite too.
Spiderman, mad about Batty getting all up in his love grill swung over to Batman and said: "'Sup fool?"
Batman, looking some what surprised answered: "Nuttin'?"
"Nuttin'?" Spider man questioned. "What kind of Bat does nuttin'?"
""Well, to be honest I'm not a bat." Batman clarified. "I'm just a guy who wears this bat costume. Well, it's not a bat costume, per se', but it's an outfit to make people think I'm part bat, part man. I have no magical powers. It's just a human who is being exceptional if you get my gig."
"Oh so now you are all 'I'm a normal man not a creepy bat'." Spider man replied using a girlie voice when acting as if he is quoting the Batman. "You think you're better than me punk?"
"No sir!" Batman politely replied, and turned and grinned at his new love.
No sooner had Batty turned his head and he was hit in his fake Bat Ears with a wad of web. It knocked him slightly to the right, causing him to nearly lose his balance and step in some chewed gum that some inconsiderate person had spat to the road earlier. It wasn't long ago enough to harden so Batman was lucky that his Bat feet steered clear.
"Whatcha do that for Spider man?" Batman asked, again in a surprised manner.
Without replying Spiderman webbed more web at Batman. But Batman was ready. He whipped out his Bat-Baton and blocked the flying wad of web. He shouted back. "My suit is rubber, your webs are like glue. I bounced it off of my Bat-Baton and it's sticking to your stupid mask made of cloth."
Spidey tried to climb the wall, but Batman was too clever and too strong for the man in tights. He deployed his Batman zip line and shot to the top, way ahead of Spiderman. By the time Spidey hit the roof Batman was there with a milkshake made from Whoop tushy. He sure let that Spider guy have it. Spiderman was like: "Wha' happened?"
He tried with all of his Spider might to turn to the fight in his favor, but this Bat of a man was too much for him. By the time the smoke, webs, and dust had settled Spider man was lying on his back making funny noises. They were so strange that I can not even begin to describe them in type.
So to answer your question, and to give you some advice. Cheer for Batman. He is my favorite of the super heroes for one reason...he has no super natural powers. He is the common man. He didn't need to gain special powers to become great. We can all relate to him much better than any Super or Spider man. We all have a little Batman inside of us. All you need is a reason, and you too can be great. Forget being bitten by a Spider. Forget coming from another planet. All you need is hard work, and courage to be great! Nothing more. Of course, a Bat mobile would be helpful! And that sweet Baterang.

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