"Please help me. So far your advice has been concerning teenagers dealing with teen problems. I'm 60 years old. Can you help me with my problems? They include: where can I get Depends on sale? Is AARP insurance a good buy? Why don't they have Senior Citizen parking spots reserved at Cross Country meet sites? Can a 60-year old man defeat a much younger Morgan "flash" in a 5,000 meter race?"
Old Man - Clearfield, UT
Well Old man, I am happy you wrote. Depends on sale? Try Smith's. AARP? It's okay if you're not a smoker, or someone who does Meth. Senior parking at XC meets? Well, this is simple. We runners know you older folks need a good jog...or at least a walk. So get your lazy butt out of the car and walk for heaven's sake.
Your last question is a really good one. But, I'm sorry to say the answer may not be what you want to hear. Sir, this can not be done. "The Flash" of which you speak is an amazing person that has the "Eye of the tiger". Though I have heard tales of you beating this spry prince in the past, I doubt this will happen again. I know this may be hard to hear, but it's just the truth. My advice? Get yourself a 64 ounce Mtn Dew, and see how much your wholesale Depends can hold before you spring a leak.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
2 comments:
Great advice.
I've got a question. Why do you suck in fantasy football?
Sincerely,
The Guy Who Kicked Your Butt in Fantasy Football
Well, Shred, you pose an interesting question. I suck because I have to look at your face, and it has a sucky vibe, so sucking was bound to happen. And I am what I eat, and I ate your sucky cooking when I was in California.
How 'bout them apples?
Post a Comment